Customer Reviews

Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

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Tessina, who has counseled couples for more than 30 years, seems to know what problems people have when it comes to the biggies - money, sex, and kids. Her book by that name lays out in detail very practical solutions. Do you two have different ideas and feelings about money? Put those different attitudes on the table- discuss them-- then keep separate checkbooks and credit or debit cards, but a common checkbook or credit card for major shared bills. Hmm, never thought of that! Don't shy away from manipulation, says Tessina -just so it's positive manipulation, thought through so you get a good response: like, "How about if we take out a home equity loan, and use it to renovate the kitchen (like you want) and buy the new car (like I want)?" Though you probably won't try this one till today's frozen credit thaws.

Money, Sex, and Kids is really a manual. First you find your problem - termed Struggle - in boldface-- then the Situation or background, and then the Solution. You wouldn't read Money, Sex, and Kids like a novel. It's more like a cookbook that you keep around and dip into when you need a recipe. I wish I'd had it earlier in my marriage, when I'd had all these problems she writes about that I recognize only too well!

Prolific non-fiction writer, Tina Tessina, Ph.D., has written many books on women and relationships. But she really hits the bullseye with MONEY,SEX, and KIDS: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

Although she states that "raising kids is the most complicated, puzzling, and hopefully rewarding job a couple can have," she goes on to honestly admit that "the fights about children can be the most intense and complex." Fortunately, she then describes ways that couples can work together to compromise in solving those issues.

She also lists skills that are necessary to learn in order to create a "truly loving partnership." As a licensed psychotherapist since 1978, Dr. Tessina carefully presents the struggle and the situation first, and then offers the solution to money, sex, and kids squabbles.

If this book were among the gifts given at engagement parties and appeared on book shelves of married folks, perhaps our sad statistics of divorce among first, second, and even third marriages could be reduced.

Reviewed by Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of BLENDING FAMILIES and co-author of THE COMPLETE SINGLE FATHER.

"Money Sex and Kids" is an incredibly useful resource! This book helps couples to understand and resolve the three primary issues responsible for marital discontent. First Dr. Tessina broadens awareness about why people may act in a certain manner. Then she moves beyond insight, enlightenment and understanding, towards a constructive plan of action. These practical tools offer a great opportunity to improve and repair difficult relationships. "Money Sex and Kids" offers hope for couples to maximize bliss and minimize angst. Bravo, Dr. Romance! - Dr. Abby Aronowitz, Psychologist. Author of "Your Final Diet" [..]

Money, sex and kids are, indeed, the three issues virtually all couples fight about. Author Tina Tessina, a practicing therapist and relationship columnist, gives practical, commonsense advice for dealing with all.

I tried one of the discussion exercises with my "fella," with good results. Some four weeks later, we still use it.
Lots of good tips here for dealing with the issues that can strengthen or strain a relationship.

"I love the entire book. Dr. Tessina is one of those gifted people who write like she is peering straight into people's souls. I like very much how she shares personal asides, and tips that work in her own marriage. I like her focus on using humor and even silliness too. I've noticed how that can work with most people most of the time. I also like the weekly family meeting ideas.

I love the comments, the guidelines, the therapist's statement of ethics and the guidelines for selecting a therapist. This is soooo valuable for my students who seek counseling.

I've always taught that the three biggest reasons couples seek help are Money, Sex and Communication. A more accurate statement would be that it is a thread of communication that runs through the topics- which are; money, sex and kids that determines a relationship's success. HOW you communicate determines your success. This book is an excellent manual/training guide!

Dr. Tessina's emphasis on humor reflects a lot of what's right about the world. Charlie Chaplin said: "Life may be a tragedy in the close up, but it is a comedy in the long shot." He would have liked this book."

I am a never-married, childless, only child. My fiancé is a divorced middle-child with custody of his young son. We have different opinions on and experiences with, well, just about everything. MONEY, SEX AND KIDS has taught us how to use this diversity to our mutual benefit.

The techniques, skills and mindsets laid out in this book (and in Tina's earlier book How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free, Third Edition) have enabled us to negotiate cooperative solutions to our problems rather than focusing on who is "right." Tina's combinations of specific real-life examples and general tips and tools have given us the ability to greatly reduce the potential for arguments, needless struggle and heartache in our relationship.

I'm particularly happy with how the "Struggle-Situation-Solution" continuum trains couples to get past the immediate "sound and fury" and discover what the argument is REAALLY about, which is the only place true cooperative problem solving can take place.

Thanks to Tina (and my fiancé's cooperation, of course), I've gone from thinking that our differences could quite possibly be insurmountable to planning for a moving day later this year.

The answer is, "money, sex and kids." What is the question? "What are the three issues that stir up the most trouble in a marriage?" If you find yourself endlessly fighting with your spouse, you may have something in common with the hundreds of couples Dr. Tina B. Tessina has counseled who continually bump heads over these emotionally charged issues. Tessina, a.k.a. "Dr. Romance," shows you how to stop arguing and focus on collaboration. She provides effective strategies and techniques, including fighting do's and don'ts, budgeting advice, tactics for improving intimacy and exercises for spouses to share. Although the contents are not as innovative as the catchy title, Tessina's focus on problem solving, mutual support and honest communication can buttress any challenging relationship. If one, two or all three of these divisive issues are threatening to derail your marriage, getAbstract believes this book may help you get back on track.

This book contains excellent advise on probably the three biggest marital struggles, as well as other difficulties a couple may encounter. Most problems/solutions focus on improving communication. definitely good advise that's practical, easy, and quick to put into practice depending on how willing each partner is to resolve issues. Give it a try!