Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting [Paperback]

Paula Spencer (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 5, 2006

Lose the Guilt, Love Your Instincts

If the latest “breakthrough” child-development theory, parenting technique, or child-appropriate diet makes you worry or groan (or just want to lie down for a nap), it’s time to make way for Momfidence! Paula Spencer, parenting expert and mother of four, provides refreshing, down-to-earth proof that most of the business of raising confident, healthy children involves nothing more complicated that trusting your instincts, using common sense, and above all, hanging on to your humor.


Momfidence! is:

•Using “perfect” only to describe such wonders as a ripe peach, a cloudless day at the beach, or a husband who does diapers and dinner. . . It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood.

•Recognizing that there are appropriate times and places for lying, yelling, threatening, bribing, and saying “I told you so”

•Sending yourself to time-out—preferably with chocolate and/or your spouse

•Being completely amnesiac about the day’s exasperating transgressions when you peek in your children’s bedrooms at night and watch them sleep


Based on her popular Woman’s Day and Parenting columns, Momfidence! explains how obsessing less and winging it more can keep you sane—and your kids healthy and happy. It’s a hilarious look at “perfect motherhood” that cuts parents a long-overdue break by reminding us that we’re not the amateurs here—we’re all experts, too.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When a lawyer in California tries to ban the sale of Oreos to minors, Paula Spencer comes to the rescue, showing how good old common sense trumps the "parenting experts" any day. The author and mother of four, who writes the "Momfidence" column in Woman's Day magazine, dispenses what she's learned on the job in an upbeat, funny and practical way: "There is no right or wrong way to do most of the business of parenting. There is, however, almost always a more expedient one." Debunking parenting overkill, Spencer provides helpful reality checks ("Every firstborn is a guinea pig") and reassuring tales of her own moments of doubt, poking fun along the way at health trends, safety angst and the overwhelming number of childhood experts ready to make your parenting decisions for you: "No matter how many tax dollars are being spent ... on researchers dissecting the minds, bodies and stomachs of our kids, raising a child will always be an art form, not a science." For Spencer, parenting is about mothers doing what works for them, losing their guilt and having confidence in their choices-whether that means bedtime at 8:00 p.m. sharp, drugging your kids with TV, or choosing to feed your picky child "whatever he will eat."
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"A breath of fresh, calming air. Spencer's experience has made her a true childrearing expert with a keen new insight: We're making the job harder than it has to be." —Linda Murray, Editor-in-Chief, Babycenter.com

“Paula Spencer has written the ultimate insider’s guide to life on Planet Mom–a book that is guaranteed to boost your ‘momfidence’ by the day. If you’re convinced that you’ve blown your nomination for Mother of the Year because your six year old has been wearing mismatched socks to school all week; your ten year old keeps sneaking contraband snack foods to school in his lunch bag; and the clutter in your house is breeding faster than the items on your ‘to do’ list, take note: Momfidence is your book.” —Ann Douglas, author, The Mother of All Pregnancy Books and The Mother of All Parenting Books

 “Finally! A mom who parents from her gut, not her guilt! Paula Spencer dares to trust her instincts and her common sense, while humorously inspiring readers to do the same. Advice as sensible as it is entertaining.” —John Rosemond, syndicated parenting columnist and author

“Being informed is one thing. Being overwhelmed is another. Written with warmth, humor and real-world wisdom, Momfidence reminds parents to keep the advice that works, leave what doesn’t, and cue in to those all-important instincts that help families grow, thrive and enjoy the ride.” —Debbie Glasser, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Founder of NewsForParents.org  

”Paula Spencer leads by example and does so hysterically.  I only wish I had a copy of this book when my children were younger.  Momfidence is a book every mother should keep close by for those inevitable "have I totally screwed up" moments. Momfidence is a great gift for every mom who needs some perspective. I love this book.” —Mimi Doe, award-winning author of Busy but Balanced and founder of SpiritualParenting.com.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (September 5, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307337421
• ISBN-13: 978-0307337429
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 7.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,081,609 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Paula Spencer Scott (formerly Paula Spencer) specializes in commonsense approaches to the key transitions in women's lives: relationships, marriage, pregnancy, parenting and child care, midlife self care, and eldercare. She's the author of "Momfidence," "The Pregnancy Journal," and a Parenting Magazine series. She's co-authored books with doctors at Harvard, UCLA, Duke University, and Arizona State, including "The Happiest Toddler on the Block," and "The V Book," and she was a consulting editor of "The BabyCenter Guide to Your Baby's First Year."

Currently a senior editor at Caring.com, she's also been a Woman's Day columnist ("Momfidence") and a longtime contributing editor to Parenting and Babytalk. In "Momfidence," she credits her unfashionable lack of paranoia about childrearing to having studied at the feet of the masters, both the tall (Spock, Brazelton, Sears, Ferber, Karp) and the small (her own four children). Her articles appear in major national media, and she speaks on parenting, eldercare, and writing (though seldom all three at the same time).

Scott lives in the San Francisco Bay area. Her websites are paulaspencerscott.com and momfidence.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Happy parent here! March 16, 2007

By Jennifer Stiner

Format:Paperback

"Momfidence" is what comes natural - before we're brainwashed by experts and pressured by the "mompetition". (Was that a quote from the book, or did I make it up? Either way, I truly believe it!)

This is by far the best parenting book I have ever read, and I am (or was) obsessed with anything written on the subject. Every mom in the world should read this book - with an OPEN mind. You can't take every single thing she writes literally people! I love Whole Foods, in fact, my husband and I are vegan and so is our little one, and I wasn't offended or aghast at any of her comments on the subject. You have to look at the big picture here. The irresponsible thing would be for someone to read this book and take everything word for word without using your own brain and gut to make decisions for your family.

