The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses & Ringless Carousers (Paperback)

by Phineas Mollod (Author), Jason Tesauro (Author) "Badge of sexual savvy or tattoo of indecency?..." (more)
Key Phrases: modern lover, new dad, New Year, Horse Latitudes, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Men’s Health columnists Mollod and Tesauro want to raise the word "lover" to a broad respectability that connotes all the steps of the male-female relationship, from courtship through marriage and even fatherhood. This "twenty-something whistle-stop tour of amorous experiences" is thus a complement to their previous book, The Modern Gentleman. Despite the gentlemanly pretense, though, things aren’t off-puttingly proper. The authors believe in wild oats and are full of advice for sowing them: comparing women to wines, for instance, they suggest trying "the mellowness of experience" as well as the "exuberance of youth," and the pleasures of oral sex are not neglected. The writing is generally a bit heavy on food metaphors—lots of tenderloin, dry fruit and even Campbell’s soup (the quickie, which is highly recommended)—and rather too dense with metaphor in general. Furthermore, the sex tips can be more atmospheric than technically explicit. But young bachelors in search of mores rather than morals will find some playful and even sound advice here. A warning to women who want to peek: this book is definitely for men only: you may not like finding yourself referred to as a "between-meal snack" (no matter how "tasty") or stereotyped as the "flamboyant butterfly" or the "firestarter."
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Review
...a huge cut above the usual self-help dreck, and it's saved from self-importance by its utter hilarity. -- San Francisco Chronicle

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Ten Speed Press; illustrated edition edition (October 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1580086012
• ISBN-13: 978-1580086011
• Product Dimensions: 7 x 5.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #213,112 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Men who know Women, January 11, 2005

By	Hip Mom (Anchorage, AK) - See all my reviews

Finally, there are men on the relationship scene who can talk about the ins and outs of more than just the ol' in-n-out. I've never read anything so meaningful--and, frankly, hysterical--on P'Whipped partners or Living in Sin. These guys skip the usual crap on playiing games in romance and get right down to the foundations and funnies of love's nuances. The chapter on weddings is absolutely the best thing written on modern nuptials and without a doubt captures all that's wrong with by-the-book, cookie-cutter weddings that most everyone falls victim to without Bohemian sensibilities or matured tastes to mitigate parental influence.

The writing is exceptional. In fact, I first read about the authors in Writer's Digest. As a married woman and mother, I especially appreciate the tips on long-term love that you'll never find in some Idiot's Guide to a Happy Marriage or one of those sappy fall-in-love-every-day books. They even got the childbirth parts dead on.

Metrosexuals are all the rage, but who knew MetroDads were in vogue?? Way to go. Ladies, these men have learned something and they'll tell the other boys what to do with a spoonful of humor that makes the medicine go down.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gentler and Better than Before, January 20, 2005

By	Ronberg from Rivadale "Ronberg from Rivadale" (NYC United States) - See all my reviews

This one was even better and wittier than the original Modern Gentlemen text. Very witty and useful at the same time. One of those books you can read several times over like a funny reference book. I enoyed it so much I purchased 19Great copies for my officemates. Good job, Gentlemen.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars witty and enlightening, November 4, 2004

By	Biblio Babe (Vermont) - See all my reviews

The authors of The Modern Gentleman have penned another great book for the ever (hopefully) evolving man. The Modern Lover offers insight into the male psyche as well as copious advice and behavorial guidelines. There are plenty of trite "gift books" that find a permanent home wedged behind the toilet and the wall, for occasional one-liners and "how to's"; not very helpful.

It wasn't until The Modern Gentleman was published that I finally found a book with some meat in it, something I could offer to my up and coming brother that would truly help him polish his social and cultural skills. The Modern Lover is the perfect follow up. Having covered the basics of dating in the first book, TML digs deeper into the complexities of a maturing relationship, starting with how to recognize when the chemistry is there. (I think the authors presume a certain level of intelligence among their readers, and honestly ladies, isn't that what you want in a man? For the beau with a growing intellect there is plenty of inspriration to enlighten oneself.)

As a married woman, I really appreciate the section on Toys and Tolerances. It offers some fun and naughty suggestions for adding some spice to the bedroom, in turn strenghtening the marital bond, which the authors cleverly refer to as the "We Cycle". As a mother, one of my favorite sections is New Dad. Tesauro and Mollod offer very honest info on what the "First 100 Days" are like and how to be sensitive to the new mother's needs while taking care of himself. It's a scary but managable time and great that a (prospective) father can get some straightforward insight from another man.

All in all, I loved this book and think it's just as good a read for women as it is for men. The authors cover a lot of topics, so many different types of relationships and inspire the reader to be a more "Evolved Bachelor", all the while maintaining his personal style. The charts, graphs and illustrations are fun too.