Customer Reviews

Moderate Drinking: The Moderation Management (TM) Guide for People Who Want to Reduce Their Drinking

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I bought this book in 1997 as I was becoming increasingly aware that I could not control my drinking. I did not want to go to AA or quit drinking forever. However, I tried this program and simply could not stop for 30 days (the initial pre-requisit). So, as a last resort, I went to AA. During my first week of sobriety, I went to a Moderation Management meeting. It was very small, maybe 5 people. And run by a professional counsellor. Every single person in the meeting had stories about how their drinking was still out of control, but they were learning more about themselves. It just made me sad, to be honest.

At the end of my first 30 days in AA, I had no desire to try social drinking. And here's why. For the first time in my life I could see how my brain worked and how uncomfortable I was in my own skin. I had been masking that uncomfortable feeling for years with alcohol. And I was not a DUI, job-losing, homeless drunk. I was a drink myself to sleep at night kind of guy. Which leads me to this: I believe this program and this book may be very helpful to some people. Just not me. And I would urge anyone with a drinking problem to try it, because if you do end up in AA, you will want to feel confident that you have tried everything you can to control and enjoy your drinking. If, in fact, you can control and enjoy your drinking, then good for you!

As for me, I heard a statement early on that stuck with me. It said that when alcohol is taken away from the problem drinker, the problem is solved. But when alcohol is taken away from the alcoholic, the problem is revealed. That, for me, was the main reason this book/program didn't work for me.

Bottom line: If you have a drinking problem, give this method a try. Give therapy a try. And if nothing else works, you will always be welcomed at AA.

You don't buy a book like this unless you have had some problems with alcohol. I found the author's approach quite helpful, but I suspect if you have SEVERE drinking problems...numerous DWIs, job failures, and the like...this book is probably not for you; go with AA.

The book proposes that there is an in-between solution besides total abstinence for people who drink too much. An alternative approach to the "total surrender" ethic of AA is offered. The entire regimen is described by the phrase "Moderation Management" which pretty well says it all.

By the way, there is a MM group online where the principles outlined in the book are hashed out.

These aren't even reviews.

While I do not subscribe to all the helpful hints in this book I found its principles to be lifesaving and my doctors could not be happier. AA never worked for me. AA saved the lives of people I love however.

That there is a group of people out there happy that Audrey Kishline has failed to uphold all of her ideals and failed in such a horrible way is sick. Nothing could be worse, but it is not where the story begins or ends. AA too has had its failures and deaths which resulted from those failures, but we do not point a finger at AA. AA is one very extraordinary approach, this is another approach and one path does not work for everyone. Quit being so militant and return to being human beings.

If you have an opinion about the book, write it, otherwise this isn't the place for such arguments.

The book contains excellent advice for people with mild drinking problems, encouraging them to become more aware of their patterns and their responses to alcohol, instead of just indulging without a thought. I especially like the fact that the author encourages people to stay completely abstinent for a time (though personally I think it should be longer than the recommended 30 days) and then, before they institute the conscious moderation plan, to make a commitment to pursue a total abstinence program if they find the moderation guidelines to be impossible or too difficult to follow.In fact, Ms. Kishline followed the guidelines in this book when, after 7 years of successfully moderating, she came into a serious problem-drinking phase of her life, and true to MM, she publically announced that she was having difficulty and had decided to pursue abstinence. Too bad the program she chose to, in her words, "enhance her sobriety", was AA. Obviously AA did not inspire her to make an absinence commitment, and as she later said, even though she had been an AA member for months, she didn't feel she could tell anyone about her nightly binge drinking.It's a disgrace that AA members would use this tragedy to proclaim "proof" that MM doesn't work, that this book is "dangerous", or that MM caused the fatal accident. She wasn't even a member of MM at the time, she was an AA'er! My only complaint about this book, in fact, is that it does not mention the many abstinence-based programs and therapies OTHER THAN AA available for people who decide that indeed abstinence is the better goal for them.

Audrey Kishline did indeed follow her own advice. She realized some time before the accident that after successfully moderating her own drinking, she was NO LONGER able to moderate. Possibly, that was due to some very real and significant life changes she was experiencing at the time, but that's just my speculation. She advised the MM group of her decision. Then she joined AA. Let me repeat that: Audrey Kishline was in AA at the time of her drunk driving accident. Audrey Kishline had decided that MM did not work for her at the time of her accident.

Just wanted to make that clear.

MM is hard work, but it does work for some people.

I am an ex-drinker.

I recognised about 10 years ago that I had a "drink problem", and have tried most of the methods for either quitting or moderating alcohol consumption.

I think the whole concept of "moderate" or "controlled" drinking is a total joke. Drinking is about relaxing and letting go, so what would even be the point of drinking if you are at the same time trying to estimate your BAC, and keep a disciplined count of how many drinks you have had. It flies in the face of reason and sanity.

I recommend all people grappling with the problem of heavy drinking to buy, read and practice what is preached in this book. I have.

