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Mirror Talk

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Mirror Talk by Barbara Alfaro is a thoughtful book, rich in detail, humor and poignancy.

A memoir, Mirror Talk takes the reader on a gentle journey from childhood to retirement. The writing is graceful, the observations clever, sometimes painful but always honest.

Barbara Alfaro's gift of description is fresh and delightful: Coney Island's rollercoaster described as "a giant doodle against the sky." A lake where, as a child, she went fishing with her grandfather described as "spotted with lily pads." Or the conclusion that "Having a successful marriage proved a lot more difficult than geometry."

Barbara is an accomplished poet and playwright, and it shows in her flowing, rhythmic prose.

I loved the chapter "Summer Romance," which deals with family love and loss, and confides to the reader the event that changed Barbara's life - seeing her first play. She writes, "I don't remember the play. I do remember loving everything about it - the stage, lighting, sounds, costumes. It was as if the most beautifully illustrated book in the universe had suddenly come to life, giant-size and accompanied by music. I was instantly and permanently theatre mad."

Much of this witty and wistful memoir is devoted to the author's life in the theater. And her behind-the-scenes glimpses of New York's theatrical universe reveal the quirky, weird and wonderful people known as actors, directors and producers.

Her chapter "Make Mine Cognac" had me laughing out loud.

For a wise and gentle look at a tenderly-layered life, I recommend Mirror Talk, a memoir by Barbara Alfaro.

Baby Boomers will recognize many of the stories in Mirror Talk: summer vacations at the beach, holidays at the grandparents, schoolmates influential in not always positive ways, schoolyard infatuations, romances, marriages, and those boring but necessary entry level jobs. Throughout these stories, Mirror Talk reflects the high goals the Boomers either created for themselves or that family and society foisted upon them. The lesson of Mirror Talk is that, while disappointment sometimes follows high expectations, disappointment is reserved for those strong-willed folks who have the courage to aim high. Disappointment is, therefore, a positive, representing humankind's eternal striving for personal betterment, albeit a sometimes unsuccessful striving. As such, Mirror Talk is not a generational piece, after all. Rather, it is a timeless tale of those persons who aim for the material heavens, but in so doing reach a heaven of a more immaterial sort.

The best gifts often come in small packages, and Barbara Alfaro's slender 125-page memoir "Mirror Talk" is a small treasure. I can't decide whether this author is a poet who writes essays, or an essayist who writes poems; jump into the book and decide for yourself. "I exist," Alfaro writes, "in psychological not chronological time ... the dual curse and blessing of writers, the true time-travelers." These stories are full of warmth and wit, and the necessary brutal self-honesty that builds a series of individual recollections into an ever more deeply-moving whole. Life at the Rehearsal Club in Manhattan as an aspiring actress involves quite a bit of waitressing, and the perhaps requisite nervous breakdown ("I wasn't sure what to wear for a psychiatric evaluation"); a youthful first marriage full of promise inexplicably falls apart; and her Catholic-schooled girlhood seems to sabotage a career at ABC World News--"Barbara Walters told me I'd make a good producer one day if I would just become `more aggressive.'" But by finishing college in her forties at Goddard, (a hippie school full of "volatile vegetarians") she finally achieves confidence in her writing, and moves on to achieve recognition as a poet and playwright--capitalizing on her earlier theater degree and experience. As an author, Alfaro understands the connections that weave past and present together, and as a poet, illuminates this fabric with a vocabulary fresh and vibrant. There's an unflinching quality to her writing that reminds me of the late Irish journalist and broadcast personality Nuala O'Faolain's best-selling memoirs "Are You Somebody?" and "Almost There," but without the bitter edge. Alfaro takes poignant and leads it in the direction of humor (would you meditate on the Marx Brothers while getting an MRI?), in an easy, conversational style that makes for an engaging read. "I keep saying that I've never gotten anywhere," the author writes in the closing lines of "Mirror Talk." Oh, Barbara--you have!

