Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq: The Experts Speak [Paperback]

Christopher Cerf (Author), Victor S. Navasky (Author), Robert Grossman (Illustrator)

Book Description

Release date: March 25, 2008

Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq is the definitive collection -- systematically categorized, indexed, and footnoted for your convenience -- of authoritative misinformation, disinformation, misunderstanding, miscalculation, egregious prognostication, boo-boos, and just plain lies, about the Iraq War.

"Never before has such a large and diverse group of experts been so unanimously in favor of a particular national policy as they were in the case of the U.S. invasion of Iraq," note Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky, who, as co-founders of the Institute of Expertology, the nation's leading purveyor of expertise on expertise, were uniquely qualified to assemble this impressive collection. "In the face of such a consensus, we had no choice but to ask ourselves, 'Could the iron law of expertology -- the experts are never right -- be wrong?'"

At once an entertainment, a cautionary tale, a critique of mass media, a reference tool, and a postwar manifesto, Mission Accomplished! presents, as no book has before, the collective wisdom of all those who are presumed to know what they talking about on the subject of America's adventure in Iraq. As this hilarious, yet depressing, volume demonstrates, they don't.

From MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."

-- President George W. Bush, May 1, 2003

"[Insurgents] pose no strategic threat to the United States or to the Coalition Forces."

-- L. Paul Bremer III, Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, November 17, 2003

"Military action will not last more than a week."

-- Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, January 23, 2003

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."

-- President George W. Bush, at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, December 10, 2001

Editorial Reviews

Review

"All the golden oldies are here, from the title of the book itself to Rumsfeld's "freedom is untidy" to Kenneth Adelman's prediction that the war would be a "walk in the park" to Cheney and McCain's prediction that the Iraqis would greet us as "liberators." Readers may wish to do Sudoku puzzles instead of wallowing in memories of Ari Fleischer and WMDs. But readers who opt for Mission Accomplished may find that it pins them to their, um, seats." -- Salon.com

"Having amassed an aircraft carrier's worth of lies about the lead-up to the invasion of Iraq, Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky can now crow Mission Accomplished!. Indeed." -- Vanity Fair

"Almost 25 years after the amusing The Experts Speak: The Definitive Compendium of Authoritative Misinformation, Victor Navasky and Christopher Cerf have compiled its successor, Mission Accomplished! The new book, nicely illustrated by satirist Robert Grossman, hangs authorities of all vocations and ideological stripes with their words about slam dunks, cakewalks, willing coalitions, the war's cost, Jessica Lynch, Blackwater and much more." -- Washington Post Express

Review

"All the golden oldies are here, from the title of the book itself to Rumsfeld's "freedom is untidy" to Kenneth Adelman's prediction that the war would be a "walk in the park" to Cheney and McCain's prediction that the Iraqis would greet us as "liberators." Readers may wish to do Sudoku puzzles instead of wallowing in memories of Ari Fleischer and WMDs. But readers who opt for Mission Accomplished may find that it pins them to their, um, seats."-- Salon.com

"Having amassed an aircraft carrier's worth of lies about the lead-up to the invasion of Iraq, Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky can now crow Mission Accomplished!. Indeed."-- Vanity Fair

"Almost 25 years after the amusing The Experts Speak: The Definitive Compendium of Authoritative Misinformation, Victor Navasky and Christopher Cerf have compiled its successor, Mission Accomplished! The new book, nicely illustrated by satirist Robert Grossman, hangs authorities of all vocations and ideological stripes with their words about slam dunks, cakewalks, willing coalitions, the war's cost, Jessica Lynch, Blackwater and much more."-- Washington Post Express

"Victor Navasky and Christopher Cerf's shrewd, lucid and tragically funny compilation of 'experts' offering their (erroneous, comically misguided, and even outright false) thoughts on the Iraq war...is sure to become one of the essential reads for those trying to remember how the Iraq fiasco came to be."-Huffington Post --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Original edition (March 25, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416569936
• ISBN-13: 978-1416569930
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,262,947 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 52 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Blistering Compendium of Spin Out of Control on the Iraqi War April 5, 2008

By Ed Uyeshima HALL OF FAMETOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

As our burgeoning economic woes overshadow the war in Iraq in the minds of prospective voters, the imperial hubris that has been the mainstay of the Bush administration's rhetoric seems to get less airplay these days. Even though people continue to die, the cable networks apparently feel that their viewers have grown tired of the war. That's why there is great value in picking up this piercing collection of direct quotes from the so-called experts on the Iraqi conflict by Christopher Cerf and Columbia professor Victor Navasky, satirists who pose as co-founders of the Institute of Expertology, the nation's leading purveyor of expertise on expertise. The breadth of the public statements presented here is astonishing in their deceit, ignorance and utterly blind ambition.

All the classic assertions are included here starting with George W. Bush's claim of success that provides the book's title. Donald Rumsfeld chimed in with recycled catchphrases like "Stuff happens" and "Freedom is untidy". Convinced that the Iraqis would greet U.S. soldiers as liberators, Dick Cheney confidently proclaimed that "The streets of Baghdad are sure to erupt with joy". Even though he expresses regret now, policy analyst Kenneth Adelman originally stated that he felt the war would be a "walk in the park", while political pundit Bill O'Reilly echoed similar feelings of invalid self-assurance ("Military action will not last more than a week"). More evasive statements have an insidious sense of gloom, such as Condoleezza Rice's declaration that "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud", or former White House speechwriter David Frum's covert remark that "This 'rush to war' should really be seen as the ultimate 'rush to peace'".

