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97 of 108 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Not great not horrible, October 17, 2001
This book has some good aspects but feels like it needed more research or more time in introspection. Sure it is great to have a well known respected feminist writer say the things that Suzanne Arms, Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger, etc. have all said before(and somewhat better in my opinion) and women will pick up this book, because it is Naomi Wolf, that wouldn't otherwise buy a book about birth and mothering. That is all to the good! I see strengths in the chapters describing the truly typical dismissive prenatal care most OBs give (I say this as an experienced childbirth educator/labor support person/mother of twins - the dreaded "high risk" pregnancy that wasn't). It clearly says that there is no basis in fact or simple human decency in such a birth culture. The Post Partum Depression chapter is worth the price of the book. Honesty on that topic is often lacking! I actually liked the stories about women trying to negotiate changing marital relationships. Some have found them whiny, but they sound like some of my girlfriends conversations and rang true to me. I think she is overly pessimistic. Some of us find a good balance with our mates and are truly happy(rather than resigned) with the results. It is true that a sense of entitlement doesn't render this a truly representative book. Where are the Latino, African-American and immigrant birth experiences. If she thinks hers was bad, she has no idea how truly bad it can get! I once consoled a sobbing 19 year old at a health fair, who told me how her nurse and OB literally yelled, "shut up!" to her repeatedly when she asked questions during her birth. I was horrified at Wolf's indefensible comments on LaLecheLeague. I want to know what meeting she went to (I suspect she actually didn't go to one). I belong to the DC chapter and she had her first child when she lived/worked in DC and I tell you that we have never been "lactation facists" or unrealistic "milk missionaries" to the women who choose to come to our meetings. The biggest problem I have with the book is her chapter on the "naturalists". She tells women that hospital courses are not adequate or honest (true) but does not tell women that there are literally thousands of independent childbirth education classes held in homes, community centers and yoga studios that do provide the information she seemed unable to locate before her traumatic first birth. Women can seek a Bradley Method (disclosure-I teach Bradley), Birthing From Within, Birthworks, or other natural childbirth class to get balanced viewpoints and better yet - referral lists of wonderful midwives and the (sadly too few and far between) supportive respectful OBs and hospitals. Just about all my OB-employing students switch to *independent* midwives (Joint OB/midwife practices can be a dicey form of window dressing that hides an uncomfortable birth reality. Be sure to ask if the midwives actually catch and how often.) midway through my 12 week class (that's right a weekender B&B cram session is not going to be enough because you need committment, education and time to navigate our scary birth culture in a way that suits your needs) My final disappointment was that as a feminist she did not even touch on the fact that women are taking control/stepping out of the abusive system by engaging independent certified nurse midwives, lay midwives(professional, apprentice trained homebirth specialists legal in 17 states and deserving of legality in all others!!!!), having homebirths and even choosing unassisted births in ever increasing numbers. There is a womanist mothers' movement that is alive and well and she and her feminist-success-story (admittedly) privileged friends could have availed themselves of it had they dug a little deeper. This book was worth reading but, go read Immaculate Deception II, Spiritual Midwifery, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and the Birthlove.com website as well!
