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Milky Way Marmalade

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An orange cube of gelatin contains the ultimate knowledge in of the universe. Called L'Orange, or the Akashic Records, or the Philosopher's Stone, or the Universal Hologram, and so on, it contains the past, present and future of all things. In the year 3265, Trinesmart Quark, II, a "procurer" of exotic foods, travels the universe in pursuit of his trade, until he tires of killing exotics merely for the satisfaction of the extremely wealthy and indulged. Soon he finds himself in pursuit of L'Orange and engaged in a surreal adventure.

Floating in the vastness of space, Caffrey discovers an ancient jukebox and recovers the sound of 20th century music. Living in a time when music no longer exists, Caffey finds that rock and roll speaks to his soul. His new passion lends new purpose to his life and he retire from procurement to spend his life on 20th century earth. But soon the android Poe 33, Portsmith to L'Orange finds him and ask for help. Suspiciously separated from L'Orange, Poe 33 needs Quark to help him before another entity can capture L'Orange and gain ultimate domination of the universe.

Author Michael DiCerto pens a novel that combines the outrageous fun of HITCHHIKER THROUGH THE GALLAXY and Monty Python with the search for cosmic meaning. Exotic imaginings and bizarre adventure lend MILKY WAY MARMALADE an irresistible appeal with its whimsical and outrageous style. Science fiction fans will discover DiCerto's gift of fabulous characterizations and wicked plotting lends a dynamic freshness to the genre. With rich nuances that become at once spiritual and satirical, MILKY WAY MARMALADE belongs on the keeper shelf. Very highly recommended.

...and so much more. Milky Way Marmalade is a trip .

Once you embark on Michael DiCerto's often-demented-yet-virtuous romp to save the Universe, you will find yourself looking at little dogs in a different light and will likely have more respect for marmalade (Orange, to be specific). In fact, you may find yourself looking at everything in a different light.

MWM is SciFi/D&D /Douglas Adams/Chaucer/Hunter Thompson all rolled into one: You won't know what to expect or who or what you'll run into, but you'll have one heckuva time and a great sound track to boot. Along with an assorted cast of loons, near loons, and loons who aren't really loons but instead are just confused loons in need of wisdom (and maybe a few good friends). But there's more...

androids, cute poochies, amorous beings , orange gelatin, egomaniacs, and a poor soul who just wants to play music with his bandmates - what could this possibly all mean?

Please move your tray to the upright position, fasten your seatbelt, sit back and read Milky Way Marmalade. You are about to embark on an amazing journey of insight, hindsight, inside out sight and everything in between.

...One upcoming release by them is sure to have you either laughing loudly or tossing the book out the nearest window. The title of this new novel is Milky Way Marmalade and was written by Mike Dicerto. This story is as much about rock and roll as it is about galactic travel and mischief. Dicerto has a certain way of looking at things that makes this story appealing to those sci-fi fans who like Douglas Adams tales of the universe or other quirky tales of both the cosmos and time travel. Caffrey Quark is a guy who has a interesting job. At least to some people. He is rather bored with it and wants to retire. Quark is what is known as an exotic meat collector. He collects piece of animals and other beings to be auctioned off for eating of such delicacies as alien butt. Quark comes across an ancient juke box and it changes his life. Up till now, music has been an abhorrence in his life. All of a sudden, finding this jukebox with a record containing Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven is something that has cosmic ramifications for him. Caffrey sells his ship and sets out on a course to change his life. This is done over many objections from his onboard computer Angie. She sort of reminds me of an oversexed Rommie from Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda (but I just finished reviewing several episodes of that show, so who knows). Our guy gets to travel back in time to the late 20th century and hang out in the East Village, a definite strange place, or so I've been told. Caffrey is now going to embark on a new career as a rock musician. But wait. Caffrey had some weird, eccentric uncle named Greppledick who created an android called Poe 33. Supposedly Poe 33 was designed as the Portsmith for the great universal substance known as L'Orange. Somehow Poe has gotten untethered from L'Orange. He will need the assistance of Caffrey to get back to L'Orange, which the author describes as "a cube of orange colored gelatin the size of an average throw pillow." Caffrey declines the offer to help out Poe 33 until one of the members of his rock band gets kidnapped. The Order Determined to overthrow Reality (O.D.O.R.) has a devious plan. But just when it couldn't get any weirder, the book does just that. A little dog that Caffrey brings with him on this jaunt ends up being an alien agent. Can Caffrey rid himself of this pesky terrier, get his friend back and hook Poe 33 up with his gelatin galactic guru? If I told you, they'd have to kill me. Milky Way Marmalade is a quirky, funny tale from someone who is both a little twisted and extremely talented. The chapter headings are especially cool as they are lyrics from some of my favorite rock songs. Having been a teenager in the `70's, these tunes, and this book, have more of a meaning than just a CD of classic rock songs...

