Customer Reviews

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Without getting too personal, I was drawn to buying this book because of some personal growth and realizations about myself and my sexuality. The fantasies and thoughts in this book, some of them already existed somewhere within my subconscious, but reading this book gave them some release. This book is well-written and very detailed. The first chapters deal with the psychological/emotional aspects of wanting to be a dominant woman or having feelings of domaninance as a woman in society. (Nice girls don't want to hit men, right?) The book details the five archetypes of dominating women (Nurse, Teacher, Queen, Amazon, and Goddess) and how each has different fantasies and scenes. The scenes in this book are excellent, and I would recommend that you take a little bit from each and tailor them to suit your (and your partner's) needs. I would definitely recommend this book to any woman who is drawn to the BDSM lifestyle and wants to learn how to top effectively.

I don't usually gravitate towards the dominance side of bdsm but I did have a lover at one time who wished to explore his own submissive nature. This book is an excellent education for any woman or man, for that matter, who is interested in experiencing female dominance. This is not a simple overview of female dominance or bdsm techniques but a true manual that takes you through the evolution of becoming a Mistress and the enacting of fantasy with your male partner. If you are new to the concept of female dominance this is an excellent book to guide you through the pleasure and pain of being the ultimate Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon, or Goddess. The book is broken into three main sections: Becoming a Mistress, The Mistress in Action, and The Five Archetypal Fantasies.

Becoming a Mistress brings light to idea of female dominance and the pleasure that can come from command while also discussing the psychological aspects of dominance and finding a partner to explore your fantasies. I enjoyed this section immensely since so many factors concerning personal guilt and relationships are addressed in regards to female dominance. If you're new to the sensual art of dominance you will gather a great deal of self-awareness and understanding in this section concerning bdsm and female dominance

The Mistress in Action begins the real sexual play of dominance between you and your male partner. From the language of dominance to the ties that bind you'll learn some basics that you can expand on with additional reading. This is an excellent book for the novice domme. Once you and our submissive discover specific items that are enjoyable I highly recommend SM101 by Jay Wiseman to explore more techniques and in-depth understanding of BDSM.

The Five Archetypal Fantasies are The Nursemaid, The Governess, The Queen, The Amazon, and the Goddess. Each archetype is outlined from elements of the fantasy, skills needed in the fantasy, enacting the perfect scenario, and variations of each fantasy. If you're unsure how to begin this section will eliminate all doubts. This is a step by step how to from what you should be thinking to create the fantasy to what to wear.

Another great part of this book is that conflict between fantasy choice between you and your submissive is discussed and addressed thoroughly so that everybody wins so you can move on to the sensual art of female dominance. As I mentioned I don't gravitate to dominance but if I ever needed to help someone fulfill their fantasy to be dominated by a Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon, or Goddess I know exactly how to take control now that I've read The Mistress Manual.

girldiver:)

I am so pleased to have found this book! I'm just beginning to explore the idea of taking control in our sex life, and this is so practical and reassuring, and still (ahem) very inspirational, too! Lorelei talks about why anyone might want to try female dominance, and why a man might like it too - she takes away the sense of being "wrong" or weird or sick and lets you see how it can be good for both of you. She's also got very practical information on how to use various toys so you give the most interesting sensations without going too far. And she includes safety information, plus a section on how to deal with problems, which also made me feel safer trying this.

The most useful thing to me, as a beginner, is her information on how to design a scene so that you know what you want to do when, and how, and what effect you're looking for. There's a lot of information on the psychology of dominance, and on the various types of dominance that you might try - you may find that only some of them appeal to you, but there should be something there for everyone! I'm really enjoying learning to practice female domination - and this book is a great introduction!

PS--My husband loves it too. That's the amazing thing. It *really* works!

I am sure it sounds trite, but this book changed my life. I have been married for 12 years to a man who is submissive and it was not until I read this book that I finally understood that he was not "weak" because he was this way. He is very masculine and in a very masculine profession, but this book taught me that being dominated is a way to have a release from that sort of life and I am very glad to Dominate my husband for our enjoyment. Our marriage has improved 100% since I found this book. There is no greater gift than being able to respect and understand your partner and Mistress Lorelai helped me do so.

