Mixed Blessings: Overcoming the Stumbling BLocks in an Interfaith Marriage [Paperback]

Paul Cowan (Author), Rachel Cowan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 1988

While a couple is dating and falling in love, religion usually does not seem a great barrier, but with marriage and children, problems surface. The authors explore the difficulties of such a relationship.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The authors explore the endemic vicissitudes of interfaith marriage. PW said that "despite their avowed bias as committed Jews, the Cowans are fairminded and compassionate, and interfaith couples, their families and the clergy will appreciate this authoritative, practical work."
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (November 1, 1988)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0140111891
• ISBN-13: 978-0140111897
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,111,037 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars One-sided and only marginally helpful, January 17, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Mixed Blessings: Overcoming the Stumbling BLocks in an Interfaith Marriage (Paperback)

Paul and Rachel Cowan would have made this book a little less confusing if they had stated their biases more clearly at the beginning of the book. I was looking for a supportive book about negotiating the ins and outs of interfaith relationships. Instead, I found this book's tone to be somewhat disapproving. The Cowan's message seems to be: "If you're going to get into an interfaith relationship, it will be an struggle each and every day. In order to make the relationship work and do the right thing, the Christian partner should subvert his/her identity as much as possible."

The Cowans do a terrific job of describing the larger forces at work: Jewish history, sociological pressures, family dynamics. And the book did help me deepen my understanding of the competing pressures that my Jewish partner faces. Truly, it was worth reading for that alone. But ultimately, it left me feeling as though my perspective and needs as the (marginally) Christian partner are less valid.

Love exists within the framework of history, between members of groups who have at times been the oppressed or the oppressor. But it also exists between two individuals, whose intentions can be honest, pure, and full of deep concern about the survival of the Jewish people. To reduce that love to a sociological trend (or mere curiosity about the "exotic other," which they do repeatedly) and to put one partner's concerns so far above the other's, did me a painful disservice.

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Very Biased, March 18, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Mixed Blessings: Overcoming the Stumbling BLocks in an Interfaith Marriage (Paperback)

Don't buy this book unless you are a Christian planning on converting. The authors really don't give a balanced view since the wife converted to Judiasm. A better title for the book would be "The sooner you convert the better." I would recommend books from Dovetail publishers if you want to be truly helped in this serious and emotionaly involved topic.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Biased and Uncompromising, May 30, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Mixed Blessings: Overcoming the Stumbling BLocks in an Interfaith Marriage (Paperback)

While I appreciate the thoroughness with which the Cowans present and explore the very real complications that can arise from an interfaith marriage, I was disappointed by the clear one-sidedness of their discussion. In particular, I found their descriptions of the religious lives and heritages of the Christian partners they cite to be an unfair and unflattering charicature of the richness that Christianity can bring to a household. Almost without exception, the Cowans refer to people whose Christian upbringing was at best uninspiring, at worst, oppressive. Due to this bias, I found their book to be only marginally useful in any attempt to find a way to embrace both the Jewish and Christian traditions and to discover paths by which interfaith couples might support each other in a spirit of mutual respect. This book has a clear agenda: to convert the Christian partner to Judaism. If dialogue and open-mindedness are what you seek, I suggest you check out The Interfaith Family Guide Book from Dovetail Publishing. In this generation, Jews and Christians who love each other are, I think, seeking alternatives to the exclusivism of the past. Help and counsel are available. I'm afraid, however, that Mixed Blessings is not the best place to find it.