Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood [Paperback]

Naomi Wolf (Author)

Book Description

Release date: February 4, 2003

In The Beauty Myth the fearless Naomi Wolf revolutionized the way we think about beauty. In Misconceptions, she demythologizes motherhood and reveals the dangers of common assumptions about childbirth. With uncompromising honesty she describes how hormones eroded her sense of independence, ultrasounds tested her commitment to abortion rights, and the keepers of the OB/GYN establishment lacked compassion. The weeks after her first daughter’s birth taught her how society, employers, and even husbands can manipulate new mothers. She had bewildering post partum depression, but learned that a surprisingly high.percentage of women experience it.
Wolf’s courageous willingness to talk about the unexpected difficulties of childbirth will help every woman become a more knowledgeable planner of her pregnancy and better prepare her for the challenges of balancing a career, freedom, and a growing family. Invaluable in its advice to parents, Misconceptions speaks to anyone connected–personally, medically, or professionally–to a new mother.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In her latest work, the author of the bestselling The Beauty Myth and other titles attempts to employ her fiercely confident and uncompromising, rip-the-lid-off style to tell the painful truth of motherhood in contemporary America. Interweaving personal narrative and reportage and pouncing with particular vehemence on what she considers to be the dumb, patronizing misinformation in the bestselling guidebook What To Expect When You're Expecting Wolf reveals that birth in this country is often needlessly painful. In a portentously dramatic tone, she describes how difficult and lonely it can be to care for a child and to be a working mother. Indeed, Wolf finds new motherhood so difficult that it has rocked her celebrated feminism. "Yet here we were," she concludes "to my horror and complicity, shaping our new family structure along class and gender lines daddy at work, mommy and caregiver from two different economic classes sharing the baby work during the day just as our peers had done." Wolf says little here that hasn't been said before in books like Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Birth and Ann Crittenden's The Price of Motherhood. What stands out with embarrassing clarity is her emphasis on the sufferings of a privileged minority. In prose that often lapses into purple, Wolf describes the "savagery" of breastfeeding and the unsheltered wilderness of suburban playgrounds. This work is so unoriginal in its social critique and so limited in its portrayal of the hardships endured by mothers and children and families in this country that it comes across as a weirdly out-of-touch bid for personal attention rather than a genuine expos‚. It is likely to alienate all but the newest and most sheltered mothers.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Library Journal

Steingraber turns to embryology to follow the growth and development of the child she is carrying. While describing the intricacies of fetus development with lyrical prose, she notes a heightened awareness of environmental hazards that threaten the unborn. Our industrial society produces toxic substances that can cross the placenta and appear in breast milk. She issues a wake-up call in the tradition of Rachel Carson as she welcomes her daughter, Faith, into the world. Both of these books are excellent companions to mainstream pregnancy guides such as What To Expect When You're Expecting (Workman, 1996). Highly recommended for all collections. [Misconceptions was previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 6/1/01; for an interview with Wolf, see p.225.] Barbara M. Bibel, Oakland P.L., C.
- Barbara M. Bibel, Oakland P.L., CA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Anchor (February 4, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385497458
• ISBN-13: 978-0385497459
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (117 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #185,524 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Naomi Wolf was born in San Francisco in 1962. She was an undergraduate at Yale University and did her graduate work at New College, Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar.

Her essays have appeared in various publications including: The New Republic, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, Ms., Esquire, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. She also speaks widely to groups across the country.

The Beauty Myth, her first book, was an international bestseller. She followed that with Fire With Fire: The New Female Power and How It Will Change The 21st Century, published by Random House in 1993, and Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood, published in 1997. Misconceptions, released in 2001, is a powerful and passionate critique of pregnancy and birth in America.

In fall 2002, Harper Collins published a 10th anniversary commemorative edition of The Beauty Myth. In May of 2005, Ms. Wolf released The Treehouse: Eccentric Wisdom from my Father on How to Live, Love and See. The End of America, published in September 2007 by Chelsea Green, is Naomi's latest book.

Naomi Wolf is co-founder of The Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, an organization devoted to training young women in ethical leadership for the 21st century. The institute teaches professional development in the arts and media, politics and law, business and entrepreneurship as well as ethical decision making.