Reading all these together provide a strong reminder of the power of the propaganda machine at work with the current administration. The co-authors make note of the gradual shift occurring in placing more of the blame now on Iran for helping the al-Qaeda. There is a pervasive sense of black comedy over the entire tome, not surprisingly given the co-authors' previous collaboration, 1984's The Experts Speak : The Definitive Compendium of Authoritative Misinformation. Intriguingly, Cerf, the son of Random House publishing co-founder and "What's My Line?" panelist Bennett Cerf, wrote many of the early sing-along tunes on Sesame Street and produced Marlo Thomas' classic 1974 children's program, Free to Be You and Me.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good comedy, with malice toward some. September 19, 2008

By Michael Winfield

Format:Paperback

If you think all conservatives are idiots, and want ammo to toss at war supporters, this is the book for you. This is a book you can judge just by the cover. It definitely belongs in the humor section, which also explains the inclusion of Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter as "Experts on the War in Iraq".

If you are in the mood for laughs, enjoy this book and read no further.

If you want a deeper review, I can tell you my friend lent me this book to give me "information" I apparently needed to know to be an informed voter. I think I learned something far more valuable along the way:

Q: What's the difference between a defender and a detractor?
A: Apparently, defenders make mistakes.

American involvement in Iraq has resulted in a number of huge mistakes:

* There turned out to be no weapons of mass destruction.
* The insurgents were a bigger problem than first thought.
* The enemies imprisoned at Abu Graib were not treated with respect.
* Some money (in cash) entrusted to the CPA simply disappeared.
* Ousting all Ba'thists from the government introduced some chaos.
* It has taken too long to restore Iraq after the quick invasion and toppling of Saddam.

I've read other reviews for this book, and many talk about the spin our leaders put on these "lies". I don't think any estimate or prognostication can really be called a lie, since you can only lie when you actually know with certainty the correct answer to begin with. So in the case where you know for a fact no weapons of mass destruction exist in Iraq and you suggest to the country otherwise then I would say you lied. In this specific case, if true, Bush lied. In other cases where things did not turn out as expected, all you can say is a guess was proven wrong.

Speaking of spin, this book consists of "volumes" of mistakes, where each mistake is a collection of quotes followed by a statement of actual fact.

I'm all sure the statements of fact check out. Still, the quotes are quite obviously taken out of context, chosen and ordered to paint a picture in which these people could do nothing right.

For example, in the very first section of the book, "experts" suggest victory in Iraq will result in Iraqis viewing coalition forces as "Liberators". In fact, the book tells us, a poll of Iraqis taken 13 months later shows only 2% of the native population view the forces occupying their country as "Liberators".

So, clearly, everybody quoted was as an idiot, right?

In this example, many of the quotes reference Baghdad specifically or use the word "greet". I don't know how you can "greet" forces that have been present over the last 13 months. The book is silent about how Coalition Forces were actually greeted immediately following the fall of Baghdad.

See how two truths -- real quotes and real events -- make a wrong here in the authors' twisted suggestion? Get used to it.

I have read all of the quotes in the book. Some gems are repeated a second time just in case you missed them. The book uses a number of different devices: guilt by association; straw man arguments; out-of-order chronology; same general quote but made to different targets at different times; etc. However, the same basic pattern is repeated throughout: make fools of certain parties with the suggestive comparisons between what he/she said beforehand followed by the actual event or events that took place (the authors real work was in finding these quote-event pairs). If only each of the "experts" had perfect knowledge about future events, then this book wouldn't exist.

Now I for one am certainly not happy Iraq was invaded on "intelligence" that proved false. I'm also not happy mistakes were and are being made during our involvement, but I am also not consoled by a bunch of ninnies effectively saying "I told you so" after the fact.

For example, the book quotes Bush from the 2003 State of the Union address:

"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

The book then follows with an "In fact:" section which cites the Op-Ed piece in the New York Times by Joseph Wilson pointing out there was, in fact, no yellowcake sale.

We know Wilson was sent to assess this exact situation in Feb. 2002 and he gave his answer (which was apparently ignored by his superiors). So that's certainly bad.

But hang on a second. Wilson knew there was no yellowcake sale, and he knew Bush suggested in January 2003 that there was. So why did Wilson wait until June 2003 to speak up? By this time it was already pretty clear no weapons of mass destruction had been found.

Why didn't Wilson write in January or February of 2003 when his words might had a shot at avoiding the invasion of Iraq?
Did it take 6 months for him to come up with just the right editorial phrasing?
Are we to believe nobody would print his editorial before June 2003?

I guess he just sat back and watched events unfold until he could be certain he was not mistaken. If only defenders had this luxury.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable -- a library's must have June 4, 2008

By Dagny

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

The book is a page turner of quotes by people who knew or should have known what a mess was being created in Iraq. To this day, our politicians say they want to pull out of Iraq when possible so as to stop the suffering of Americans and their families -- never a mention of the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians who were killed and maimed and the 3 million Iraqi refugees who fled the violence to other countries. The extreme arrogance of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and the duping of Condi Rice and Gen. Powell is breathtaking. Even an author who I favored reading, Thomas Friedman, carried the administration's water with the continuous (every 6 months) "just 6 more months". If any administration deserved to be impeached, it was this one. But no peep out of the legislature? Because so many of them deserve to be impeached as well. I hate to quote Bill OReilly, but what Kool Aid do these people drink that they think they know so much they can spend trillions in taxes and new debt and interfere or destroy so many lives? This book is an invaluable reference book for the lies told by Bush and his delusional minions.