Customer Reviews

Minotaur

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Theseus is pretty much a forgotten figure when it comes to Hollywood movies based on Greek mythology. You are more likely to find Theseus in a television series, especially if Hercules is the main character, or in a production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." There is a 1961 Italian film, "Teseo contro il minotauro," but that is just another forgotten "sword and sandals" beefcake film. Theseus is considered the greatest hero in Athenian history and while someday his story will be given the same treatment the Perseus ("Clash of the Titans"), Achilles ("Troy"), Odysseus ("The Odyssey"), and even Jason ("Jason and the Argonauts") have received, I am here to tell you that "Minotaur" is not that film. In the final analysis, this is not so much a bad film as one that is just not good.

First of all, if you were expecting this to be the story of Theseus, the young prince of Athens, who slew the Minotaur in the Labyrinth that Daedalus built for King Minos beneath his palace on the island of Crete, you are going to be sadly mistaken. First time screenwriters Nick Green and Stephen McDool set the story in the Iron Age, which means it smacks more of Robert E. Howard and the Hyborian Age of Conan the Barbarian than it does of the poet Homer and the Golden Age of Greece. So we are talking dark stone rather than white marble, or even the colorful frescoes from the Minoan palace at Knossos. Historically the Iron Age refers to the Dark Ages of Greece, which came after the dominance of the Mycenaeans, which extended beyond the High Minoan period that ended with Knossos being destroyed (specifically, iron tools are in use in Greece after 1050 BCE, while the Mycenaean take over of Knossos was four hundred years earlier).

Instead of Theseus, prince of Athens, we have Theo (Tom Hardy), the son of Cyrnan (Rutger Hauer), the ruler of the mud huts of Thena. Instead of King Minos we have Deucalion (Tony Todd), and instead of Ariadne or Phaedra, we have Raphaella (Michelle Van Der Water), Morna (Maime McCoy), and Didi (Lucy Brown). So, Theo also has a princess of sorts that is willing to betray her people to help him, but he also brings along his own future bride sort just to up the romantic elements on this one. Not that there is any time for that because what happens in this 2005 film is that it is explained that every three years Thena needs to send eight youths to be virgin sacrifices to the Minotaur and the next thing we know Theo and seven others have been captured and dumped into the Labyrinth to die, couple by couple.

This is where "Minotaur" clearly becomes a splatter flick. After all, the Minotaur has these giant curved horns and those are obviously perfect weapons for impaling the young men and women who are running around screaming (actually standing still and saying harsh things can find you skewered just as well). This means we are in standard splatter flick territory, with pretty looking young people running around trying not to get killed and failing miserably. The Labyrinth is not really a maze but rather your standard underground cavern system. More importantly, in terms of indicating we are clearly no longer in the realm of classical mythology, the Minotaur is just a monster bull, with big teeth and flayed skin, rather than a man with a bull's head. This despite a prologue running on about how the people wanted their god to be made flesh and had the queen of Minos breed with the deity to give birth to the Minotaur.

Consequently, "Minotaur" is so far removed from the mythology that continuing to complain that nothing is right is pointless since the myth of Theseus was reduced to a single sentence and then turned into a series of gory deaths. Instead I want to know how this monster bull keeps sneaking up on his victims. There is also an unnecessary modern touch in having the whole idea of sacrificing young people to the Minotaur be big lie intended to cover up the failure of the Minos government to create an acceptable god (just creating the monster makes the story work without adding political deception into the mix). But even by its own logic, this movie fails because whether the horns go through the body or the body falls on the horns, there are really not that many different ways of impaling young people. Final Note: Ingrid Pitt, who is fondly remembered from several Hammer films (she was the title character in "Countess Dracula") as well as being in "Where Eagles Dare," has a brief appearance early on as the soothsayer, and the fact that we do not recognize her is sad on at least two levels.

Upon finishing this movie, 2 questions come to mind: 1)WHY did they bother to make this?? and 2)HOW did the 2 idiots that wrote this moronic screenplay get any employment in the film industry?? For starters, why did they not make this closer to the legend and set it in ancient Greece instead of "the iron age"? I mean, "Theo" from the village of "Thena", sheesh! I know people today aren't as educated as they should be, but the writers display an absolute contempt for their audience that is unforgiveable. And did they think we would care about a bunch of annoying, 25 yr old "teenagers" who are apparently too mentally challenged to shut the hell up after the first one or two get killed because they wouldn't, well, shut the hell up? Did they think we were stupid enough to believe that? Not half as stupid as the writers who couldn't come up with anything better. And the saddest part is that this flick doesn't even have enough heart to be unintentionally funny. One would think the director would have fired the writers or at least tried to improve on the script, but, no. Apparently, the director had also suffered from oxygen deprivation in his youth.

