Customer Reviews

Moms with ADD: A Self-Help Manual

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Hands down one of the best books I've read all year. As a recently diagnosed mom with ADD, Christine's book has been a God-send. For years I've described my experiences with parenting as "trying to manage a three ring circus with a one track mind!" Not only has this book given me solid, practical information about how to cope with the way my brain works, it also is relieving the nagging feelings of incompetence I often struggle with in parenting as a direct result of living with ADD.

In particular, I appreciate Christine's ability to approach the subject of ADD in women in such a positive light, and this book covers it all-- everything from understanding the basics of ADD in women, to managing a family with ADD, to child development issues, and where to find help. Also, the book focuses not only on the good aspects of being a parent with ADD, such as creativity and compassion, but it also gives achievable and reasonable strategies for coping with the problems associated with being a parent with ADD, such as disorder and discipline issues.

As the author of a book and publisher of a newsletter on home management, countless numbers of women share with me their struggles with organizing their homes, time and families on a daily basis. Finally, I have an awesome resource to pass on to my fellow moms with ADD which gives us that final piece of the puzzle-- and enables us to find quiet confidence in the midst of the heartfelt, creative chaos we call motherhood.

I prefered this book to Sari Solden's "Women with ADD" because the author doesn't treat ADD women as if they are totally helpless and incapable, or that all women with ADD have the inattentive kind. Instead, there's lots of practical tips for gaining perspective and getting things done.

The author writes about the stress that the average mom of today finds herself in, and how difficult it is to juggle so many demands. It's important for ADD women to understand that even average women find themselves overwhelmed and unorganized. For the ADD woman, everything is that much more difficult. But it's not impossible!

I am a mom diagnosed with ADHD, with two very spirited children, and agree with the approach in this book. Over the years I have learned many strategies for handling things, and this has made a real difference.

One of the biggest sources of trouble for ADD moms is the school system, with their homework and notes about special materials you're supposed to send in "next Thursday" and such. I was told I was "unsupportive" because my son sometimes didn't have the materials he was supposed to have. I found the same teachers utterly clueless about what real education is really about, and pulled my son out of the school. Believe it or not, I have found homeschooling to be easier than having to deal with all the hyper-scheduled nonsense from the school. And my son is learning much more, but in a spontaneous sort of way. I would have liked to see something about homeschooling in the book. But I supposed homeschooling is more difficult in other places than where I live in Connecticut.

I like the fact that this book includes a chapter on the good aspects of ADD. In my opinion, many cases of modern ADD are not related to any real brain defect, but to natural temperament differences related to spontenaity, flexibility, creativity and even giftedness. I value these traits of mine and put them to good use while homeschooling.

I think the positive outlook in this book is important because in my experience most of the women who become diagnosed with ADD experience significant levels of depression and anxiety, and this makes their problems far worse. The last thing they need is another "expert" giving them a lot of psychobabble about how helpless and defective they are. Instead, they need real solutions to everyday problems.

I am an adult woman with ADD, mother of two, so I was looking forward to hearing a different voice than you usually encounter in ADD books for the general public. Instead, it was pretty much fragmented kinds of suggestions and actually ended up making me feel less competent as a mother than I really am.

 Moms with ADD: A Self-Help Manual.  by Christine A. Adamec

I had mixed feelings about this book. Many parts of this book would be quite useful for a mother with mild AD/HD. The author does a good job of dealing with the family interactions that can occur when more than one family member has AD/HD.  It can be difficult for any parent to attend to the needs of a child with AD/HD. The author makes suggestions for simplifying behavioral plans and household routines. She talks about how a mother with AD/HD responds differently to her children with and without AD/HD. She addresses relationship pitfalls between an AD/HD mother and her non-AD/HD child.     I had concerns about some of the material in Parts 3 and 4.

In Part 3, (Special Struggles) She lists certain types of abusive behavior that make one a "bad mother." I think that she was trying to make the valid point that most mothers with AD/HD are good mothers. Unfortunately, she seems to dismiss any mother who has ever engaged in abusive behavior. "Bad mother" is the last type of label such mothers need! How many AD/HD women have come close to hitting a child but stopped just in time? Those women should be thankful that someone along the line gave them enough nurturance and support so that they could stop themselves. When we see abuse, we should say, "There but for the grace of God go I." We should take action to protect abused children, but we should should do it out of love and concern for both the parent and the child.  

