"Mom, Dad . . . I'm Pregnant": When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy [Paperback]

Jayne E Schooler (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 17, 2004

Unplanned teen pregnancies impact the entire family. This book chronicles the story of one such a family, from initial heartbreak and shock to a new level of love and spiritual commitment.
Includes expert advice and spiritual insights.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"Mom, Dad...I'm Pregnant." These are words you never want to hear from your unmarried daughter. In an instant, your dreams and hopes for your daughter or son permanently change. You feel battered by an array of conflicting emotions. What you and your family need now more than ever is compassion, understanding, and direction. Long-time educator, writer, and speaker on family life issues, Jayne Schooler offers a comprehensive guide to the challenges faced by parents of children who experience unplanned pregnancies. As a mother and grandmother, Jayne also chronicles her own family's experience--from the initial heartbreak and shock upon hearing her daughter's news to a new level of love, maturity, and spiritual commitment. By sharing her own story and those of other parents, as well as the expertise of a broad range of professionals, Jayne offers deep insight and hope to those who need to know that God's love and grace is readily available for all.

About the Author

Jayne E. Schooler is the author of four other books, including the award-winning Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child, with Betsy Keefer. A nationally known educator, writer, and speaker on family life issues, Jayne regularly conducts workshops and brings insight and empathy to audiences of both families and professionals. She holds a master's degree in life issues counseling from the Master's Graduate School of Divinity. Jayne and her husband, David, live in Dayton, Ohio.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: NavPress (September 17, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576834824
• ISBN-13: 978-1576834824
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #426,975 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

We invite you to visit our website for training schedule: www.jayneschooler.com
AND our blog dandjschooler.blogspot.com

Jayne E. Schooler, an enthusiastic supporter of families formed by adoption or foster care currently serves as a international trainer, consultant, and curriculum writer with the Institute for Human Services in Columbus, Ohio. She has partnered with Casey Family Programs, the National Foster Parent Association, Spaulding for Children and the National Council for Adoption in writing and training projects. Her unique experience as both a foster/adoptive parent and adoption professional offers her audiences credible experience and support.

Jayne has over 25 years of experience in working with and speaking to families and professionals in child welfare, first as a foster parent, then as an adoptive parent, adoption professional and educator. Jayne's first book, The Whole Life Adoption Book,(1993 and revised 2008) is required reading for adoption agencies around the country. She is also the author of Searching for a Past,(1995) and co-author of an award-winning book, Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child.(2000) and Journeys after Adoption (2002) and Mom, Dad, I'm Pregnant" When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy.(2004) Her newest book project, Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Parents was released January, 2010.

Since 1989, Jayne has been a keynote speaker and workshop presenter on family life issues as well as foster and adoptive parent issues on state, national, and international levels for both families and professionals. She has made guest appearances on over three dozen radio talk shows across the country, speaking on adoption and family life issues. She was selected as the 2006 Trainer of the Year for the Ohio Child Welfare training program and also awarded the Distinguished Service in Training award (2006) by the National Staff Development and Training Association.

Jayne's international work has taken her to Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, and in 2010, her speaking and consultation expands to Poland and New Zealand. This is cooperation with the International Leadership and Development Center headquartered in Canada. One of her books have been translated into Russian (Telling the Truth) and plans are in the works for two others - in Russian and Polish.

In addition to her training and writing responsibilities, Jayne also serves as a faculty member in the Life Issues Counseling Department of the Master's International School of Divinity in Evansville, Indiana. She and her husband, Dr. David Schooler, are the parents of two adult children, Ray, age 43 who joined their family by adoption at age 16, and a daughter, Kristy, 33 and grandparents of three.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful book full of advice, encouragement, and information, November 2, 2004

By 

FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: "Mom, Dad . . . I'm Pregnant": When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy (Paperback)

The whole day is fuzzy in my memory. The conversation between my sister and I is even a bit hazy around the edges. I think we were in the car on the way to Walgreens. But I do remember the date. Christmas Eve 1999. Nothing changed that day, but I learned that a lot of things would change soon. It was the day my little sister, then 19, told me she was pregnant.

I wasn't there when she broke the news to our parents a few weeks later, but I have been there over the last four years to see our family come together to cope with and then celebrate the addition of Morgan Mackenzie to our family. So it was with great personal interest that I picked up MOM, DAD...I'M PREGNANT: When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy.

