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15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Either you'll hate it or love it...I loved it.
~Reviewed by ANGELA & posted at Under the Covers Book Blog

When I was offered to review this book, naturally, I had to look it up on Goodreads before accepting. From what I can see, readers either hated it or truly loved it. There were a few negative reviews ... but instead of deterring me it actually intrigued me. So thanks to those reviews, I took on the...
Published 18 months ago by Under The Covers Book Blog

versus
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sounds like another diary of a horny teen ...
I got an ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All I have to say is THANK GOD it was FREE!

This started out as an interesting if not very original (virgin and a billionaire ... you get where I am going with this?) concept and just went downhill from there.

Just FYI: if you ARE a fan of 50 Shades or Bared to You, do yourself...
Published 15 months ago by ~*Irene*~


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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sounds like another diary of a horny teen ..., November 12, 2013
I got an ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All I have to say is THANK GOD it was FREE!

This started out as an interesting if not very original (virgin and a billionaire ... you get where I am going with this?) concept and just went downhill from there.

Just FYI: if you ARE a fan of 50 Shades or Bared to You, do yourself a favor and AVOID this!

Dear author,

Using terms like "Double Agent Coochie" and "Wonder Peen" when referring to one's genitalia is not sexy OR funny. It sounds like something two 5 year olds would say to one another while playing in a sandbox. I am not sure what possessed you to use this terminology (MULTIPLE TIMES!) but, for the love of God, please DON'T in the future. Try and remember that less is more as in "it's quite alright to use words like "c**k" & "pu**y" when trying to write a sexy book"!

Sincerely,

A reader who is still trying to figure out WHY anyone would do that!
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15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Either you'll hate it or love it...I loved it., August 27, 2013
This review is from: A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet (Paperback)
~Reviewed by ANGELA & posted at Under the Covers Book Blog

When I was offered to review this book, naturally, I had to look it up on Goodreads before accepting. From what I can see, readers either hated it or truly loved it. There were a few negative reviews ... but instead of deterring me it actually intrigued me. So thanks to those reviews, I took on the task....Well, I loved it!

I have to be honest though. The beginning of this story was a bit bothersome but as I read on, it became tolerable, to scorching hot, to "what-was-it-that-bothered me again?" See, Delaine's mother is critically ill and not only that she is slowly deteriorating; this ordeal is taking a toll on her father as well. Being in desperation, she took the plunge and sold herself into a two year contract to be a sex slave. Usually sex slavery or selling one's self is not my cuppa but what helped me overcome this was that it wasn't drilled over and over. There was no whining about it. Delaine simply sucked it up (pun) and went about her task. But then again, with a man like Noah, you would just forget about everything.

This book was written in both Noah and Delaine's point of view , so you were able to see what they were thinking about and witness their feelings grow. Their romance was unconventional, but once they fell in love, I thought it was sweet and dreamy.

Delaine's thoughts had me laugh out loud so many times. She had outrageous terms for body parts and her thoughts sometimes were silly but funny none the less. She reminded me of some PNR heroines who are snarky, has hilarious comebacks and banters. I'm actually glad she had this personality. She wasn't somber or depressing to read about instead I found her thoughts refreshing.

Noah on the other hand was more on the serious and on the horny side of things. This guy was insatiable. His purpose for purchasing Delaine was pure mechanical. He was to have his way, in any way, without any emotional attachments. Well, can that really happen in a two year contract? Especially if they are both attracted to each other? Nah, he should've known better. But then because he was hurt bad before, I guess I can understand his reasons. Don't get me wrong, Noah wasn't all about business, he had a funny side too. He can be sweet if he wanted to and most definitely sexy. And talk of which, this book had plenty of steamy scenes that had me fanning for air. Yeah, Ms. Parker can write them pretty well. She may have written the best BJ lesson scene for 2013.

This is my first I've read from Ms. Parker and from what I can see, she has a good grip on what an entertaining read is. I was definitely captivated with her characters and scenes that had me reading from one page to the next. I know plenty of people were turned off with Delaine's decision to trap herself in this contract. As a daughter, I can tell you that I wouldn't mind making that sacrifice. And as a mother, I would rather die than to let my daughter do such a thing. But I took this novel for the fiction that it is and enjoyed my read. I do have to mention that I was a bit surprised that this was a fan fic based novel. I was even more shocked that Ms. Parker admits it and gives recognition to the person that inspired her. She didn't try to hide it like a few I've known and for that.....I give her credit.

*ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review
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16 of 22 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Always Immature and Often Offensive, September 18, 2013
By 
Janet Morris (Huntsville, AL USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet (Paperback)
I received an ARC from the publisher of A Million Dirty Secrets through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program in exchange for an honest review.

Here's yet another book that was previously Twilight fanfiction. This is perhaps the worst in that group that I have read so far. The book is marketed as being a cross between Pretty Woman and Fifty Shades of Gray, but it isn't. If it were, it might be somewhat more tolerable. Instead it just feels like something you should take a shower after even looking at. I don't understand why any publishing house would want to put their names on something this awful. Parts of it are extremely offensive. The whole story doesn't even seem good enough to make it a popular piece of fanfiction.

The idea is interesting: a woman in desperate need of money selling herself into sexual slavery and being purchased for $2 million by a man with commitment issues. Unfortunately, it wasn't interesting enough to help my feelings about this book. In fact, the idea itself kind of bugged me. The auction scene reminded me of a similar scene in Taken. Then there's a mention of a vampire show that they're watching, and I'm pretty sure that they're talking about True Blood because the scene sounds like one from it. With the book already being based on another person's work, the ripping off of even more entities just became too much for me at certain points.

The characters were extremely immature, especially Lanie. From her actions to the narrative voice of her chapters, she comes across as about 13 years old--at the oldest. The good part is that Noah is slightly more mature. Unfortunately, neither character seems to be adult enough to be in any sort of relationship. I guess that makes sense since technically they aren't in a true dating relationship, but even if you think of it as a business relationship or a sex slave/master relationship, their attitudes still come off as childish. The interactions between Lanie and Noah seemed forced, as does their growing "love" for one another.

It is hard for me to believe that Lanie is so close to her parents, yet she seems to lack the ability or desire to talk to them. She could at least call them from time to time, especially if her mom is as sick as she is described as being. Maybe it's just me, but if my mom was that sick, then I would want to stay in contact with her. She wouldn't have to tell her mom about her being a sex slave, but it seems like if her mom was in such a precarious health situation that maybe she might feel a little like she needed to check up on her.

It is an easy read, if you can get past the offensive nature, the constant slut-shaming, the childish behaviors, and the feeling like so many people are being ripped off, including the readers. I wanted to quit reading it several times, but I just couldn't. Why? Because the awful nature of the book makes it intriguing. It's kind of like watching bad science fiction movies just so that you can laugh at how bad they are. And as bad as this book is, I'm actually interested in reading its sequel. I don't expect it to be better. In fact, I expect it to get worse, but the train wreck that is this novel is just so fascinating. I won't buy it because I don't want to waste money on a book that I know will suck.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A familiar theme..., August 27, 2013
This review is from: A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet (Paperback)
This is a theme that is so very overdone right now... and even though it's not a bad story or even badly written... it's just a bit tired... especially for those of us who are ready to move on to something new. But, if you are still wanting to walk down the whole Billionaire/virgin/I own you road... then this should do the trick. There are plenty of sexy steamy moments to keep you entertained.
Even though Noah bought Delaine at an auction and they are supposed to have this sort of business arrangement... it doesn't take long to get a little confused as to who owns whom after a while... and that part was very amusing and entertaining.
At the end of the day... even though they both went into this deal with pre-conceived notions.. they both quickly realize that you can't control how you truly feel and who you are at the core. And, that part of the story was nice.
I did not like the immature tone of the language throughout the book... the whole Agent Coochie and Wonder Peen talk was a little annoying and overdone. But, that all depends on your sense of humor and what you like I guess.
I am curious to see what happens in book two so I'll definitely finish out this series. Curiosity is a weakness of mine... and I think that book two will probably be more interesting since we will be moving away from the whole I own you scenario and possibly moving into a real relationship.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Cheeky, immature and sweet. It's an unexpected surprise!, August 27, 2013
What the blurb on the cover said: For fans of Fifty Shades of Grey and Bared to You comes a wickedly erotic new novel of innocence, desire, and unbridled pleasure.

What I say: If those books had a quirky endearing quality with some Beautiful Bastard thrown in.

Too be truthful when I first began A Million Dirty Secrets I wasn't really taken with this book. It seemed a bit immature and done.

