Customer Reviews

The Five Minute Iliad Other Instant Classics: Great Books For The Short Attention Span

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

If Dave Barry ever rewrote the classics, it might turn out like this book. If this is literature, then "Friends" is a documentary. And that is just the way it should be.

Greg Nagan rewrites a bunch of the most famous novels ever written. After a fragmented and historically dubious description of the origins of Western lit (bet you never knew "Gilgamesh" and the Bible were dueling for the bestseller list), he begins at the beginning. First comes a rather mangled version of the Iliad, which is written with a great deal of goofy gore. Then the Divine Comedy (well, part of it anyway), which has been rewritten in limerick form. Milton's "Paradise Lost" is the next victim, where (after eating the apple) Adam says to Eve, "Come to Daddy, baby!" Jane Austen's "Sense and Sensibility" is also fair game, in an ultra-repressed England where passionate young women with dewy heaving bosoms fall for rotters. (And Elinor does something unspeakably funny with a knitting needle) Then it's to the pit of England's misery in Charles Dickens' "Christmas Carol," where Scrooge is escorted by the spirits to another Dickins novel. Melville's "Moby-Dick" has a loony captain and a bunch of rather clueless sailors in search of a big white whale. Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment" features a squalid Russian killing other squalid Russians in a very squalid, depressing Russia.

Oscar Wilde's "Picture of Dorian Gray" has two repressed (yeah right!) English guys trying to either corrupt or save Dorian Gray, a beautiful lad who becomes psychotically self-serving. ("Cool.") Stoker's "Dracula" is another example of repressed English people and wimpy women who sleepwalk -- oh yeah, and a foreign doctor with a weird acent, and a vampire. Kafka's "Metamorphosis" is hilariously nihilistic, with a family who becomes nasty and intolerant just because a man has become a bug. James Joyce's "Ulysses" has been painstaking condensed down to one sentence. Orwell's "1984" has a guy rebelling against Big Brother (and no, it isn't a family drama) by reading a dense book and sleeping with a girl. Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye" essentially has Holden stomping around, contemplating how much he hates the universe. (The description also applies to the original work) Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea" parodies, in particular, the rambling conversations ("Yes, they are different." "Different." "Yes." "But not bad." "No." "No, not the same." "Yes.") The book rounds off with "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac, which goes from beginning to end in one long rambly sentence.

Perhaps the funniest thing about this is not just that Nagan spoofs the novels, but the authors behind them. Wilde's story contains one of the funniest examples of this, spoofing the gay undertones of his book ("Of course I'm not! I'm an impeccably repressed Victorian gentleman!"), followed by the dreary Russian misery of Dosteyevsky and the don't-remove-your-gloves-lest-a-man-see-your-delicate-wrists repression of Austen's time. (Yet jamming a knitting needle through someone's skull is socially acceptable... strange times Austen lived in!)

It helps to have at least a basic knowledge of each classic's storyline, but you don't need to have read them to appreciate the gutsplitting humor of each one. If you're a fan of Dave Barry, or if you hate pompous classics, this is the book for you. But for heaven's sake, don't use it for book reports.

I have to confess. I'm one of the lucky ones. I received an advance copy of Greg Nagan's FIVE-MINUTE ILIAD. This book is like... Prozac. No, wait, follow me on this one. Nagan's book made me giggle and laugh and want to share it with everyone. Even with my IT cube-dwelling mates. (Information Technologies, for the acronym-disinclined.) How to explain to programmers and tech support people why Nagan's "Paradise Lost" is inspired or "On the Road" is so damn fine?

Let them read it. Force them. Watch their eyes move through the lines. Try not to blurt, "Where are you? What part?" when they start smiling. This book makes people feel good.

Test it for yourself. Find the grouchiest, meanest, drunkest sonovabitch you know - maybe your boss, maybe your spouse, maybe... you - and make them read "The Inferno." Out loud.

Stitches. You'll both be in stitches. Happy stitches. Who else but Greg Nagan elevates "The Inferno" from a stuffy English translation into limerick?

Make friends with this book. Read THE FIVE-MINUTE ILIAD in restaurants or bars. See what happens. "What are you reading? What's so funny? You have a beautiful smile. Can I buy you a drink?" Again, test it for yourself.

This is a good, smart, funny book. I defy you to sustain a bad mood while reading THE FIVE-MINUTE ILIAD. And it's cheaper than Prozac.