Milky Way Marmalade by Mike DiCerto is an unusual and whimsical science fiction adventure that brings together a collector of exotic meats, a blue android, a purple-eyed woman, a dog with a secret, a bizarre quest to save the Wisest Substance in the Universe (known as the mythical L'Orange), and perhaps also all life as well. A loopy, riotous, and high-spirited, original space romp, Milky Way Marmalade is a lot of fun and documents author Mike DiCerto as someone to keep track of!

Reviewed by Walter Ihlefield

There is an Ultimate Being. An entity containing the knowledge of the Universe. The past, present and future. All actions, thoughts, creatures, events, places and potentials are contained in this Entity. It is the Akashic Records, the Philosopher's Stone, the Universal Hologram, or whatever name you wish to apply to it. "I am the music, but I did not write the song," it claims. It is everything that has been or ever will be. It is "L'Orange." A cube of orange colored gelatin the size of an average throw pillow.

The year is 3265. Caffrey Trinesmart Quark, II, is a "procurer" of exotic foods found throughout the Universe. He traverses the galaxies in his ship, The Moby Dick, in search of the most profitable, and most times, not easily obtained food stuffs. But he tires of the constant killing of the exotics for the satisfaction of the wealthy glutinous beings, even though the pay is good enough to keep him and his ship traveling through space, with stops in places like Desmitten, where the food is wonderfully enticing.

As he ponders his future, he discovers an ancient jukebox floating in space and retrieves it from the depths of the Universe. With trial and error, and educated guesses, he effects repair of the machine and is able to hear the sounds of 20th Century Earth. (Long ago destroyed by war, greed, self-indulgence and general neglect.) Sounds of the `60's and `70's blare out from the ancient speaker. Joplin, Hendrix, the Stones, The Beatles, etc. His life suddenly has a new drive. A new passion. He determines to end his traipsing through the Universe and retire. To 20th Century Earth.

The android Poe 33, Portsmith (protector and companion) to the Great Wise One, has become separated from his charge and must find the blood kin of his own creator to receive instructions. That just happens to be Caffrey Quark. The Universe is at risk, for there is an entity wishing to capture L'Orange in order to make changes that would reflect its own desires throughout Space. Poe 33 explains his plight to Caffrey and finds his situation of no interest to the Earth-bound space traveler. Caffrey Quark is content on 20th Century Earth, caring for his dog and playing music with his band, "Marmalade Skies." Then his band members are captured and sent to a space craft, their essence living in a small glass bubble. Caffrey is attacked by his aloe-vera plant and the "game is afoot."

Violet, a woman with purple eyes and a member of O.T.H.E.R. (Order To Harmonize Eternal Reality) explains to Caffrey that Nefarious Wretch is out to destroy all harmony in the Universe. They must battle O.D.O.R. (Order Determined to Overthrow Reality), Spydersloth Blaust and Nefarious Wretch to preserve the single thread holding the Universe together; music.

So Caffrey, Violet, Poe 33, Angie (Caffrey's on-board computer whose love for Caffrey is more than programming), Greppledick Quark (Caffrey's uncle and the creator of Poe 33), and Yin (Caffrey's dog, but not a dog), set out aboard The Moby Dick to rescue the Universe and his band members.

They come to grips with evil-doers bent on using L'Orange to remold the Universe into an existence devoid of music, rhythm, voices raised on high, and generally anything containing a beat. Including accordions and pan flutes. (Imagine that!) The most threatening adversary is the Nefarious Wretch. But Spydersloth Blaust must be dealt with first. Worlds are being sucked into black holes to show the power of the non-musicals and to rid the sectors of melody.