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188 of 227 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
A few valid points overwhelmed by melodrama & poor-me-ism, September 26, 2001
As a pregnant stay-at-home mother, I've experienced first-hand the extent to which society devalues motherhood and pregnancy. I therefore found the concept of Naomi Wolf's book, "Misconceptions," intriguing: Wolf purports to "show how the experience of becoming a mother ... [is] undersupported, sentimentalized, and even manipulated at women's expense." Sadly, the book's whiny, self-pitying tone and unrelenting negativity will undoubtedly alienate the people Wolf seeks to convince. Let me start by saying that Wolf does make many valid points about the unsupportive and often negative way American society treats pregnant women and new mothers. For example, she rightly points out the stinginess of most employers when it comes to maternity leave; the unreasonable difficulty in determining important statistics like a hospital's rate of maternal death or percentage of patients who ultimately get C-sections; and the unwillingness of society to deal straight-on with the less romantic aspects of pregnancy and motherhood. And Wolf's critique of the patronizing "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (which is a minuscule portion of the book, but has received disproportionate emphasis in many reviews) is dead-on accurate. Unfortunately, the important and thought-provoking parts of the book are far outweighed by the book's flaws: (1) for every one well-reasoned argument or analysis, there are at least two or three that are questionable or even plainly absurd. For example, is Wolf seriously suggesting that what a pregnant woman sees or does can somehow "imprint" on her unborn fetus? Consider her response to the morally ambiguous and extremely complex issue of selective termination: "What sort of violence might the surviving siblings remember in that place below memory?". In another case, she cites the statistic that women in "troubled" relationships have a much higher percentage of children with problems, in support of the proposition that a pregnant woman's "happiness" has a direct impact on her baby's health. Isn't it more likely that a woman without a supportive partner is less likely to receive adequate prenatal care, or is more likely to receive physical abuse from her partner or to resort to drugs or alcohol to deal with her problems? (2) The melodramatic and whiny tone that permeates the book. See, for example, this description of the ambivalence most pregnant women feel before the baby is born: "The maiden 'I' sometimes had to weep with the sure, coming death of the maiden-self, the self that could 'arise and go now' at will; the self that is not food for others but eats and drinks the world." Or Wolf's over-the-top, pages-long description of her labor experience (basically, she didn't like the hospital, had an epidural, and later, a C-section) - subsequently described as her "trauma" - that would make one believe the nurses shoved bamboo shoots under her fingernails for kicks (e.g. "What was left of me as a physical presence felt like a trapped, cornered animal"; "Drugged and pinned, that is what I remember of the birth"). Believe me, I am sympathetic to tough labor experiences - I pushed for 3 hours before my son was delivered by C-section - but the flowery adjectives, the ridiculous turns of phrase reflect an unending quest for melodrama, not to mention bad writing. (3) A related point - Wolf's wallowing in this self-imposed victimhood. For example, the angst that Wolf describes when encountering two cold and insensitive OB's is remarkable - but instead of moaning about how infantalized they made her feel, wouldn't it simply be more constructive to find a new doc and be done with it? Throughout the book, one senses this urgent need to feel victimized, even though by most objective standards, Wolf's experiences just weren't that bad. (4) Wolf's paranoia and suspicion of the medical profession, and American society in general, also undermine the effectiveness of her arguments. I wholeheartedly agree that women - pregnant or not - need to be educated and assertive health care consumers. And certainly there are many health care professionals who are not very good. But Wolf descends into a level of paranoia that makes one wonder how slanted her arguments are, how objective she truly can be in evaluating the system. (5) The unremittingly negative tone and focus of the book. Not because I don't wish to hear how [bad] society treats pregnant women and new moms - I've experienced (and still am experiencing!) that firsthand - but because it feels like Wolf has deliberately chosen to dwell on the most extreme cases, the most unpleasant birth experiences, the most angst-ridden and neurotic emotions she felt while pregnant. She attacks so many aspects of motherhood and so many ideological viewpoints that I was left wondering what, if anything, is left. And by including so many anecdotes from friends and acquaintances that are overwhelmingly negative, one wonders if she has chosen not to hear the positive ones. Perhaps the ultimate flaw in the book is the most ironic: on the one hand, Wolf criticizes society for its refusal to discuss the blood and guts of pregnancy and motherhood in favor of a sanitized, "Hallmark card" version, but at the same time obviously believes that this idyll exists and that she was unjustly deprived of it. If you are interested in the subject matter, and wish to read a more sensible and convincing critique of the way America treats its mothers, you'd be better off reading Ann Crittendon's "The Price of Motherhood".
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
GOOD INTRO TO PREPARING FOR BIRTH AND MATERNAL EMOTIONS, October 3, 2002
This is a very personal book about the author's first pregnancy experiences. It aims to prepare a woman to ask the really important questions about the kind of care her provider routinely dispenses. She informs about various risks of prenantal and delivery procedures. What stays with me the most about this book was the way Naomi honestly tells about the emotions you feel when you are pregnant. I am barely going on my second trimester and I already feel the protectiveness of not only my fetus but all children, animals and their issues in general. The topics in the book extend beyond advice and memoir regarding pregnancy to issues of infertility, women's health in general and comparative anthroplogy. It all leans toward a philosophy towards political activism which I beleive all citizens concerned with the welfare of children will embrace. I very much related to and enjoyed parts of this book but it is quite heavy and geared toward pointing out the bad things about bearing a child and rasing it in our current society. Therefore it is hard to read all the way through when you are pregnant since you want to avoid feeling doomed or feeling that your child will be doomed in our society if things don't change FAST.
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