... you've read the classic upon which the 5-minute translation is based. If you haven't, THE 5-MINUTE ILIAD AND OTHER INSTANT CLASSICS still provide plenty of merriment -- with maybe a touch of confusion. (In particular, Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is an absolute howler and George Orwell's "1984" might even have you running to pick up a copy of the original to find all of the hints.) While a few of the 'instant classics' do feel like one-note jokes that go on for several pages, it's still all in good fun at no one's expense ... other than a few of civilization's most revered authors. Nagan's observation's about Western Civilization and the expanse of its subsequent culture, however, are perhaps the finest notes of pure mirth in the book ... I'd almost wish he'd dedicate a book to that subject alone!

The other day one of my friends saw this book on my coffee table and rolled her eyes. 'Just what America needs', she sighed, 'more dumbing down'. So I dared her to read it. She opened up to the Crime and Punishment parody, started giggling, and left my apartment with the book in her bag. Yesterday she told me she was keeping the book, so here I am to order a new one.

Don't make the mistake my friend almost made! This isn't Cliff notes or a bunch of little summaries, these are hysterical parodies that would be equally at home in the New Yorker or Mad Magazine. The classics he chose are a pretty good survey of western lit, though I don't know as I would have included On the Road or Dracula, even though I think they're two of the funniest parodies in the book.

I have to admit I never read some of the books before, and though the parodies were still pretty funny I think the ones of the books I've read probably made me laugh a little harder. Also I think the historical introductions are a howl, especially the one about Ulysses, but they're too short.

Read this book, but keep it where your friends can't see it!

Five Minute Iliad is the funniest and most intelligent book I've read in ages. Nagan's humour is superb - I will never be able to pick up Moby Dick again whitout laughing my head of. His obvious love for his material mixed with a sharp and profound irony provides you with all you need to know about these classics. Can't wait to see what he'll come up with next. Hurry up, Greg Nagan!

I laughed aloud while reading this book, and have recommended it to every one of my friends. It's not just a blanket recommendation, either: I know so many diverse folks I try to cater my suggestions to each taste. But this one will tickle anyone who's ever read any of those Great Books. I think teachers would benefit from perusing Greg Nagan's take on things before they make up their next list of reading requirements. I found that most of his interpretations were so wonderful, so hilarious, they left a powerful impression. I hate to admit it, but some of his subtle wit even opened my eyes to a few new insights. Reading it is like getting to eat your chocolate cake before dinner, so anyone about to jump on one of the classics visited in THE FIVE-MINUTE ILIAD might want to read this inspired author's offering before beginning... Absolutely fantastic.

I was at a restaurant tonight and there was a drunk guy at the bar talking very loudly to a woman about classic works of literature. His summaries were unintentionally very similar to the ones in this book. If Monty Python's "Gumby Cherry Orchard" sketch makes you chuckle, you'll probably find plenty to laugh at here.

I found this book while browsing the university bookstore. It caught my eye and I couldn't help but wonder how the heck someone could condense the damn Illiad into about 4-5 pages. Reading the first page, I realized it was supposed to be funny (which by all means is good in my books).

The book except for a few parts is quite witty and sometimes outright hilarious (try to keep yourself from laughing on a crowded train... he makes it hard).

You do have to have read the books he's poking fun of however. Most of the books should have been used in any sensible english course but even if you know the jist of the story, you are good to go. Some things like the chapter on Ulysses are just downright clever (you will know if you read the book =) )

This was the funniest book I have read in...well, ever.

The Iliad was so funny, that I still cannot read certain parts aloud because I can't stop laughing long enough to spit the words out (page 26). Paradise Lost was also a scream, especially the "As If".

I do hope the author skewers a few more classics. Just think of the fun he could have with Madame Bovary!

Why bother reading the classics when you can read Nagan's versions of them? Nagan expertly summarizes all the important things from the books you've never wanted to read. Now you can discuss The Iliad, 1984, Crime and Punishment and a whole slew of other novels without actually reading them! This book is great for the college student who never plans on reading [stuff]written by dead white guys, but doesn't want to feel out of the loop when hearing allusions to these novels. Also, while the stories are quite funny if you've actually read the real versions, they are equally amusing if you have not even glanced at the originals. This is a must read for any person with taste (taste enough to avoid the originals) and a good sense of humor. Enjoy!