Some have mentioned that this is a bigger budget cut above the typical sci-fi network production. Unfortunately, though they threw more money at it, they used the same, no-vision incompetents that make all their other pathetic movies, so they might as well have flushed that money down the toilet. Too bad, because the FX work on the monster was actually pretty decent. Interesting take on the minotaur, too (instead of a human body with a bull's head, it is a quadruped bull with deformed human-like features). Saying that this one is better than Sci-Fi's other movies is no compliment at all. There should be a law that all of their DVDs should be prominently marked as such. I have never seen even a halfway good movie come out of them. Not one. Every Sci-Fi channel movie is some dumbed down, retarded teen-filled mess trying to reach grade B status and failing miserably. WHY do they insist on making more?? I can't find anyone stupid enough to like them. This movie didn't even make a good beer and chips flick, it was too frustrating. What a waste of Rutger Hauer, Tony Todd, and Ingrid Pitt. Rent at your own risk, but don't say you weren't warned. And don't even think of buying it, if you value your self respect. Fifteen thumbs down.

Update, jan 2008: Please read the comments to my review in order to get the perspective of one of the screenwriters of this film. Upon reading Mr. Green's comments, I was going to delete this review, but I've decided to leave it just so people can read what one of the scriptwriters has to say, and so people can catch a glimpse of how this movie business sadly works all too often. Thank you.

This movie COULD have been cool. It doesn't take place in ancient Greece, but instead a weird kind of fantasy world where an evil "dark empire" (then again, is there ever a "bright, happy empire" that does terrible things?) captures people from villages in a Nordic realm to sacrifice to their god, the famed minotaur. The chieftain of one such village usually keeps his son out of this sacrificial practice, but the prince gets a message that his girlfriend (who was taken away) may still be alive in the labyrinth. So he sneaks aboard and enters the world of Minos. Oh yeah, by the way, the chief is played by Rutger Hauer. How did Hauer go from giving one of the best monologues in film history in "Blade Runner" to starring in five minutes of a bad Sci-Fi Channel original film?

This is where the movie gets flushed right down the crapper. You're introduced to the evil priest/king/ruler/big cheese/whatever guy of Minos. He sniffs some kind of drug thing from a skull, which was cool at first but gets stupid after the tenth time in five minutes.

"Ah, the sacrifices!" *sniff* "Send them to the cages!" *sniff* "They will suffer!" *sniff* "At the hands of the minotaur!" *sniff* "......." *sniff*

Then our beloved characters - who we care so much about at this point - are dumped into the labyrinth. Here's where things REALLY get stupid. Now, let's say you're in a labyrinth where you KNOW there's an evil monster hunting you down to kill you. Would you:

A) Be as quiet as possible so you can live to see another day.
B) Yell every word that leaves your mouth, allowing the minotaur to hear you and go after you.

You would pick A because you are what we call a "smart person." These characters, however, all pick B. Why? I have no idea. But there were many times during this movie when my friends and I were telling the characters to shut up. There's one humorous moment where a guy and girl are climbing out of the labyrinth and the minotaur appears below them. The minotaur is totally oblivious to their presense until - UNTIL - the girl SCREAMS!

The other big issue I had was that the minotaur doesn't really kill the people by chewing them up or trampling them. Half of the characters are killed by either: 1) falling on the minotaur's horn or 2) standing there in the open and letting the minotaur impale them. Remember the girl who gave away her position? She fell on the minotaur's horn. What's even more humorous is watching the minotaur wave its head trying to get the victim off. It seems more annoyed at its pray than hungry for them. It's a wonder this thing can eat any thing at all.

I was willing to give this movie a shot, but as usual everything's ruined by poor acting and a bad script. If you're really interested, you can turn it off after the first five minutes - you won't be missing anything after that. No, in fact, just pick up a guide to Greek myths at Barnes and Nobles and reread the minotaur legend. Whatever you picture going on in your head will be ten times better than this film.

Peplum meets splatterpunk meets heroics from the early Iron Age. Our hero's name is Theo rather than Thesius in this film. But that's allright (Theo means "God" in Greek). Most of the time he is simply called "the Shepherd"! That may seem odd to moderns. "Weren't shepherds peaceful guys that just sat around all day and watched the sheep graze and copulate?" Au contraire Black Adder! The shepherd was the ancient equivalent to the cowboy of the Old West. Like the biblical David, he was a rugged outdoorsman, and a fierce fighter. Got a giant bovine/human mutant bull-monster that needs slaying? Call a shepherd, the original badass!

A city worships the visage of the bull until they decide to birth a living god for themselves. so they take a female and feed her to the desires of their self-made god, and out comes a beast that hungers and that needs. In order to sate their creation, people are forced into the lair of the beast in order to make sure it stays happy and doesn't have to turn to Hot Pockets. It also has a sadism to it, and this is reflected in the chase it gives as it takes its hatred out on the people that come in little chains of food. One person decides to challenge this, however, and enters the maze of the minotaur in order to both find his missing loved one and to slay the beast. And so the horror begins.