In this memoir and her book of poems, Singing Magic, Barbara Alfaro's poetic sense of where words should come to rest against white space is flawless.

Deeply introspective without being self-absorbed, she brings us closer to understanding the human condition.

I just finished reading this memoir and I loved it. Even though I don't usually read memoirs, it was recommended by a friend. "Mirror Talk" is witty, sharp, and wistful. I especially enjoyed the essay titled "Make Mine Cognac" which was simply hilarious. It's not possible to read the author's childhood memories without recalling one's own. A great read!

Barbara Alfaro's Mirror Talk is a delightful book of essays and poems all tied in together to form a memoir. She weaves the many tales of her Catholic childhood in New York and her years of theatre work. The memoir is full of humor and sadness as the reader watches Barbara grow up. It shows a young girl growing into maturity who is full of spunk and has the courage to ask the difficult questions. In one essay, she asks, as a young woman, "What is love? Was it putting stone in your shoes and offering the pain to Gad as the nuns said some saints did? Was it wanting to beat up the bully who had beaten my brother? Was it mama who no matter how closely she held you, never held you too tightly?" All throughout the memoir, you can see into the depth of humanity through the author's insight into herself and her life. I found myself reflecting on my life as I read Barbara's memoir. So many of her pieces took me back to a similar time in my life.

A completely engaging and entertaining memoir -- from Rockaway Beach to TV producing to theater, this author has the gift of making everyday life seem like a miracle. Usually, I shy away from memoirs, but this one read like fiction-- highly recommend it!

I can only compare reading Barbara's Mirror talk to appreciating a pointillist painting. When you begin to read it up close, the author lays down the colored dots of her life leaping from past to present and back. Sometimes you wonder what she is up to, but as you keep reading, and you step back, the dots form patterns, and patterns of patterns, until finally you get to the end and are able to see the whole; and it all makes sense. Anyone can live a life and write about it, but poets like Barbara have the best skill to examine said life, and place the right dots side by side to conjure up a gestalt that they can present to others in a way that is beautiful, meaningful, and entertaining.

But this book is not one of the many self-serving memoirs you read out there. In this one Barbara deals honestly with the rough edges of family life, her religious upbringing, her faith, her life choices, and she does not shy away from expressing her opinions. She is curious about her journey and her destination, about who she was, who she is, and who she wants to be.

There were many things that I particularly enjoyed. Chapters like "Make Mine Cognac" or "The Snowball Incident" were very funny, whereas other chapters like "The Goddard Experience" really soared. The metaphor of the three balloons was amazing and Thalia's request to Zeus was hilarious. Barbara also includes in this book a few fine poems of which "A Child's Poem" is truly riveting.

All in all it was an enjoyable and thought-inspiring read, the sort of experience that enriches your life. I recommend that you buy her book and read it before facing that mirror on your wall.

When you read Barbara Alfaro's memoir "Mirror Talk" you realize that Socrates was right, when he said that the unexamined life is not worth living. "Mirror Talk" lets you experience the multiple pleasures that this true writer offers you about her life in her loving Irish Catholic family on Long Island, NY, or when she befriends the rebel Blanche in her ordered Catholic school. After a failed marriage she embraces the life of the theatre, which excites her, breaks her heart at times, and gives rise also to some especially humorous episodes. Alfaro delights us often with the apt simile and the fitting metaphor in her reminiscences so that we understand the vivid richness of her canvas. She's neither afraid to bare faults in her past, nor to look into the unknown future, when her life seems in grave danger due to a painful illness. She's a courageous soul! As with any great storyteller, you hope there will be more in future?

Mirror Talk: A Memoir (Volume 1) is a wonderfully candid recollection of an artist's efforts to express herself, first through acting and then through writing.

Alfaro's recollections of the bizarre off-off-off Broadways plays in which she acted are hilarious, and cringe-inducing.

Her abiding faith, both in God and her own talent for expression, make this a great read for anyone who's faced situations where the deck was stacked against them, which is, of course, just about everyone.