She lives with her family in New York City.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

104 of 116 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Not great not horrible October 17, 2001

By Lorrie Leigh

Format:Hardcover

This book has some good aspects but feels like it needed more research or more time in introspection. Sure it is great to have a well known respected feminist writer say the things that Suzanne Arms, Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger, etc. have all said before(and somewhat better in my opinion) and women will pick up this book, because it is Naomi Wolf, that wouldn't otherwise buy a book about birth and mothering. That is all to the good!

I see strengths in the chapters describing the truly typical dismissive prenatal care most OBs give (I say this as an experienced childbirth educator/labor support person/mother of twins - the dreaded "high risk" pregnancy that wasn't). It clearly says that there is no basis in fact or simple human decency in such a birth culture. The Post Partum Depression chapter is worth the price of the book. Honesty on that topic is often lacking! I actually liked the stories about women trying to negotiate changing marital relationships. Some have found them whiny, but they sound like some of my girlfriends conversations and rang true to me. I think she is overly pessimistic. Some of us find a good balance with our mates and are truly happy(rather than resigned) with the results.

It is true that a sense of entitlement doesn't render this a truly representative book. Where are the Latino, African-American and immigrant birth experiences. If she thinks hers was bad, she has no idea how truly bad it can get! I once consoled a sobbing 19 year old at a health fair, who told me how her nurse and OB literally yelled, "shut up!" to her repeatedly when she asked questions during her birth. I was horrified at Wolf's indefensible comments on LaLecheLeague. I want to know what meeting she went to (I suspect she actually didn't go to one).... I belong to the DC chapter and she had her first child when she lived/worked in DC and I tell you that we have never been "lactation facists" or unrealistic "milk missionaries" to the women who choose to come to our meetings.

The biggest problem I have with the book is her chapter on the "naturalists". She tells women that hospital courses are not adequate or honest (true) but does not tell women that there are literally thousands of independent childbirth education classes held in homes, community centers and yoga studios that do provide the information she seemed unable to locate before her traumatic first birth. Women can seek a Bradley Method (disclosure-I teach Bradley), Birthing From Within, Birthworks, or other natural childbirth class to get balanced viewpoints and better yet - referral lists of wonderful midwives and the (sadly too few and far between) supportive respectful OBs and hospitals. Just about all my OB-employing students switch to *independent* midwives (Joint OB/midwife practices can be a dicey form of window dressing that hides an uncomfortable birth reality. Be sure to ask if the midwives actually catch and how often.) midway through my 12 week class (that's right a weekender B&B cram session is not going to be enough because you need committment, education and time to navigate our scary birth culture in a way that suits your needs)

My final disappointment was that as a feminist she did not even touch on the fact that women are taking control/stepping out of the abusive system by engaging independent certified nurse midwives, lay midwives(professional, apprentice trained homebirth specialists legal in 17 states and deserving of legality in all others!!!!), having homebirths and even choosing unassisted births in ever increasing numbers. There is a womanist mothers' movement that is alive and well and she and her feminist-success-story (admittedly) privileged friends could have availed themselves of it had they dug a little deeper. This book was worth reading but, go read Immaculate Deception II, Spiritual Midwifery, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and the Birthlove.com website as well! Read more ›

190 of 229 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars A few valid points overwhelmed by melodrama & poor-me-ism September 26, 2001

