Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts (Paperback)

~ Carol Tavris (Author), Elliot Aronson (Author) "IT'S FASCINATING, AND SOMETIMES funny, to read doomsday predictions, but it's even more fascinating to watch what happens to the reasoning of true believers when..." (more)
Key Phrases: reducing dissonance, dissonance theory, confirmation bias, United States, Reid Technique, Michael Schiavo (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (O, The Oprah Magazine, Francine Prose )

PRAISE FOR MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME)

 

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer."—Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying."—The Wall Street Journal

PRAISE FOR MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME)

 

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer."—Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying."—The Wall Street Journal

Product Description

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?

Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Mariner Books; Reprint edition (March 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0156033909
• ISBN-13: 978-0156033909
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (101 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #4,837 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

108 of 112 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars At first slowly, then quickly, June 25, 2007

By	Michael P. Maslanka (dallas, texas United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts (Hardcover)

Or so say Tavis and Aronson on how we lose our ethical grip---we make a small slip, say to ourselves it is not that bad, and our minds rationalize the next slip. From lunch with a lobbyist to a golf outing in Europe is not---when the mind puts its mind to it---that big a leap. Their discussion of confirmation bias, one of the worst breeders of bad decisions is outstanding and undertandable. And the chapter on how the police get the innocent to confess is chilling. There are all sorts of useful tips.Want to co-op an enemy? Get her to do a favor for you; her mind will say, "I do not do favors for jerks,and because I do not, he must not be that big a jerk." The mind can not hold two thoughts at once, so it bridges the dissonance. At 236 pages, the book is long enough to be worthwhile, but short enough to read on a vacation. Anyone interested in persuasion and how our minds work will find the read a useful one.

142 of 152 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Scary but essential reading, June 13, 2007

By	Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (VINE VOICE)

This review is from: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts (Hardcover)

Why do people refuse to admit mistakes - so deeply that they transform their own brains? They're not kidding themselves: they really believe what they have to believe to justify their original thought.

There are some pretty scary examples in this book. Psychologists who refuse to admit they'd bought into the false memory theories, causing enormous pain. Politicians. Authors. Doctors. Therapists. Alien abduction victims.

Most terrifying: The justice system operates this way. Once someone is accused of a crime - even under the most bizarre circumstances - the police believe he's guilty of something. Even when the DNA shows someone is innocent, or new evidence reveals the true perpetrator, they hesitate to let the accused person go free.

This book provides an enjoyable, accurate guide through contemporary social psychology. So many "obvious" myths are debunked as we learn the way memory really works and why revenge doesn't end long-term conflict.

Readers should pay special attention to the authors' discussion of the role of science in psychology, as compared to psychiatry, which is a branch of medicine. I must admit I was shocked to realize how few psychiatrists understand the concept of control groups and disconfirmation. Psychoanalysis in particular is not scientific. The authors stop short of comparing it to astrology or new age.

This book should be required reading for everyone, especially anyone who's in a position to make policy or influence the lives of others. But after reading Mistakes were Made, I suspect it won't do any good. Once we hold a position, say the authors, it's almost impossible to make a change.

43 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars TRULY Great, July 1, 2007

By	delores ripley "delores ripley" (new york) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts (Hardcover)

I must admit, I was almost swayed by the reviewer who called this book "almost great" but who was so offended by the use of Bush as an example of the dangers of unchecked self-justification. Like Mr. Almost Great, I don't like books with a heavy political tilt much either. But becasue I was intrigued by the accolades from some of my favorite authors on the dustjacket, I scanned Almost Great's many reviews on Amazon (including 5 stars for Ann Coulter's Liberal-hating books ---Oy Vey!). That decided it for me; I bought the book and read it in an evening.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED Mistakes Were Made! It is TRULY Great.

Reading it, you will learn about your own life, about psychology research, and yes, about politics, but it is not a political book in my opinion. It's a psychological detective story linking up all sorts of puzzling, hilarious, and downright tragic human behavior with a simple, elegant theory. Moreover it is written with humor, clarity, wisdom, and is based on 50 years of research, much of it the work of Aronson, who is a giant in the field of psychology. And despite what some have said, I found it exceedingly fair and balanced--it points out the errors and virtues of both republicans and democrats--unlike books by, say, Ann Coulter, which are anything but fair, much less well-researched.

For example, it explains with crystal clarity why both Bush and LBJ wouldn't budge from a stay-the-course mentality when in both cases it is/was clear to most outsiders that staying the course is/was insane. And it relates these monumental insanities to the kind of decisions and screw-ups and intrangigences we entangle ourselves into every day.

I'm a huge fan of Malcom Gladwell's Books and articles and the Daniel Gilbert book "Stumbling on Happiness," for the way they illuminate the way our minds work in an entertaining way. Like those books, it's a joy to read. But unlike those books, which describe the dynamics, and then say "isn't that interesting," Mistakes Were Made gives you insight and concrete steps to deal with the hobgoblins in our own minds and those of the rationalizing animals--which is everybody--with whom we interact everyday. The section on marriage may be the best treatment of how to get out of annoying spirals of defensive stupidity with one's spouse that I have ever read. And it's not written in an annoying self-help bookish way.

So, If you are like the "Almost Great' reviewer, and get upset hearing about the errors made by individuals from your favored political party, then you definitely NEED this book, and you need you take its lessons to heart, which apparently Mr. "Almost Great" did not. And even if you don't, at least you'll understand why it's so damn hard to. In other words, it will open your eyes to the psychological dynamics underlying partisanship--including being offended by books or ideas that don't confirm your strongly held political leanings.

I cannot recommend this book strongly enough. It deserves to be a best-seller, read by lots of people and reread over and over and over. If it were, I think the world would be a better place.