Then when you are ready for the 100% abstinence solution, you will not be distracted by wistful longings for a half-way house solution that does not exist.

If you can drink moderately, you would not even be on this site and reading reviews of this type of book.

kevin

Having seen the aftermath of Ms Kishline's accident, I decided to buy the book to see if any of what she said could work.The concept of a controlled alcoholic has always been very intriging to me.
I found the book excellent and I truly believe the concept could work for anyone who catches themselves in time before becoming a full fledged alcoholic.
Those of us who know better, don't try it. An alcoholic can never drink, in spite of our best intentions. Yes we can cut back, quit, whatever but it won't last.
Still, it was a fantastic book and I'm glad I read it.

I read this book in Feb 1998 when I thought I had "had enough" and wanted to fix my problem drinking. I wanted to take care of it before it got worse. I read the book, thought it was great, signed up for the newsgroup, and everything. I quit drinking for 30 days just like it said, but then I went straight back to my old habits. It was as if I said "I quit for 30 days, I'm fine!". It wasn't until September 1999 that I decided that I really HAD had enough and decided to quit drinking all together. Surely that would be better than the current way. I went to AA but I don't go there anymore as I didn't feel I fit in. I just decided that this life is better. I'm glad I didn't stay with MM - who are we kidding; if we think we have a problem, it's probably to the degree of needing to quit drinking. There have been several instances of people trying MM who have serious problems; i.e. the current tragedy with Audrey, and others. It's a nice idea, but either you drink normally (and therefore would never have any reason to look for a book such as this) or you don't and it's up to you to decide what to do about it. I wish everyone the best of luck. I do recommend a book called The Thinking Person's Guide to Sobriety by Bert Pluymen if you consider yourself a problem drinker....he tells it in a down to earth way and makes you wonder why you'd even want to drink if it causes problems.

Don't do this if you have a real drinking or substance abuse problem. If you're just drinking a little too much but aren't an addict in ANY way, go for it. But if you REALLY have a problem with any addictive behaviors this will just enable you.

I know an AA who was sober for 10 years in AA and was visited by one of his old using partners that practices HARM reduction and Moderate Drinking only for 2 or 3 years (but is a billionair anyway so hasn't much accountability in her life). This AA decided to try this new approach. Within 3 months he was arrested for cruising in a public park, lost his partner of 3 years that he adored and his job was reviewing him for his lack of attendence. Truly tragic. And he rationalised all of it that it was all someone elses fault in each situation and actually became abusive towards other friends. This person had come so far in his 10 years sober and had become a reliable, much more honest and caring person as a result of the 12 steps (I saw it personally). Maybe he didn't see the great change in him but others did and now he's a selfish, lying, manipulative Addict that rationalizes all his behavior.

And by the way the people that refer to "percentages" about AA in their comments are full of it! You can't have "percentages" on alcoholics anonymous because no one is registered or has their progress checked so you're just trying to falsly justify yourself by putting down the program. The people this works for are most likely just "Heavy Drinkers" which AA does take into account. Heavy Drinkers aren't alcoholics. And there are also some alcoholics people that manage to get sober on there own, but they usually end up being sort of narcissists that never get over there own self-centerdness and inability to be honest. Like my friend described here who has become someone I don't want to know anymore. Maybe there are other answers out there but I'm not impressed with the results of THIS program. Like the woman who wrote this book that killed people while drunk driving... IMPRESSIVE! And to answer people's comments that she had been in AA for 1 month... means she didn't have time to do the steps so never "worked" the AA program. Going to meetings for a month doesn't cut it. If you care about yourself or your loved ones that have addictions don't enable them with this. And I'm not excluding the fact that there maybe other ways to get and stay sober than AA but fooling yourself that you can "Manage" your addictions while still using is just tragic.

Use your common sense people!

i bought this book knowing i had a problem with alcohol, and i tried following the principals set down in it. Yet, my drinking only got worse. I did not want to admit i was an alcoholic, but the only way i was able to quit drinking was by going to AA and surrendering the fight against alcohol. To my amazement, the problem was removed from me and I no longer struggle with alcohol.

For a while though, i wondered if i couldn't have gotten sober if somehow i had just followed this moderation management program a little more carefully. And yet i knew that was a lie. Getting a hobby, or keeping a journal of my drinks was not going to keep me sober. I knew that deep inside. And lo and behold, it couldn't keep its author sober either. This book cries out like an out-of-control ego against surrender. it is like a dying gasp, a desperate attempt to rationalize away one's problems. It did not surprise me in the least to see in the Seattle Times that its author has been booked on charges of vehicular manslaughter while driving under the influence.

Alcoholism is an insidious, and patient disease. Even if you write a book and start up chapters all across the country to validate your viewpoint, the disease is still waiting for you -- along with its ramifications. God knows, I and many other alcoholics wish this were not the case. But it is. The author of this poorly researched book might even be willing to admit to that at this point.