The book is written by Jayne E. Schooler, whose own daughter, Kristy, got pregnant while she was a 21-year-old college student. She describes the experience this way:

"A husband and wife planned and saved all of their lives for the trip of their dreams. They wanted to go to Italy. Carefully saving each spare dime or dollar, they prepared for the journey. They learned the language. They studied the culture. They purchased just the right clothes for the season they would be there. The day finally came and they boarded the plane. After many hours in the air, the flight attendant announced, 'We will soon be landing. Welcome to Holland.'

Startled, the woman frantically pushed the call button, shouting 'There's some mistake. We are supposed to be landing in Italy.'

The flight attendant, attempting to calm the woman, explained, 'This plane does not go to Italy.'

Quite sure that they had simply erred when boarding the plane, the husband asked when the next plane would leave for Italy. The flight attendant replied, 'Sir, I am sorry, there are no planes to Italy.'

Disappointed beyond belief, the husband and wife looked at each other. 'It wasn't supposed to be this way,' they cried.

It wasn't supposed to be this way... 'Holland' is not the place this couple planned to be. 'Holland' is not the place where hundreds of thousands of parents facing an unplanned pregnancy with a daughter or son want to be either."

She goes on to set up the premise for her book:

"Parents have two choices when they arrive in 'Holland.' They can remain disappointed, angry, and embittered, thus missing all that God has for them at this rerouted destination. Or they can, through God's mercy and grace, embrace all that God has for them as He is allowed to rebuild and restore the family."

It's the second decision that Schooler advocates, and her book is a detailed map to help parents navigate the streets of "Holland." She candidly shares her own experience with Kristy, who decided to keep her child with the help of her parents. But the book also thoroughly surveys all of the different options open to families caught off guard by an unplanned pregnancy.

Chapters explore issues such as the pros and cons of adoptions, the challenges of three-generational living, coping when grandparents become parents --- again, and the long-term impact of abortion on the family. Especially helpful is Schooler's inclusion of the issues specific to paternal grandparents. Unfortunately, the young man involved in the pregnancy, and his family, is often left out of discussions concerning what to do about an unplanned pregnancy.

Chock full of heartfelt stories, solid advice and helpful resources, MOM, DAD...I'M PREGNANT is a valuable book that is sure to provide much-needed information and encouragement for parents, and older sisters, who thought they were on their way to Italy only to find themselves in Holland.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A long needed view of unplanned pregnancy, October 25, 2004

By 

Helen C. Ervin (Tallahassee, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: "Mom, Dad . . . I'm Pregnant": When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy (Paperback)

As an adoption professional, I wish I had had this resource 36 years ago when I first started out in the field of adoption and pregnancy counseling. This is a book we have needed for a long time. It is wonderful for both those family members directly effected by an unplanned pregnancy as well as professionals in the field, lay persons, clergy and pregnancy resource centers. What healing it can bring to women and men who are faced with a crisis pregnancy and to their families, friends, faith community and other persons we may not even realize are touched by the situation! Jayne touched my soul and opened my eyes to issues I had not realized even with 36 years of experience. The families' stories are very encouraging and give hope to an often devastating experience for a family. Thank you, Jayne. We all needed to hear this!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Lots of personal stories to identify with, October 6, 2004

By 

Lynellen Perry "lynellenDOTcom" (Dumfries, VA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: "Mom, Dad . . . I'm Pregnant": When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy (Paperback)

Jayne Schooler is a long-time educator about adoption and foster care. Also a pastor's wife, she relates her family's experiences with a pregnant 21-year-old daughter in college. Using lots of quotes from experts and stories from other families she has interviewed, Schooler talks about responding to the crisis of unplanned preganncy. This book is for parents of both the pregnant young woman and the young man: several chapters focus on the issues faced by a family whose son is part of an unplanned pregnancy. Other chapters talk about the long-term impact of abortion; the option of adoption; the challenges of three-generational living; shedding secrets; and restoring the family. There are three appendices with contact information for helpful organizations.

Readers might also enjoy a workbook-style book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" by Linda Perry, which aims at practical advice and steps to take in addition to personal stories as featured in this book.