Beautiful Multimillionaire - check
Virgin - check
Paid to be at my beckoned call - check

But what hadn't been done before was a witty strong minded girl who is doing this for unselfish reasons and not taking any s--- from her purchaser. Not laying down and taking it (pun intended) like a good little subservient. Oh heck no. She takes him by the balls and you wonder just who owns who here.

Noah and Delanie have a funny sexy back and forth that just pulls the reader in. It is cheeky and immature. All consuming and sweet. It's an unexpected surprise and I am happy to have given it a chance. My only negative was the cliff hanger but the "Million Dollar Duet" in the title should have clued me in from the get go. Definitely adding A Million Dirty Secrets to my guilty pleasures list.

Solid 4 STARS
T~
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14 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Unbelievably Good, August 27, 2013
By 
This story took a minute to draw me in, but once it did, I ended up reading it in one sitting because it wouldn't let me go! I really enjoyed how the characters are with each other and feel they make a really good match. They are both so mouthy, both so stubborn and both so inexplicably drawn to each other that I found myself grinning like the Cheshire Cat through 90% of the book. The only downside... it does leave off on a bit of a cliffhanger. Which of course made me run straight to NetGalley to see if the second book was there yet. Sadly it's not so I am going to have to wait. But make no mistake, I will be reading book 2 and seriously hope C.L. makes it as amazing as this on was! I received an ARC from NetGalley for an honest review.
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8 of 11 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars LITERAL ADDICTION's Review of A Million Dirty Secrets, August 27, 2013
This review is from: A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet (Paperback)
Our Review, by LITERAL ADDICTION's Pack Alpha - Michelle L. Olson:
*Copy gifted for an honest review

Since the blurb markets the book for fans of Fifty Shades of Gray and Bared to You, I feel like I need to start my review with a confession... I absolutely hated Fifty Shades, and I didn't finish Bared to You because I just couldn't get into it. Being a fan of horror, urban fantasy, paranormal romance, paranormal erotica, & some romantic suspense, I simply figured that straight erotic romance just wasn't my thing. With that all said, I'm not sure how useful my input will be, but I'll tell you what I thought and let you go from there...

Some of you may know from reading other reviews and things that this started out several years ago as Twilight FanFic. What I want to say first off is to forget that you ever heard that. This is simply a steamy erotic romance that happens to be on the same highway as Fifty Shades and the others who have followed in its wake, but it's its own beautiful creature and should be viewed and judged as such.

The concept is a familiar one - twenty-something virgin hooks up with hot billionaire business tycoon for hot sex. What it has in addition, however, is a moving baseline story for our heroine which makes her decision to enter into the contract entirely selfless and heartfelt, and a catalyst for our hero that makes you want nothing more than for him to find his zen and mend is previously shattered heart. What really set the book apart were the characters and their growth, both individually and toward one another - Noah starts out as a class A Alpha-hole (albeit a super sexy one), and independent, determined Lanie goes a little bit crazy mid book, but despite it all, their chemistry is page melting, and their dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny at times.

Having read & loved C.L's Paranormal series (THE SUPERNOVA SAGA), hosted her several times on the website, and talked with her for years online, I know her personality, and it shines through like a beacon in this book - in the best of ways! Her wit, snark, and absolute abandon, compiled with her evident lust for life (and lust in general. Hee hee) make for some fabulous reading material, and a lightness in a book that could easily get much too heavy with the amount of sex and drama. And the nicknames... Yeah, gotta love it! :) Life's too short to be so damn serious, right!?

Now here's where I'm probably not much help... The eroticism was smokin' and there was PLENTY of it, but because I don't read these kind of books regularly, I'm not sure if it was enough, just right, or over the top. I felt it fit (from what I know of what fans of the genre generally look for) and even though I personally skimmed some parts (yeah, I get a little shy...), it was wicked sexy and fun at the same time.

This is book #1 of a Duet, so it does end on a pretty big cliff hanger, but the next book will be out before we know it. :)

In short, would I recommend A Million Dirty Secrets to erotic romance lovers who started out as fans of Fifty Shades, Bared to You, Wallbanger, etc? Absolutely!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So Good, November 17, 2013
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Well written! Started a little sketchy-not sure then BAM! Sexy and sooo hot! Can't wait for next book! Hurry please!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful, wonderful., November 12, 2013
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I read a lot. I laughed, and felt emotional in spots and could not put this book down. Sexy as he'll too.
I can't wait for then next book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars 5 stars! A Million Dirty Secrets, book 1 (2). Noah Crawford, sex-god extraordinaire story of his fall into whopped!, November 7, 2013
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"I was a slave to it, which was ironic since she was supposed to be my slave. She played her part well, make no mistake, but that little p~ sy of hers owned me. And I didn't mind one motherf~ k ing bit."