In Part 4, (Getting Outside Help) The author did a good job of explaining why a psychiatric evaluation is important, and why the psychiatrist might want to take more than one session to do the evaluation. I was glad that she made suggestions for how an individual might screen a clinician. I am surprised at the number of people who will entrust a clinician with so much, after simply getting a name out of the phonebook. As a psychiatrist, I feel that her depiction of our profession is not entirely accurate. She wrote, "Most doctors, including psychiatrists, don't like treating severely mentally ill people and prefer to treat people with less severe mental disorders." Yes, there are "boutique" clinicians who treat only the "worried well." However, many of us treat a wide range of people. AD/HD, like many conditions, can vary in its severity. The best psychiatrist is one who has is willing and able to treat AD/HD in all its forms and degrees of severity.  

She says that she does not feel that AD/HD is a mental illness. What then is it-a chronic viral infection? I think that we are better off being accurate-calling it what it is-and holding our heads high. If society has prejudice about mental illness, we should combat the prejudice, not hide behind euphemisms. One can be accurate while still acknowledging the positive aspects of AD/HD.

It is hard enough for mother's to find time to read, and for ADD mom's it is not only the time but the attention. I was looking forward to receiving some authentic tools to help me in my daily life. If you are looking for this too, look somewhere else. I found the book very stereotypical. It gave lot's of examples of women who can commiserate about the problems of having ADD, but I do not need to join a club, I need help. Real answers. I was reluctant to read it, after I finished the introduction I was more depressed than before. The inner pages offered no relief.

I feel as if I've read everything in this book in other books. It was positive, as some of the other reviewers stated, but it lacked some concrete examples of things that might help *me.*

If a mother was just beginning to learn about ADD and how to manage "it" in her life, then I think this would be a nice place to start. But if an ADDer has already done the info-junkie bit, then I would skip this one.

BTW, homeschooling has been far, far easier for me than sending my children to school. When my kids were in school there were all of these artificial outside schedules that did nothing for our home or our learning styles. I can focus on having fun with my kids now instead of on whether they like the meatloaf being served in the cafeteria, need a permission slip returned, had homework, were supposed to stay after school for an activity (or worse, needed to be picked up early because of a shortened school day!) Homeschooling RULES!

The book seems to focus on mothers of older children and spends very little time on mothers of infants/toddlers. Because of this, most of the book was irrelevent to me. I have earmarked a few pages and will definitely pull it out again once my 2 year old is older.

Moms with ADD is an affirmative how-to guide to managing your household and raising children for mothers who also have ADD (or ADHD). It is written in essay format, but in short, snappy paragraphs and sections covering many different aspects of daily life as a parent. One of the best features of the book is its can do attitude, as Adamec makes it clear that even if you cannot find the keys each day, love and commitment to your children make you a great parent. Topics she addresses include positive and negative attributes of ADD in women, organization and focus, parenting babies and (on the other extreme) parenting teens, keeping up with school, juggling family and work, and much more. This is an excellent resource for mothers who have recently been diagnosed with ADD (or suspect that they have this) and who are looking for supportive advice and practical tips for family "management."

As a psychotherapist who works with many ADHD moms, I *always* recommend this book. This is a warmly written, pragmatic book that will help any mom with ADHD become a more effective parent. The challenges of raising ADD kids are enormous. But being an ADHD mom raising an ADHD (or non-ADD) child can be one daunting and stressful experience. Ms. Adamec calms our nerves and helps us let go of that old notion of the "not good enough parent" syndrome. She puts things into perspective- the difficulties we have in raising our challenging children.

Best of all, she guides the reader through so many different daily aspects of parenting with very very helpful hints on HOW to do it.

I give this book an A +.
Terry Matlen, ACSW...

THis book has been extremely helpful. As a parent with ADHD and the mother of an ADHD son, I found it hard to find books that covered both topics as well as parenting my other children without ADHD. This book provided legitimate, easy to follow ideas and was a pleasure to read.