Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections [Hardcover]

Henry Grayson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 24, 2003

In this groundbreaking book based on his bestselling audio teaching series, a distinguished psychologist shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones.

"Every time we think, we set into motion the entire creative mechanism. Love is not so much an emotion as it is a conscious, willful decision we make."

Dr. Henry Grayson puts aside the traditional methods of family counseling to show you how to look at your relationships from an entirely different perspective. Combining Western psychology, Eastern philosophy, a variety of spiritual traditions, and today's newest current in scientific thinking, Grayson guides you through ten simple but specific and effective practices, and shares crucial insights about:

* The power of thought to heal our relationships and ourselves
* How to break the vicious cycle of interaction that traps us in patterns of resentment and isolation
* How to change our core beliefs by making perceptual shifts that end suffering
* The six forms of counterfeit love and nine barriers to love
* Unblocking the flow of love and choosing love over fear
* Creating a spiritual marriage rather than an ego-based marriage
* The ten characteristics of empowering love

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychologist Grayson here explains why happiness in relationships lies in the ability of the participants to engage in a spiritual marriage, a theory he established in The New Physics of Love, the audio series on which this book is based. During a lecture Grayson attended on the parallels between new physics and ancient mystical thought, he became convinced that mind, energy and matter intimately connect all humans and all living beings together-a concept he deemed to have great consequence for improving relationships. Most marriages are ego-based and characterized by partners who want gratification, pleasure and security from each other, he says; if our desires are not met, we attempt to change our partner's behavior, which can create a downward spiral of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Grayson believes that conflict will dissipate and marriages will grow when husbands and wives surrender their egos. He describes, for example, how a wife's hostile fantasies towards her husband were a factor in his verbal abuse of her. When the woman began to think of her husband as the man she loved, he stopped attacking her with words. Put into practice, a spiritual marriage requires that unconditional love be given without the expectation of receiving anything in return. Included are ten ways to overcome obstacles to achieving a spiritual marriage, including how to change negative core beliefs, unblock the flow of love and meditate to quiet the mind. Although Grayson is obviously sincere, his focus on unconditional love even in the face of abuse may strike some as unrealistic.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Mindful Loving is a powerfully insightful book on relationships that will bring new understanding to those who face relationship problems. (Gerald G. Jampolsky, author of Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All and Love Is Letting Go of Fear)

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Gotham (April 24, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592400264
• ISBN-13: 978-1592400263
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #532,940 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Comments from the Spiritual Reviewer, June 2, 2003

By 

BigHeart (Center Harbor, NH United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections (Hardcover)

Finally a book about how to be love rather than how to get love! Oh the difference. Instead of looking to significant others to make us feel complete, whole, and happy, we learn how to do this by ourselves for ourselves. 10 powerful ideas for becoming a more loving being are offered. Even more importantly, Mindful Loving teaches how to respond to life's challenges by thinking in a different way. This sounds like a small shift, but it's a major change in life perception.

Because spirituality and psychotherapy are perfectly blended, Mindful Loving should be required reading for every psychotherapist, every psychologist, every minister, or for anyone involved in talk therapy of any kind. Other books tend to use spirituality to support psychology, where spiritual principles are adapted, modified, or eliminated to make the point. This book is the other way around where psychology supports spirituality. The uncompromising nature of Mindful Loving makes it refreshing to read.

The only caution is that this is a very intellectual and heavy book which may not appeal to all. Also, Grayson could not resist including the predictable list of how love "should be." All in all, however, Mindful Loving is an excellent explanation of love with something of use for everyone. This book is rated 8 on a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high) by the spiritual reviewer. This unusually high rating designates Mindful Loving as "a classic."

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific reading!, July 4, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Mindful Loving (Paperback)

I am a divorcee who is presently working on a new relationship. I recently picked up this book and finally began understanding why I had such difficulties in my former marriage and how I can change myself to develop a deeper meaningful relationship with my partner. Until reading this book, I only saw what was on the surface and was blind to all of the hidden feelings, insecurities and intentions that we both had. After reading this book as well as another really fantastic book called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato, I finally am beginning to see these things. They are both terrific books! I am extremely thankful to these authors who have helped me see myself and the world so much clearer than before. I will try to use this new knowledge to grow together with my new partner in a positive way. Thank you!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars grayson, April 21, 2011

By 

butter - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Mindful Loving (Paperback)

This is an incredible book. I would recommend it to anyone, and have bought it many times for friends. it is one of the most helpful books ive ever read, andthe book gives solid, techniques to aid in healing, such as EMDR. I also recommend his audio with Sounds True.
I also got it very quickly. My only complaint is, as far as I know they didnt say that someone underlined many portions of the book. That could be my fault, I didnt look closely, so that being said - I would not have bought it if I knew that, as I have a problem with it as I find someone elses notes and underlines distracting. I also wanted to give it as a gift, and now I cant. I did not see this mentioned. I cant afford to give "new" books as gifts, which is why i buy the used ones. so that part was very dissapointing. other than that -- quick service, great book, excellent price.