Customer Reviews

Modern Vampires

5 star:		(38)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

Modern Vampires brought standing ovations at the Fantasia Film Festival this summer and was voted the "audience favorite" award out of ninety selections. It also had the largest number of walkouts. It isn't every day that a film grabs people so viscerally (and I just purchased my DVD, which has great behind-the-scenes commentary, etc.). Modern Vampires is definitely not for right-wing Puritans, left-wing Political Correct Police, or drooling Beavis and Butthead types who just want to see bosoms and gore - although this film has it's share of that. This movie is a marvelous satire on society, with something to offend almost everybody. It also has a touching love story between Casper Van Dien and Natasha Gregson Wagner with a Pygmalion twist, kind of a "My Fair Vampire" tale. The self rightous Van Helsing (mighty Rod Stieger) and his crew of streetwise gangbangers (lead by the amazing Gabriel Casseus) sends this well crafted plot into high gear. This has to be the most original vampire movie ever. My friends and I loved every second and will watch it many times.

Well, well. I picked up this DVD and have not been more surprised in a long time. Now, I am a huge movie fan (as most of you are) and see A LOT of movies. Now, given the dreck that is mainstreamed these days, it's a damn shame Modern Vampires was direct to video. But for this who catch it, it is a great find. Not only a nice take on the vampire genre, liberally campy of course, it is just down right hilarious. I have not proceeded to laugh out loud at a film in quite some time. Supplied with the fact that I couldn't believe the number of "known" actors in the film. From the likes of legends like Rod Steiger and Udo Kier, to young upstarts Natasha Watson and Casper Van Dien (forget Starship Troopers, he is even better here, and gets to show some range). Toss in perennial supporters like Rob Passtorelli and Kim Catrall and a host of others. Bottom line: this movie is a hidden gem. And forget the ridiculous packaging. It is completely misleading. Oh, and if you have a DVD player, get that version. The commentary track with Van Dien and Director Elfman is one of the most entertaining anf funny AND informative I have run across. Get bit by Modern Vampires and I promise, you too will believe....

This movie is deliberately, carefully, precicely made to be absolutely awful. And because it's supposed to be so bad, because no effort is made to make it a dramatic great, it's perfect. It's got some great ideas - I LOVE the vampire hunters and the take on Van Helsing.

This movie is, in it's way, seamless. I put off getting it for so long, despite Amazon popping it into my recommendations every other day for a year; and now that I have it I'm glad.

It's evenly paced, cheerful, full of action, a little love story, some bloody murder, utterly horrible special effects and some synthisyzer-dubbed wildcat screams. You can't take it seriously, and you're not supposed to. But for all that, it's very well made.

This is a hard film to describe, and may not be for the meek of mind or heart. It is a satire of immense and completely insane dimensions. The cast is all great, especially Casper Van Dien and Rod Steiger as the famous vampire hunter, Dr. Van Helsing. I am still laughing when I think about the gang bangers getting romantic with the "she-monster." This film is an original.

Modern Vampires is the hippest, sexiest, most outrageous vampire movie that I have ever seen. Casper Van Dien plays the coolest vampire. Rod Steiger does an excellent take on Dr. Van Helsing, the famous vampire hunter. When Van Helsing unwittingly hires gang bangers as his assistants, all hell breaks loose. It is an absolute romp. The scene where the gang bangers gang bang a hideous monster (played by Kim Catrall from Sex in the City) is not to be believed! Do not miss this film.

I cant NOT recommend this enough. This is without a doubt the worst film in the history of horror movies, well movies all together. The movie has a plot that falls apart in the first 30 seconds, and from there on its torture.

I would recommend that anyone whos curious about this movie, let me put it this way - I would rather bang my head against a wall for a few days then to sit through another minute of this movie!

This movie is a riot. It involves an alternate vampire world a la Buffy or Anita Blake, but does not take itself too seriously. If you've seen the Steve Martin movie "LA Story", this is the LA Story world with vampires. The acting is sometimes wonderfully over the top (Kim Cattrall from "Sex in the City", Rod Steiger as Van Helsing and Craig Ferguson as a terrific British Vamp) sometimes merely adequate (Casper Van Dien of course), but its the ridiculous situational comedy scenes that make this movie.

Modern Vampires has TUNS of terrifically bizarre scenes. The "people as food" motif is hilariously done in an LA sort of way. You have a crazed Dr. Van Helsing aided by Crypts gang members going after bizarre fun-loving and weird LA Vamps, who are themselves enmeshed in trying to help a trailer park trash vamp (played well by Natasha Gregson Wagner) in learning how to be civilized while not incurring the wrath of the local head vamp who wants her "dead."

For a T&A rating, this movie gets a big 2 thumbs up. There is a good sprinkling of jovial and perky nakedness throughout that helps makes this movie a nice grade-B gem. While Modern Vampires did not make it to the big screen, it certainly deserves to be watched at home. 5 stars on the B-grade movie scale.

Very entertaining low budget film about, you guessed it, modern vampires. Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers) stars and is supported by a weird and wonderful cast overacting for all they're worth. Rod Steiger is particularly guilty of hamming it up as an amazingly manic Dr Van Helsing.

Although the plot does get a little lost and the big bad guy is never much of a threat, this film is not only saved by the talents of the lovely Kim Cattrall (Porkys, Star Trek 6) and the insane Craig Ferguson, but it's transformed into what could easily be a cult classic.

More silly than scary, but very enjoyable...

Modern Vampires is a brilliant little satire. It is a gem of an offbeat art movie. But the sleazeballs who released it ought to be arrested, as they TOTALLY MISREPREPRESENT the film with blatant BLADE ripoffs, etc. The film is NOTHING AT ALL LIKE BLADE. Blade was straight ahead, big budget, horror action. Modern Vampires is an an audacious, subtle masterpiece that satirizes society. The art on the cover has people not in the film, acting serious, holding "blades" that one never sees in the film. So much for DEVIOUS ADVERTISING. The film is great if you want off the wall humor and subversive attitudes. But if you want a slickster like BLADE, please don't be fooled by the deliberately misleading attempt to trick people into buying apples whent they expected oranges. This film is totally original and not for everyone. I found it brilliant!!

Not as fun as I thought it would be, I gave it to a friend right after. Humor seemed a bit forced, like some of the cast was embarrassed to be there, not that they didn't have reason...Or I might have just had a bad day, who knows.