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Miss America by Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love Paperback – January 1, 2003

4.8 out of 5 stars 100 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Miss America by Day" outlines ways to prevent abuse and seeks to enlighten readers so they can understand the trauma. -- The Denver Post - May 19, 2003

..written with emotional power - whether you're a survivor or a parent... -- Rocky Mountain News, June 2, 2003

This book had such a profound impact on me, I flew from Charleston, SC to Denver, to thank Marilyn personally. -- Cindy Tew - Charleston, SC

This is the most important book I have read on healing, conquering shame and the question of forgiveness. -- Shelli Hill Snyder - Davie, FL --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

Won 1st place in the prestigious Writers Digest national competition. 1900 books were entered in 9 categories. Won 1st place in the 'most inspirational" book category...the only book in Colorado to win a 1st place award. Won 3 more awards from the Colorado Independent Publishers Association. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 546 pages
  • Publisher: Oak Hill Ridge Press (January 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1935689517
  • ISBN-13: 978-1935689515
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.1 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (100 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #330,309 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By LuAnn Glatzmaier on May 24, 2005
Format: Mass Market Paperback
When I started reading this book I couldn't put it down. It is so well written I felt as if I was with Marilyn.

We hear of the "hero journey" that people undergo. Marilyn's life experience with such a horrendous horror that can afflict a human being is a heroine's journey - a victory of the human spirit over the worst of circumstances.

We often hear of a tragic incident in a person's life that is difficult to overcome, but to emerge from such a prolonged period of suffering during a child's most critical developmental years, suffering undergone within what was reputed to be our culture's definition of a "good family," has resulted in one of the most important autobiographies of our time.

Marilyn's triumph over her life circumstances speaks not only to the possibility of healing from incest, but reading this book outlines spiritual and psychological strategies for the deepest pain any reader may be suffering. I have given this book as a gift, sometimes to people who were fortunate enough to have not been violated by incest, and it helped them overcome other abuses in their lives which were festering for years.

Marilyn's courage and belief in herself "no matter what," her trust in her instincts, however much those instincts were interfered with in her developmental years, extend to the reader as does her courage, self-esteem and dignity. One can feel that her heart's intention in writing this book is to give the strength and courage to others that she somehow managed to summon from within herself. That sense of heart and reinforcement are among the gifts this book gives. Through her wisdom of experience, one finds an ally, a friend to help them traverse the flood waters of the worst, most terrifying of human experiences.
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Format: Hardcover
One of the best books I've read in a long time, and a must read for anyone who has ever been sexually abused as a child or for anyone involved in the counseling of people who have undergone this horror. I have only one question. I would like to know why Oak Hill Ridge Press, the publisher of this book, has limited it's availability to the state of Colorado and to online purchase? The jacket of the book states how Marilyn Van Derbur "has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and its long-term effects." So why would a book like this which is worth its weight in gold only be available in bookstores in one state in the United State? That's bizarre. Inter-library loan taps into 3000 libraries across the country and in that system there are only 4 copies of this book. Three of those are in Colorado and one is in Nebraska. I was told here in Florida by B. Dalton books that it is because the book is considered Denver history. I read the book and it has little to do with Denver history--it is the beautifully and courageously written biography of a survivor of incest.
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Format: Mass Market Paperback
In this amazingly honest book, Van Derbur tells the story of how she grew up in a family that seemed perfect on the outside but which was harboring an ugly secret: Starting when she was just a child of five, she was sexually abused by her father until she turned 18. The devastation and shame of incest, which Van Derbur repressed for many years, stayed with her through adulthood. This remarkable book tells of the night child who suffered at the hands of her father-and the day child who was happy and outgoing.

She also covers all-important tips on how people can protect their own children from sexual predators. This book should be required reading for every parent, teacher, judge, clergyman, and incest survivor.
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Format: Hardcover
Review of Miss America By Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love by Marilyn Van Derbur, Oak Hill Ridge Press, Denver, CO: 2003. ISBN: 0-9728-298-4-9, Autobiography/Abuse
Marilyn Van Derbur, a native of Colorado, is one of four daughters of a prominent Denver businessman (he is deceased). Her father was on numerous boards and committees, was honored with buildings named for him, and was president of "all the college fraternities in America." Both parents were active volunteers, donating time and money to culture and civic organizations. Marilyn's mother would often state that she had the "perfect marriage" and Marilyn was told that she was "blessed by being born into a perfect family." Marilyn's life appeared to be perfect, as depicted by the smiles in the pictures she shares throughout the book. Marilyn was crowned Miss America while she was attending the University of Colorado in 1958. When she graduated (with honors) Marilyn was a guest host on Candid Camera and a panelist on To Tell the Truth, as well as in commercials. She also waved to the public while in the Cotton Bowl and Thanksgiving Parades. She chose motivational speaking as her career, and was named the "Outstanding Woman Speaker in America" and was inducted to the "Colorado Woman's Hall of Fame." Indeed, anyone reading her story might experience a twinge of envy for all the fame and fortune that seemed to come to her so easily and effortlessly.

Except...Marilyn suffered from physical symptoms including insomnia, tics, ulcers, and panic attacks. When her body and mind rebelled against the constant travel, she experienced full body paralysis, yet doctors found no organic cause. What else might Marilyn be rebelling against? She had to search her mind and spirit to find the answers.
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