From the Publisher
Anyone who knew Marilyn Van Derbur as a child and young adult believed she had it all -- a loving family, a beautiful home, an active social life. But beneath the surface, Van Derbur was a troubled young woman who lived through horrific panic attacks and excruciating physical pain every day of her adult life. Starting when she was just a child of five, she was sexually abused by her father until she turned 18. Van Derbur uses the term "incested," eschewing the more vanilla terms of "molestation" or "abuse."
As a student and young adult, Van Derbur was an overachiever with an unconscious need to stay very busy. She realizes now this was a coping mechanism to keep her two worlds separated—the "night child" who suffered at the hands of her father and the "day child" who was happy and outgoing.
After being named valedictorian of her high school class, she went on to college. Persuaded to enter a local beauty pageant, she ultimately was crowned Miss America. Ignoring the sheer terror she felt at the prospect of speaking in front of others, Van Derbur went on to become a highly successful motivational speaker. She writes of her endless need to be respected by others, all the while believing that if others really knew who she was, they would hate her and look at her with disdain and disgust. The perfectly poised mask she showed the outside world was a far cry from the tortured, panic-stricken, anxious woman within. The shame she felt within was a constant in her life, reminding her that she was "unworthy."
When a newspaper reporter learned of her story, Van Derbur's private shame became front-page news. Then she landed on the cover of People magazine. Soon incest survivors from around the country were reaching out to her, desperate to tell someone what had happened to them. It became instantly clear that her new role in life was to help others who had suffered incest and to help teach everyone how to make sure their children are safe from predators.
About the Author
Marilyn Van Derbur was crowned Miss America while she was a student at the University of Colorado. She received a bachelor of arts degree in 1960, graduating with Phi Beta Kappa honors.
As a childhood incest survivor, she has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and its long-term effects. In 1989 she asked the Kempe Center in Denver to develop an adult incest survivor program, and in 1993 she cofounded two national not-for-profit organizations dedicated to public education and strengthening laws protecting victims of sexual abuse.
She has produced 24 films, two of which won national and international awards. One was shown on prime-time PBS. Several have been shown in hundreds of classrooms nationwide.
Van Derbur is well known as a convention keynote and motivational speaker. She has been named as Outstanding Woman Speaker in America, has been inducted into the Colorado Women's Hall of Fame, and has received numerous awards and acknowledgments for her work.
A lifelong resident of Denver, she and her husband Larry Atler have one grown daughter and one grandson.
