Customer Reviews

Miss Manners' Basic Training: Communication

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

When I first perused this book, and saw the scope of innovations in communications that it deals with(answering machines,fax machines, e-mail, pagers), I realized that it was really what the world needs. We are getting more and more communications devices all the time, and we each tend to think that we can do anything that technology enables us to do. We all need and want to exchange messages with others, and whereas we are eager to receive some, others we can do without. To fulfill these desires, we visit our local Radio Shack. However, techology, instead of enabling us, has a way of complicating our lives, and we also forget the perennial principles of decency which do not change with every advance in technology. Miss Manners help us to live by these principles in a world in which technology threatens to become our master.

For a lady whose yearns for the Victorian era, Miss Manners addresses the latest of cutting-edge communication technology with her trademark wisdom, common sense and rapier-like wit. If you've read as many of Judith Martin's books as I have, some of the information given here is repetitive. It is, however, information that will never let you down in a social situation or leave you feeling guilty or ashamed of the way you acted if you follow her guidelines, so it definitely bears repeating, especially for those who suffer from Genetic Social Nerdism. Miss Manners is not only absolutely right, all the time, but she will explain to you WHY she is right, and you will have to give up in the end and admit that she is the ultimate authority.

In this delightful little book, Miss Manners regales us with her opinions on the etiquette of telephones, emails, faxes, and letters. She provides the proper salutations and cloings for business and personal letters, tells us how to politely rebuff those who would use our telephones to run our lives, and reminds us that sometimes a handwritten note is necessary - and even when it isn't necessary, it's often best. The book is full of her usual witticisms and sardonic responses to reader letters, and it's a joy to read.

Witty and readable, this book addresses a great many communication dilemmas -- especially those posed by new technologies such as email, mobile phones, and pagers. And in the middle of this, Martin still finds time to tell us how to have our personal stationery monogrammed (in case we ever need to.)

As a professional grammar nerd, I wish there'd been some reference to the effect that spelling and grammar have on one's credibility -- but I suppose that even the pickiest etiquette expert couldn't class "R U OK" as *rude*, precisely.

And why on *earth* does Martin persist in condemning engraved/printed birth announcements as a modern vulgarism, when Emily Post approved them wholeheartedly in 1924?

Miss Manners covers the various forms of modern communication -- email, FAX, answering machines, engraved invitations, face-to-face meetings -- and reminds us of when and how various sentiments are properly delivered. In her inimitable style, mixing short essays with reader questions and her infallible answers, she makes this puzzling topic crystal clear, and yes, you do have to handwrite those thank you notes.

The subtitle of this book pretty much says it all: In which Miss Manners Explains the Proper Form and Choice of Technology for Messages Private, Professional and Public: When to Phone, When to Fax, When a Handwritten Note is Obligatory, a Form Letter Forbidden and a Chain Letter Out of the Question

I adore Judith Martin, particular when she is in her alter ego of Miss Manners. In this slim, yet meaty, volume, she takes up the question of communication in the age of cell phones and email. Really, people, it's not that difficult. Does the person really need to hear what you have to say, and, if so, right this minute? Do not expect them to drop everything to respond to you. Don't conduct business in the middle of a social engagement. The near-ubiquity of cellphones with the concomitant ability to be constantly in touch has, unfortunately, led some to believe that they should be constantly in touch.

In addition to the spoken word, Miss Manners discusses the written word. This encompasses not merely the question of the proper stationery and the proper salutation (my personal bugaboo, seen often in donor lists, is "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe"), but the who, what and when of invitations, thank-you notes, announcements, condolences and the like. (No "and guest". As she rightly says, "Miss Manners is sorry if it is too much trouble to find out the actual names of the people you care enough about to invite to a formal occasion, but you must do it.")

With her usual style and wit, Miss Manners will help you navigate the really not so difficult waters of proper communication. (Q: "How do you get children to write thank-you letters?" A: "Well, how do you get children to do anything?")