By Carol S. VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

As a pregnant stay-at-home mother, I've experienced first-hand the extent to which society devalues motherhood and pregnancy. I therefore found the concept of Naomi Wolf's book, "Misconceptions," intriguing: Wolf purports to "show how the experience of becoming a mother ... [is] undersupported, sentimentalized, and even manipulated at women's expense." Sadly, the book's whiny, self-pitying tone and unrelenting negativity will undoubtedly alienate the people Wolf seeks to convince.
Let me start by saying that Wolf does make many valid points about the unsupportive and often negative way American society treats pregnant women and new mothers. For example, she rightly points out the stinginess of most employers when it comes to maternity leave; the unreasonable difficulty in determining important statistics like a hospital's rate of maternal death or percentage of patients who ultimately get C-sections; and the unwillingness of society to deal straight-on with the less romantic aspects of pregnancy and motherhood. And Wolf's critique of the patronizing "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (which is a minuscule portion of the book, but has received disproportionate emphasis in many reviews) is dead-on accurate.
Unfortunately, the important and thought-provoking parts of the book are far outweighed by the book's flaws: (1) for every one well-reasoned argument or analysis, there are at least two or three that are questionable or even plainly absurd. For example, is Wolf seriously suggesting that what a pregnant woman sees or does can somehow "imprint" on her unborn fetus? Consider her response to the morally ambiguous and extremely complex issue of selective termination: "What sort of violence might the surviving siblings remember in that place below memory?".... In another case, she cites the statistic that women in "troubled" relationships have a much higher percentage of children with problems, in support of the proposition that a pregnant woman's "happiness" has a direct impact on her baby's health. Isn't it more likely that a woman without a supportive partner is less likely to receive adequate prenatal care, or is more likely to receive physical abuse from her partner or to resort to drugs or alcohol to deal with her problems? (2) The melodramatic and whiny tone that permeates the book. See, for example, this description of the ambivalence most pregnant women feel before the baby is born: "The maiden 'I' sometimes had to weep with the sure, coming death of the maiden-self, the self that could 'arise and go now' at will; the self that is not food for others but eats and drinks the world." Or Wolf's over-the-top, pages-long description of her labor experience (basically, she didn't like the hospital, had an epidural, and later, a C-section) - subsequently described as her "trauma" - that would make one believe the nurses shoved bamboo shoots under her fingernails for kicks (e.g. "What was left of me as a physical presence felt like a trapped, cornered animal"; "Drugged and pinned, that is what I remember of the birth"). Believe me, I am sympathetic to tough labor experiences - I pushed for 3 hours before my son was delivered by C-section - but the flowery adjectives, the ridiculous turns of phrase reflect an unending quest for melodrama, not to mention bad writing. (3) A related point - Wolf's wallowing in this self-imposed victimhood. For example, the angst that Wolf describes when encountering two cold and insensitive OB's is remarkable - but instead of moaning about how infantalized they made her feel, wouldn't it simply be more constructive to find a new doc and be done with it? Throughout the book, one senses this urgent need to feel victimized, even though by most objective standards, Wolf's experiences just weren't that bad. (4) Wolf's paranoia and suspicion of the medical profession, and American society in general, also undermine the effectiveness of her arguments. I wholeheartedly agree that women - pregnant or not - need to be educated and assertive health care consumers. And certainly there are many health care professionals who are not very good. But Wolf descends into a level of paranoia that makes one wonder how slanted her arguments are, how objective she truly can be in evaluating the system. (5) The unremittingly negative tone and focus of the book. Not because I don't wish to hear how [bad] society treats pregnant women and new moms - I've experienced (and still am experiencing!) that firsthand - but because it feels like Wolf has deliberately chosen to dwell on the most extreme cases, the most unpleasant birth experiences, the most angst-ridden and neurotic emotions she felt while pregnant. She attacks so many aspects of motherhood and so many ideological viewpoints that I was left wondering what, if anything, is left. And by including so many anecdotes from friends and acquaintances that are overwhelmingly negative, one wonders if she has chosen not to hear the positive ones.
Perhaps the ultimate flaw in the book is the most ironic: on the one hand, Wolf criticizes society for its refusal to discuss the blood and guts of pregnancy and motherhood in favor of a sanitized, "Hallmark card" version, but at the same time obviously believes that this idyll exists and that she was unjustly deprived of it. If you are interested in the subject matter, and wish to read a more sensible and convincing critique of the way America treats its mothers, you'd be better off reading Ann Crittendon's "The Price of Motherhood". Read more ›

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars GOOD INTRO TO PREPARING FOR BIRTH AND MATERNAL EMOTIONS October 3, 2002

By Concerned parent

Format:Hardcover

This is a very personal book about the author's first pregnancy experiences. It aims to prepare a woman to ask the really important questions about the kind of care her provider routinely dispenses. She informs about various risks of prenantal and delivery procedures.

What stays with me the most about this book was the way Naomi honestly tells about the emotions you feel when you are pregnant. I am barely going on my second trimester and I already feel the protectiveness of not only my fetus but all children, animals and their issues in general.