"Milky Way Marmalade" is a time/space adventure, a Spiritual journey, and a tongue-in-cheek satire bringing truth to the basics. And bringing the basics to the surface, revealing the Truth of the Universe. It's a chase of good versus evil with humor. It's impossible to narrow down to one Genre. It's a must-read. Trust me on this one. "Milky Way Marmalade" will have you laughing out loud. And pondering the possibilities.

When comparing this work to the many examples of the written art we call "novels," I find nothing like it. I find no reference by which to judge it. So I will start the bidding at five Fender Stratocasters. And a hardy "well done."

You have to love any book that starts out with this as its first line...

"The universe, I once noted, is not only stranger than you can imagine, it secretly dresses in studded-leather feetie pajamas and spiked fuchsia pasties." "Milky Way Marmalade" is a sweet treat, that will make you smile, wonder, and laugh out loud. It's filled with wacky characters with strange names and a very human hero named Caffrey Quark. After reading this tale, you will never look at a West Highland White Terrier in the same way.

Congratulations Mike DiCerto on a job well done. A hilarious story with very serious undertones. Who knew that rock music would one day save the universe? This is a wonderful book by a very talented author. When is the next book coming out? I didn't want this one to end.

DiCerto's MILKY WAY MARMALADE is a hilarious SF romp that should delight fans of Douglas Adams, RED DWARF, Monty Python's Flying Circus and classic rock. If you've always wanted to read a roller coaster adventure that pays tribute to Rush, The Rolling Stones, The Who and dozens of other bands, this is the book for you! I laughed out loud several times, and I loved the characters, especially Uncle Grapppledick and the android Poe 33. Quark Caffrey is a great hero, and DiCerto puts him through his paces--and his guitar licks. Jump on the bandwagon now, or Nefarious Wretch will deny you something wonderful.

a GREAT space adventure story with as many layers, rinds, and soundtracks as you care to find and listen to. With classic rock songs as chapter titles, the book is practically "multi-media". As deep as it is silly. It's hard to describe the experience and context of the book: Dr. Seuss vs. Fascists? Indiana Jones vs. Darth Vader? Music vs. muzak? Breakfast condiments as vessels of wisdom? Captain Kirk with an afro and electric guitar? Hamlet on triple the acid? A Monty Python Celestine Propecy? An ode to an era of music that was pure, evocative, powerful, HUMAN, timeless? It's a lot of stuff; fun and serious, very rich. Very worth my time, and I highly recommend it.

There is an Ultimate Being. An entity containing the knowledge of the Universe. The past, present and future. All actions, thoughts, creatures, events, places and potentials are contained in this Entity. It is the Akashic Records, the Philosopher?s Stone, the Universal Hologram, or whatever name you wish to apply to it. "I am the music, but I did not write the song," it claims. It is everything that has been or ever will be. It is "L?Orange." A cube of orange colored gelatin the size of an average throw pillow.

The year is 3265. Caffrey Trinesmart Quark, II, is a "procurer" of exotic foods found throughout the Universe. He traverses the galaxies in his ship, The Moby Dick, in search of the most profitable, and most times, not easily obtained food stuffs. But he tires of the constant killing of the exotics for the satisfaction of the wealthy glutinous beings, even though the pay is good enough to keep him and his ship traveling through space, with stops in places like Desmitten, where the food is wonderfully enticing.

As he ponders his future, he discovers an ancient jukebox floating in space and retrieves it from the depths of the Universe. With trial and error, and educated guesses, he effects repair of the machine and is able to hear the sounds of 20th Century Earth. (Long ago destroyed by war, greed, self-indulgence and general neglect.) Sounds of the ?60?s and ?70?s blare out from the ancient speaker. Joplin, Hendrix, the Stones, The Beatles, etc. His life suddenly has a new drive. A new passion. He determines to end his traipsing through the Universe and retire. To 20th Century Earth.

The android Poe 33, Portsmith (protector and companion) to the Great Wise One, has become separated from his charge and must find the blood kin of his own creator to receive instructions. That just happens to be Caffrey Quark. The Universe is at risk, for there is an entity wishing to capture L?Orange in order to make changes that would reflect its own desires throughout Space. Poe 33 explains his plight to Caffrey and finds his situation of no interest to the Earth-bound space traveler. Caffrey Quark is content on 20th Century Earth, caring for his dog and playing music with his band, "Marmalade Skies." Then his band members are captured and sent to a space craft, their essence living in a small glass bubble. Caffrey is attacked by his aloe-vera plant and the "game is afoot."

