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The Meter Maid Murders [Kindle Edition]

Andrew Delaplaine
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99

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Kindle Edition $2.99  
Paperback $12.95  
Life or Death
"Life or Death is a nerve-shredding thriller with the heart and soul so often missing from lesser crime and suspense novels. I couldn't stop reading, yet I didn't want Audie's story to end. [Michael] Robotham is an absolute master." — Stephen King

Book Description

In this comic thriller about a serial killer loose on South Beach murdering meter maids and starring Jake Bricker, the most ineffective detective ever, the first meter maid murder was thought to be an accident. The second one, a coincidence. But when a third meter maid is killed, Chief Raffy Ramirez knows he has a serial killer on his hands.

And when that meter maid, Samantha Succubus, turns out to be the sister of Sara Succubus, the lead anchor of the XYZ Network’s top-rated morning news program in New York, the story becomes an international sensation.

Stuck in a difficult re-election campaign, Miami Beach Mayor Johnny Germane leans on Chief Ramirez to solve the murders, and now! But Ramirez has every man on the Force working the case, except Jake Bricker, a cop Ramirez has labelled “The Ineffective Detective.” Finally, giving in to pressure, Ramirez puts Bricker on the case. “What harm can he do?”

When Bricker tells his high school buddy, Billy Willoughby, that he’s on the case, Billy is overjoyed. In fact, Billy (chief investigative reporter for the local XYZ affiliate, Channel 69, WHY-TV) has just developed a lead himself and he shares it with Jake.

A year earlier, Billy had covered a ceremony at which Mayor Germane presented awards to the top 12 meter maids who wrote the most tickets in the last fiscal year. These meter maids were featured in a splashy color calendar. When the meter maids started dying, some of the victims looked familiar, so Billy did a little research and discovered that the meter maid murderer was killing the meter maids in the calendar, one by one, month by month, starting with January. Jake can’t believe his good fortune. “You mean ... we know who his next fuckin’ victim will be?” “Yep,” says Billy, “Miss April.”

Billy wants to go tell Chief Ramirez the news, break the story and win an Emmy, but Jake gets him to sit on the scoop so Jake can catch the killer red-handed and take all the credit. “Billy, my career really needs this,” he begs.

Of course, even though he knows the killer’s next target, Bricker somehow misses nabbing the killer, one meter maid after another, till by Miss November, Billy is losing patience with his high school buddy.

Product Details

  • File Size: 925 KB
  • Print Length: 176 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Gramercy Park Press (September 8, 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0042G0RGK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #734,233 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Long Awaited! August 16, 2011
By Hannah
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Andrew's comic-tragic book about a South Beach kind of wacky detective novel was just that, very novel. I enjoyed the thrill of this page turner, always waiting to see what was going to happen next. His clever and oh so local images bring a smile to my face. He describes the landscapes and the people in his biting but humorous way. Overall the book was jolly and fun to read and I could see it going on to more adventures. Bravo!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny Funny Funny -- Witty and Satirical January 28, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I'm halfway through this book, and every page has been so entertaining that I have to write a review (bleary-eyed from staying up half the night reading it). From descriptions of the characters and locale to not-so-subtle political satire, this book keeps the reader entertained. I love mystery and detective novels but usually avoid those involving gruesome serial killings, but this author's use of tongue-in-cheek humor elevates the story above reality, allowing the reader to enjoy the plot without believing that the events could actually occur. And the proofreading and editing of the book are evident--halfway through the book, I've only encountered one typographical error (the final e dropped from a name). To the author: thank you for sharing your brilliant wit!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars not for me April 2, 2012
By Liralen
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book was well written, witty and probably very local to South Beach. Never having been there, that part of this novel didn't really appeal to me to much. There are some beautiful descriptive bits though which make South Beach sound like a good place to visit.

Unfortunately, I didn't like the two main characters at all. One was lazy, drank ALL the time and a womanizer and a bit of a bully to his best friend, who put up with it! The meter maids where prejudicially all ugly mean and flat. This made their killings very sanitized, but it came off as snobby--a class war of sorts. The ending left me angry, frustrated and feeling like I lost the hours spent reading the book. I'm glad I got it as a kindle freebie.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really fun read October 10, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I 'bought' the book because it was free. This was a great book. As with the other reviews, the characaters are a bit shallow, but like other people, I kept reading --yes I did read the last few pages--just to see what would happen.
This is a great dreary day, or just want to relax and read something almost mindless and enjoyable --yes homicidal maniacs can be enjoyable--well not really--but in this book they are.