Books in Million Dollar Duet should be read in order:
Book 1: A Million Dirty Secrets
Book 2: A Million Guilty Pleasures

In A Million Dirty Secrets we meet Delaine Talbot, Laine a middleclass girl who instead of attending college stayed home to take care of her terminally ill mother. Through a friend she hears of an underground auction where you can sell yourself as a sex slave. So to help with medical bills and her mother's heart transplant she offers her virginity and two years of her life to the highest bidder. Under the pretense of attending College on a scholarship she sets out on her journey.

Noah Crawford grew up privileged. He was the prodigal son and heir to a fortune. But his parent's untimely death not only left him feeling at blame, but burdened him with the responsibility, at age 22, of taking over Scarlet Lotus. For the past six years he has been fighting to keep control with his arch enemy doing everything to sabotage including having sex with his fiancé in his home. He is disillusioned and lonely... and h~rny. When he hears of the auction he feels it'd be the perfect solution for a safe no strings-attached sexual relationship.

After the auction Laine cannot believe her luck and the handsome, well-endowed rich young man who just purchased her, but when he orders her to give him a bl~ w job she does what any sensible virgin would do - she accidently bites him... Noah is instantly attracted and turned on by Delaine and as much as it shouldn't her snarky attitude only turns him on more.

A Million Dirty Secrets follows them as Noah sets out to educate Laine about sex while he raises walls around himself with rules and a bossy attitude. And soon his guilt creeps in. Laine is resentful of her situation and frustrated with herself for her attraction to Noah and her enjoyment of everything that is sex with Noah.

Needless to say they both have lots to come to terms with and much to overcome. Prepare yourself for a bumpy ride with lots of mind-blowing sex, witty bantering as these two very strong personalities go head-to-head fighting their attraction every step of the way!
"I'd hoped taking her virginity in midcl~ m~ax would make it easier, but I couldn't tell if it actually had. I mean, I had mirrors. I knew how big my c~ ck was."

HERO: Noah Patrick Crawford/28 years/Owner/CEO Scarlet Lotus/dark brown hair/hazel/heir/orphan.
Noah Patrick Crawford is everything I could ever ask for in a hero. In his POV we are treated to his wit and sarcasm that both endeared and entertained me. A larger-than life hero! Ten words to describe Noah: Captivating, jaded, sexy, witty, flawed, reflective, elusive, bossy, possessive and unforgettable.
"When Noah Crawford wanted something, you couldn't bat a lash around him or you were going to miss seeing how he got it. Not that I was complaining or anything."

HEROINE: Delaine Marie Talbot, Laine/24 years/caretaker-sex slave/blond hair/blue eyes/virgin.
Delaine Marie Talbot, Laine initially came across a bit too corky with her nicknames for private parts. But after a few chapters it worked. Or maybe it was just overshadowed by everything that is Noah. Five words to describe Laine: Loyal, unselfish, smart, feisty and adaptable.
"She was going to be mega-p~ sed. For me, that translated into another epic sexcapade. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Triple whammy."

Captivating! I was glued to the pages, not wanting story to end. Book 1 left us with a cliffy. Story will conclude in book 2, A Million Guilty Pleasures.

Entertaining plot! Effortless writing! Scorching sex scenes! But above all an unforgettable, larger-than-life hero, Noah Crawford!
"I realized how truly inexperienced and foolish I really was, a small-town girl attempting to play in the major leagues with a man who was larger than life itself."

***
Hero rating: 5+ stars
Heroine rating: 3.5-4 stars
Sex scenes rating: 5+ stars
Sex scenes frequency: 5 stars
Storyline concept rating: 5 stars
Storytelling skills rating: 5 stars
Story ending rating: N/A
Book editing rating (5 = no edits spotted): 4.5 stars
************************************************
Overall rating: 5+ stars

Would I recommend this series: Yes.
Would I re-read this series: Yes.
Would I read future books by this author: Yes.
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A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet
A Million Dirty Secrets: Million Dollar Duet by C. L. Parker (Paperback - August 27, 2013)
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