The topics in the book extend beyond advice and memoir regarding pregnancy to issues of infertility, women's health in general and comparative anthroplogy. It all leans toward a philosophy towards political activism which I beleive all citizens concerned with the welfare of children will embrace.

I very much related to and enjoyed parts of this book but it is quite heavy and geared toward pointing out the bad things about bearing a child and rasing it in our current society. Therefore it is hard to read all the way through when you are pregnant since you want to avoid feeling doomed or feeling that your child will be doomed in our society if things don't change FAST.

24 of 28 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Revealing, on target and a bit disappointing November 19, 2001

By "christinm"

Format:Hardcover

I picked up this book with great anticipation, after hearing that Naomi Wolf had just given a reading in Seattle. My midwife friend who attended the reading told me it was clear Wolf had a lot of anger, still, about her birth experiences. As a sociologist writing a book about the doula movement, (professional labor support), I was curious to see what Wolf could add to the volumes of social science research out there about the American way of birth. There is still work cut out for those of us who take all this for granted. I can only hope that this book will attract readers who will be inspired to do further research on their own, who would otherwise take the system as is, unquestioned.

I was disappointed that Naomi Wolf failed to cite more of the research that shows how skewed American obstetrics is toward pathologizing normal reproduction and protecting itself against a litigious consumer base. I was disappointed that Naomi chose (again) to represent her own upper middle class experience as the gauge against which our social treatment of reproduction and motherhood should be measured. And yet, her story shows that even women with resources and education are left blindsided by their transition to motherhood...

However, I was touched by the emotional voice that she shared--one which cried out for what should be (but really isn't) the right of every woman going through pregnancy and childbirth--unconditional emotional support, information geared toward her particular situation and effective advocacy at the birth itself. I felt the book did not go far enough in showing women the kinds of resources available for finding this, once the problem had been identified. There are many Internet parenting websites that contain a full spectrum of information regarding childbirth options.... There are many doula organizations with information and referrals to labor support in every state in the country. There are compassionate mothers' groups and nursing support groups in most major cities. Unfortunately, a new mother often has to actively seek out this information and support, and recognize that she needs it. The status quo does indeed expect new mothers to accept far too much with too little authentic support for the transition they have experienced. If Wolf's book is taken seriously (and with the charges of 'whininess' that concerns me), and more women read it than would otherwise read the many wonderful, well researched scholarly books out there (by Sheila Kitzinger, Ann Oakley, Barbara Katz Rothman, Robbie Pfeufer Kahn, Robbie Davis-Floyd, Brigitte Jordan, Penny Armstrong), then it will have served a good purpose.

While Wolf mentioned doulas, or labor support, she failed to articulate that this professional niche is attempting to bridge the two worlds of high tech obstetrics and midwifery. Doulas put the birthing woman at the center of their care. Doulas inform and education women about their choices in childbirth (and in too few locations around the country do women have TRUE choices between ob/gyn, nurse-midwifery and licensed midwifery care). In the end, however, doulas accept the woman's choices as right for her, (including pain medication), and their stated goal is to unconditionally accept and support that woman and her partner throughout the birth. Wolf expected emotional support from her hospital care team (ob/CNM/nurses) and was surprised to find this lacking. Hiring a doula is one way a woman can be sure that she receives the emotional nurturing and reassurance necessary to an emotionally satistfied birth experience. Doulas take the pressure off the father to be the sole source of emotional support; they remember the childbirth class information that fathers forget; and they support the male partner as he also undergoes a transformation into father--something Wolf gives short shrift to in her book. Doulas may not be for everyone but good labor support should be. In the absence of true choices in childbirth, doulas offer the next best thing. While they are powerless to change the obstetrician's episiotomy or c-section rate or the nurses' gruff manner, they can provide an emotional shield for the woman undergoing what otherwise is a dehumanizing, frightening experience. Not perfect, but let's advocate for change, here.

My final comment has to do with the editing. I found it unacceptable that glaring errors occurred not once, but twice, in citing feminist sociologist PAULA England, who is referred to as 'Paul' in the text on page 257 and as PAT in the Index!! Her work is not even included in the selected bibliography. There were other typographical errors here and there which made me distrust the care and accuracy of the citations.

In short, disappointing for those of us who know this stuff and yet hopeful that it may reach audiences we obviously still need to reach. Read more ›