Kudos to the author for keeping me smiling during my lunch breaks!!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Good plot, poor story. August 11, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was an excellent storyline, but the negative reflection of meter maids (the bane of society) and to the extent that the author kept reiterating the fact was bothersome to me. There were a few other parts that bothered me that weren't necessary in the storyline... negative representation of society classes, minorities, physical appearance, etc made it very hard for me to read. It's a great plot, but the negativity in build-up turned me off.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Murder Mystery June 15, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book is a great way to relax on a weekend. It is an silly fun read. The characters are shallow but still have enough personality to make the reader want to see what crazy thing they will do next. The ending is satisfying. I will read more of this author if given the chance.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Different kind of read! March 2, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Really enjoyed it. Quirkey too! Was not a cookie cutter kind of book.Very unsuspected ending too. fun to read as well as funny.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great! June 9, 2012
By banana
It was an awesome read. Im not a big reader but I enjoyed this book. I would recommended it to anyone who enjoys to cuddle up with a good book!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Funny and a mystery. Fun read
Published 1 month ago by Margie Gannon
5.0 out of 5 stars Kindle book
Published 3 months ago by Kathryn Brigham
1.0 out of 5 stars What a Wasted Talent
What a waste of good talent. The mystery was interesting. Interesting enough for me to read 1/3 of the book before I just had to stop. The author is indeed talented. Read more
Published 6 months ago by NYC Guy
5.0 out of 5 stars Andrew Delaplaine's creative writing will capture you! REALLY GREAT!!
Andrew Delaplaine is such a creative writer, really enjoyed this selection
Published 8 months ago by kathy Hidy
4.0 out of 5 stars GOOD READ
I found this author has a weird sense of humor. It was fun to follow his story line. It is a fun read.
Jeanne Zabst
Published 8 months ago by jeanne zabst
3.0 out of 5 stars Cute premise
It was a cute premise. Kind of predictable, but a good read. I enjoyed it and would like to read more like it.
Published 10 months ago by mary gould
5.0 out of 5 stars a FUN read
I don't know if I missed it somehow or I was just slow on the uptake but it took me a few pages to realize that this was written as a 'tongue in cheek' book. Read more
Published 21 months ago by LinneyBean's Mom
1.0 out of 5 stars Nope
Did not like this book . Don't buy this book. Not worth the read even thought when I got it was free I wouldn't keep the book
Published on December 21, 2012 by Ally718
5.0 out of 5 stars What,,????
Really a great book. a little to much time spent on the little details that were non important. although the ending was really good. hope to find more by this author
Published on October 7, 2012 by Kevin
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny Satire
This was a quick but funny satire. The author does a great job maintaining the level of humor and his laser focus on the satire of all things government in Miami and up to the... Read more
Published on September 10, 2012 by DaveReadsALot
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More About the Author

Though born in Coconut Grove, Delaplaine was raised at Edgehill Plantation in South Carolina. Currently lives on South Beach.

He writes several series:

The JACK HOUSTON ST. CLAIR books are political thrillers based in Miami and Washington.

The ANNALS OF SANTOPIA books re-imagine the Santa Claus legend, and follow one Santa from the time he's born in the year 1900 until he dies in 1982.

THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES IV follow the great-great-great grandson of the famous consulting detective as he solves crimes from his base at Fleming House, his boutique hotel on Lincoln Road in South Beach.

The TRAP DOOR books follow Charlie Heminges as he travels back in time through a trap door in the stage of London's Globe Theatre to Elizabethan times where he works as a young actor in Shakespeare's company. (Only one book in this series so far, THE TRAP DOOR.)

The JAKE BRICKER books are "comic thrillers" featuring what his police chief calls "the ineffective detective" as he fumbles his way through the crime-ridden world of South Beach. Along the way, he learns nothing. (Only one in this series so far, THE METER MAID MURDERS.)

As a travel writer for many years, Delaplaine still publishes several guidebooks updated 3 or 4 times a year.

He also writes several guidebooks for people visiting certain cities for 2 or 3 days and need a short, concise view of the city -- where to stay, what to do, where to eat.

With sister Renee, he owned a trendy restaurant (Scratch) in the Cocaine Cowboy days when South Beach was just getting started in the late '80s; a notorious nightclub (the Warsaw Ballroom) famous for its decadent foam parties during the days when South Beach was more aptly termed Sodom by the Sea; founded, edited and published what is still the longest-running weekly on South Beach (Wire); ran a TV show (The Live Wire). Also writes a "History of South Beach" called SOBEPEDIA, organized in A-Z fashion, with thousands of cross-references, updated 4 times yearly.

He has directed three feature films and several shorts. (Details at

He also writes feature films. The last one made was MEETING SPENCER starring Jeffrey Tambor, available on Amazon.



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