I bought this book back in '94 and it is wonderfull. It's everything the author says and more but most importantly (for me)- it is one of the few books that stresses that this should be done for the couple's MUTUAL pleasure. I also think it may be the only book out there that comes from a mongamous loving relationship viewpoint - not that is the only way to go in this lifestyle but very rarely talked about. It's fun, HUMAN, and very very helpfull. I have recommend the books to others - no complaints so far. Screw the Roses is the best book out there. This, IMO is a close second. The writer's hubbie must be a lucky man indeed.... (HieroV@aol.com)

I bought this book and "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women" but "the Mistress Manual" is a much better book.
It is concisely written, intelligently crafted and directly to the point. The other book "Art of Sensual Female Dominance" is at times overly wordy, vulgar and clumsily written.
When reading about a topic like this, where your imagination fuels what the author writes, Mistress Manual is only 170 pages but tells you all you need to know to get started.

Consulting with your mistress you can both figure out the rest. I bought this book for my girlfriend who is now my loving mistress whom I serve happily. The book is well enough written for beginners to get some ideas to get started. Have fun!

I work in the capacity of a personal and professional growth coach with a very sex positive approach. I find that when people have issues, they often show up eventually in the bedroom. I also have an assumption that our society has both a fascination with sex and at the same time a lot of guilt, shame and ignorance around it, especially areas involving sexual fantasies.

As a psychological professional, I see that shame and guilt around certain fantasies often leads to acting out. Husbands and wives are often reticent to share some of their fantasies because of shame and this creates a barrier between them. In my practice, I have found honest, humor and a safe environment leads to increased intimacy and a safe space to explore new behaviors that enhance intimacy.

In our culture, women often feel disempowered and sometimes they fantasize about turning the tables. A lot of men find this interesting too and sometimes even pay for it because they are too ashamed to discuss this desire with their wife or partner. While there is a lot of material out there on this topic and other related topics, not all of them are equal.

I came across this book accidentally in a bookstore and picked it up and started reading it. I found it entertaining and it had some ideas that I laughed at and others that sounded very interesting. This book also explored five archetypal fantasies that form the basis of many men's fantasies with respect to a woman being dominant. This was an interesting discussion and it lead deeper into the territory of how to discuss these fantasies with a partner and use this material to spice up your sexual communication and sex life.

This title is geared to conversative couples who want to wade slowly into exploring new sexual territory. As such, it is an excellent start. I personally believe that although sex is to be taken very seriously, it also important to balance this with humor and a sense of playfulness. This book has this type of approach and would be good for a lot of couples interested in this area to explore together.

Also, as part of my work I deal with people who have sexual addictions, sexual co-dependency, etc. I think there is potential in many sexual activities to go too far and the area of domination/submission role playing is no exception. However, like most things, it can be fun and beneficial in moderation. What moderation is depends upon each individual couple and what they co-create together as a safe space for sexual play.

I would love to see a world where people were less inhibited and open to learning more about their psyche and needs through the safe and open exploration of their fantasies. What we repress, we often act out and try to work out on the outside. Also, these fantasies sometimes point to deep needs, past wounds and provide compensatory mechanisms in the psyche.

If you want to introduce a partner who is shy or inhibited, but that you suspect has an interest in this area, this is probably the best book you can start with. If you are into the scene already, it may be a lot of material you've already seen. However, it's a nice, brief introduction to a taboo topic and I appreciate the sex positive approach.

I am currently doing research in the area of healthy sexuality and some must have books I've come across are YOUR EROTIC MIND, THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE and DARK EROS. I think it is very important to explore the entire psyche and seek integration rather than cutting off or being ashamed of kinks or desire that other people might find as odd. These books that I mentioned above will help you to understand why you have the types of fantasies you have, where they come from, what they might mean and help you to develop a healthy realtionship to them.

If anyone has any questions, doubts of how to do femdom, or where to start a scene, this book tells how. This work by Lorelei is the best how-to that I've read. I recommend it for any of the ladies out there who are uncertain about "femdom". This book will show you how to have fun with female dominance

Many books will show you how to be a dom, but few will tell you why. This book accurately explains some of the psyches of the sub. When you understand the motivations behind your scene, the enactment is much more enjoyable for both parties. It is a great beginner book, but also a good read for mid-level doms (and subs) as it is articulate in explaining the emotional state of the submissive in different contexts.

If your lover has asked you to engage in BDSM or erotic roleplay and you've never really had an interest yourself OR you are the lover and you're looking for a little intro book to help out your would-be-domme, this book could be helpful for you. The author has put in considerable effort to explain the why's and how's of Dominance/submission - and tries to make it seem okay/"normal" to someone who may be nervous or concerned about engaging in BDSM or erotic roleplay.

However, if you have even the slightest dominant inclination, interest or experience, this book will be a waste of time and money. If you are already into BDSM and feel good about it, then you've already passed this book by.