First and foremost, if you watched this on television you have negated a lot of the movie. It becomes nothing but a chopped up variant of itself, and it will make you want to turn the channel. Next, forget for a second that there is a legend with a minotaur attached to it and that people know the name of the hero involved. Instead, look at this as a movie that embelishes and rewrites a things that never happened in the first place, and that makes a horrific thing live in a maze and consume people. Then envision the people and their fates and what great theatre that would make. That is how i see the city itself, with the fear it inflicts above reflected in the depths below. After that is done, imagine a thing that would be so horrid that you would be willing to take people and feed it whenever it hungers, knowing that it may get out of its maze and that it may come out and hunt yyour people.
The concept is a terrible affair.

While many people thought this movie was horrible, I liked it for a number of reasons. I left the knoowledge of the tales of yore at the doorstep, and I thought about the thing below. It was a horrible thing, too, and it had a stalking tendency that amounted to playing with its food. And why not - it is bigger than the bitten, more terrifying than anything people have ever seen, and it is tightly controlled by the sect that worships it to stay in power. This means that it would have amazing authority and that the name of the beast itself would evoke shutters in children and their older counterparts alike. Love is a strong thing, however, and love sends a person to challenge these assumptions about the thing that will not die. In this he assumes that it was born of man and that it can die as man, and so he enters the maze. And the drama that he saw above becomes a nightmare that he wasn't prepared for below.

If you like B-movies and can overlook certaain things, then this might be your thing. I personally liked it quite a bit and do not understand all the negative reactions to it. I could IF people watched the cut versions, but the thing in the DVD was horrific to me. The writers went with a monster-god, too, and did challenge the old stories with a new tale. Still, it worked for me and it might work for you as well. Just keep an open mind, enjoy the blood and the agony, and think of the place you are entering. It would be terrible and then some, to say the least.

The script and actors of this film were all amazing {considering the fact that most sci-fi thrillers are bad}.

The story begins with the birth of the minotaur its parents the queen of Minos and the bull god. As the beast grew so did its hunger and it killed the prince of Minos. To avoid letting the people knowing what happend they put a tax on the villages surrounding Minos- 8 youths must be sacrificed to the minotaur.

Theo the shephard adn 7 other youths go to Minos Theo only wanting to save his love Ffion finds that she is dead and he must kill the bull.

So the deaths of the movie were graphic except the 2nd death horrible cgi.

If u want to buy this movie make sure you get fullscreen :}

Alright, looking at this just as a movie, it has a bad story, b actors, and everything else you would expect in a low-budget Scifi channel movie, but looking at it from a scifi movie perspective...it is very impressive, this is a big leap from your average scifi channel saturday feature. The CGI is just great, it probably amounts up to a big-budget movie. Great job scifi.

For being a 2005 release, this film relies far, far too heavily upon the imagination of the viewer, and is a safe film for anybody to watch in any company unless they are given nightmares by their own conjuring because of how limited the special effects were. Lame film. I am unimpressed, and even though I recently viewed this film, I don't recall nudity to qualify an "R" rating. This apparently was unabashedly aimed at preteens, and marketed with a little employment of exaggeration. The premise is a group of teenage village youths who are thrown into a maze-like dungeon where a Minotaur kills and eats whatever it finds. Ultimately the palace priest and priestess fight amongst themselves and give the new batch of incoming village youths an opportunity to overthrow the palace and destroy the beast. The producers had the sets, they had the costumes, and they had a good enough script. What happened? Why did I find this movie so lame? Was it the fact that they might as well have left it PG rated?? I'm not sure. But I sure would like to see what was cut out by the editor, because there has to be some footage somewhere that might merit watching this film. I didn't get to see the scrap footage thrown away, so I have to base my 2 stars on what I got to see by watching the released version. Good grief this movie sucks. And now you know why there aren't very many reviews of this film. Most people who bought it, would rather stay silent than admit it. Too bad they didn't spend money on actresses and actors. The story might have worked with the right people in it. It has all the acting ability of porn, but without the porn.

The number of things wrong with this film abound, and I don't even know where to begin.

There are so many gratuitous scenes, and the character development was awful. Characters were introduced or slightly beginning to develop, and then they were killed off. Even the ones that survived, I didn't care about. Heck, I wanted the Minotaur to make it. The characters seemed weak, and the Minotaur was the only one who I felt sorry for, being born and then trapped away.

this movie is awesome it has gore,
action,adventure,lots of emotion.
and the most important thing a
good ending.so please no more
bad reviews ok people.