I'm just so glad I got ahold of it as soon as I did. I've only got one little munchkin so far, and all the natural wisdom from this book will not be lost on her or any other of my future kiddos!

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Book! March 16, 2007

By Kathrine M. Kirk

Format:Paperback

This book was a breath of fresh air! It is a laugh-out-loud, fun book to read -- I found myself recounting many parts of the book to friends and family. We Moms can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, and this book was a great reminder that if we just relax and enjoy our kids they will turn out just fine! It's also a great confidence booster to realize that you're not alone -- the craziness involved with raising kids is something EVERY parent goes through.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting books from A- Z May 1, 2007

By H. Griffin

Format:Paperback

Okay... so here's how I see it. As a mother of five, I have prided myself on my seeminly endless efforts to become the "greatest mom ever"

If you were to look at my parenting section in my books shelf it would look something like this:

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING, WHAT TO EAT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING, WHAT TO EXPECT THE TODDLER YEARS,BABYWISE 1 AND 2, SO YOU WANT TO RAISE A BOY, LOVE AND LOGIC MAGIC FOR EARLY CHILDHOOD,THE STRONG WILLED CHILD, THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD, SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY, LOVE AND LOGIC-WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD LEAVES YOU SPEECHLESS, HOW TO BEHAVE SO YOU'RE CHILDREN WILL TOO, SUPERNANNY... AND FINALLY MOMFIDENCE. (plus about ten others stuffed in between.)

Do you see the pattern here? It wasn't until Momfidence that it finally all made sense. We make being a parent way too hard! The author's tell it like it is style of writing is so refreshing and funny. It's an easy read that any woman can relate too. Although I think it is funnier for a woman who has born and reared children.

Absolutely without a doubt- we mom's do not give ourselves enough credit- Thank you Paula for taking the guilt away and making parenting fun.

I can finally end my search for the perfect parenting book... cuz there ain't one out there. I'm just gonna relax, chill and enjoy the ride with my Momfidence in one hand and my five beautiful children in the other.

26 of 33 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Loved some parts. Did not like other parts November 6, 2006

By Dina

Format:Paperback

As a victim of reading way too many parenting books, I loved this book. I actually have stopped reading parenting books, parenting magazines, etc. But decided I'd make an exception for this book.

It's a great antidote for the current paranoid parenting that has overtaken us poor mothers. I love the chapters on television, nutrition, preserving memories, etc.

On the other hand, I think the book is somewhat hypocritical. She puts down other parenting advisors for pushing their views on others. Yet she is very pushy about her own views. There's this tone of relax, relax. Don't worry what they say. Feeding your child oreos is not such a big deal. Not filling out your child's baby book is not such a big deal. Don't worry about your child watching lots of TV. Oh, but do make sure you sit down and have dinners with your family!! Why? Just as Lucky Charms for breakfast won't ruin your child's dinner neither will eating dinner at different times ruin a family.

The author also seems very anti-attachment parenting. And yes I do think us AP parents deserve some kicks in the butt. We have pushed our beliefs on others at times. I think we do deserve some of the blame for this mother-guilt that is going around (although mainsteam parents also push their beliefs on AP parents and cause guilt/anxiety). But she insults AP practices and I don't think that is neccessary. As long as your family is relatively relaxed and happy, I see nothing wrong with health-food diets, long term breastfeeding, and co-sleeping. By attacking/insulting these practices, I think she alienates a large audience.

In her short paragraph about breastfeeding, she says that every mother needs to try breastfeeding, but doesn't thnk they need to continue to the full year.... She makes one of the common jibes about kids stopping befor they are old enough to walk around and ask for it. Why does every mother need to try to breastfeed? If her children can eat sugar-cereals for breakfast and that's okay for her family. Can't it be okay for a mother to not breastfeed and just use formula the whole time? Maybe she has good reasons not to try. Why pressure her? Why give her that guilt? What happened to promoting Momfidence? And I breastfed my child very long-term. Why should I be ridiculed for that? Our family made that choice and we're happy with it. It worked for us!! I have no regrets. But I don't think every family needs to do what we did.

I think every family should realize that the choices they make are not as big a deal as all these parenting "gurus" make it out to be. In the scheme of things, whether you never breastfeed or breastfeed for 5 years is not a big deal. Whether you child sleeps in a crib or in bed with you is trivial. All the anxiety we get about making these choices probably causes more damage to the child's psyche than the actual choice.

I thought "Monfidence" would help put an end to the parenting wars that are going on....but I don't think it does. I think the book is not very different from other parenting books. Just one very opinonated person pushing her parenting beliefs on others. Read more ›

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Kept Secret -- A must read for all moms! March 16, 2007

By Elizabeth G. Benjamin

Format:Paperback

Paula Spencers forthcoming and honesty in this book will have you laughing and commisurating with her. We have all been there and done that and she admits to it. We no longer have to hide in shame over our parenting choices, be proud and get your copy so you can momfidence too!

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Mom Book on the Market March 16, 2007

By Jennifer Ober

Format:Paperback

I loved this book! I think I read it in just a few days. It is a quick, easy, entertaining and oh-so-true book for Moms. I could relate to just about every chapter. I love how Paula makes the guilt ...just go away! I only wish I had gotten this before the birth of my first son (I now have 2 boys!)so that I could have had someone on my shoulder like Paula telling me I didn't need to be Super Mom - it's true - an Oreo won't kill you! Gain your Momfidence - get this book and pass it on to any Mom or Mom-To-Be that you know!