Violet, a woman with purple eyes and a member of O.T.H.E.R. (Order To Harmonize Eternal Reality) explains to Caffrey that Nefarious Wretch is out to destroy all harmony in the Universe. They must battle O.D.O.R. (Order Determined to Overthrow Reality), Spydersloth Blaust and Nefarious Wretch to preserve the single thread holding the Universe together; music.

So Caffrey, Violet, Poe 33, Angie (Caffrey?s on-board computer whose love for Caffrey is more than programming), Greppledick Quark (Caffrey?s uncle and the creator of Poe 33), and Yin (Caffrey?s dog, but not a dog), set out aboard The Moby Dick to rescue the Universe and his band members.

They come to grips with evil-doers bent on using L?Orange to remold the Universe into an existence devoid of music, rhythm, voices raised on high, and generally anything containing a beat. Including accordions and pan flutes. (Imagine that!) The most threatening adversary is the Nefarious Wretch. But Spydersloth Blaust must be dealt with first. Worlds are being sucked into black holes to show the power of the non-musicals and to rid the sectors of melody.

"Milky Way Marmalade" is a time/space adventure, a Spiritual journey, and a tongue-in-cheek satire bringing truth to the basics. And bringing the basics to the surface, revealing the Truth of the Universe. It?s a chase of good versus evil with humor. It?s impossible to narrow down to one Genre. It?s a must-read. Trust me on this one. "Milky Way Marmalade" will have you laughing out loud. And pondering the possibilities.

When comparing this work to the many examples of the written art we call "novels," I find nothing like it. I find no reference by which to judge it. So I will start the bidding at five Fender Stratocasters. And a hardy "well done."
Bruce

"Milky way Marmalade" is a rather strange science fiction book. I liked it, and I enjoyed the style in which it was written. All in all, I can honestly said that I have never read something like it :)

Do you want some clues about why on earth I say that?. Well, I suppose I could start by telling you something about the plot. The main character is Caffrey Quark, a young man who sells exotic meat, and looks for unusual specimens all throughout the galaxy. Truth to be told, that business isn't an easy one: "The exotic meat collecting business relied on place and time. It relied on punctuality, and an encyclopedic knowledge of galactic fauna and their individual mating, scavenging, migrating, hibernating, hunting and dying habits. But perhaps more importantly, success in the business relied upon the planet containing the exotic edible to have the decency to be there when one arrived". That kind of job can be tiring after a while, specially for a sensitive man like Caffrey, who eventually decides he cannot go on killing "miracles of diversity", and decides to retire.

Caffrey doesn't know exactly what he is going to do, but destiny has something prepared for him... As he is travelling in his spaceship, "The Moby Dick", he finds an old box with Earth music, including "The Rollings Stones"'s "Satisfaction" and "Stairway to heaven" by Led Zeppelin. When Caffrey listens to those songs he receives a great shock, due to the fact that the music he knew was pretty boring, and nowhere nearly as good as that. Caffrey becomes obsessed with finding more of the music that has "kick-started his soul", and as a result ends up selling his spaceship and buying a transport with a "temporal twist engine" that takes him to the "original" Earth, in the past, "in a time where its future still held potential". There he goes to many live shows of Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Yes and Genesis, among others, but also forms a rock band named "Marmalade skies".

Things were going too well to last, though, and soon enough people from his previous life will meddle in his new one, kidnapping his four bandmates, and forcing him in a quest for "L'Orange", the most important substance in the universe. Caffrey, a more or less normal man in bizarre circumstances, will be accompanied in his quest by Poe 33 (a robot who was supposed to take care of "L'Orange", but that seemingly lost it), his recovered spaceship,Angie (a very disgruntled main computer), a dog that is not a dog and Violet.

Why is Caffrey's quest important?. Simply because "L'Orange" can shape the universe, and there are people who want to shape one without music. As our unlikely hero understand that he goes from someone who says "I wish I understood my role in this little soap opera" to a person willing to do almost everything to save a world that has a place for the music he loves so much.

On the whole, I think that if you like science fiction and rock music, you will really appreciate "Milky way Marmalade", an unusual combination of both.

Belen Alcat