Monster [Hardcover]

A. Lee Martinez (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 11, 2009

Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady - for the future of the universe.

Monster runs a pest control agency. He's overworked and has domestic troubles - like having the girlfriend from hell.

Judy works the night shift at the local Food Plus Mart. Not the most glamorous life, but Judy is happy. No one bothers her and if she has to spell things out for the night-manager every now and again, so be it.

But when Judy finds a Yeti in the freezer aisle eating all the Rocky Road, her life collides with Monster's in a rather alarming fashion. Because Monster doesn't catch raccoons; he catches the things that go bump in the night. Things like ogres, trolls, and dragons.

Oh, and his girlfriend from Hell? She actually is from Hell.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Martinez (Too Many Curses) pokes at big-picture questions, like the nature of the universe and the meaning of life, with abundant, zany humor in this charming tale. Monster, who works in cryptobiological containment, first encounters Judy when he rescues her from a yeti that's trashing the frozen foods aisle of the Food Plus Mart. They meet again when trolls infest her apartment. As an incognizant—someone whose mind can't acknowledge magic—Judy soon forgets the bizarre events, but Monster suspects she's somehow involved with the recent uptick in dangerous cryptobiological happenings. When Lotus, keeper of a stone mysteriously linked to Judy, spirits Judy away, Monster attempts to come to her rescue, only to discover that he's in way over his head. Scary monsters and hilarious scenarios embellish a convoluted plot that suggests even night-shift workers might have a destiny. (May)
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About the Author

A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself. For more information on the author, check out www.aleemartinez.com.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Orbit; 1 edition (May 11, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316041262
• ISBN-13: 978-0316041263
• Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,018,066 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner was published. Since then he has published or is about to publish five additional novels, including the forthcoming Divine Misfortune. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 30 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars "Waiter, what's this Yeti doing in my ice cream? May 1, 2009

By Dick Johnson TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

"Looks like he's just FLOAT-ing."

Martinez is very creative and funny. His books take our boring old world and add some excitement to it. Of course, his definition of excitement may differ from the norm by a factor of about a thousand.

Monster is both the title and the name of the main character. He is a dysfunctional family all by himself. He also has cryptobiological containment skills - and some of them come in different colors. His less than endearing personality coupled with a job of removing the threat of mythological (so we thought) beasts makes for enough slapstick situations to fill a 3 Stooges marathon.

Did I mention that the fate of the universe is also at stake? Or, that his girlfriend is a (well, that's better left discovered by reading)?

This is fast paced, light reading. Don't expect literary tricks but "trick or treat". I give this five stars for inventiveness and just plain fun. Unfortunately, there are some disconnects and inconsistencies that should have been caught before going to press. Don't let the absence of a star keep you from reading it, though. You'd have to look hard to find a more humorous, pleasurable read.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars My favorite ice cream - rocky road with yeti! May 18, 2009

By Margaret Dybala VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

If you like well written, really funny fantasy a la Christopher Moore, you will love this book! The scene opens in a supermarket. The store clerks are rather surprised to find a yeti devouring all the ice cream and generally making a mess. But (to the rescue!) a team composed of a young man (Monster) and his assistant paper cutout man come to the rescue. Turns out that magic is everywhere, so much so that there is actually a sort of paranormal animal control. Most of us ordinary folks just don't perceive it. And we quickly forget it when we see it!

As the story progresses, we get a wonderful bit of inspired silliness as the hero and heroine take on a cosmic parasite, all the knowledge in the universe, dragons, giant worms, and a truly mean horse and cow.

Well written, with a sense of parody about relationship issues, this book has a lot of charm. I plan to read more of Mr. Martinez's works!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Just Plain Fun May 15, 2009

By The Mad Hatter VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

I hadn't read any of Martinez's books previously although I've heard he would be up my alley since I'm a fan of Tom Holt, Robert Rankin, and Christopher Moore who he has been associated with. When I saw the cover and read the description I just knew this would be the one to try. I'm a sucker for cryptids and funny fantasy in this case funny urban fantasy. I managed to finish Monster in 3 sittings which is quick given my hectic schedule lately. Monster is a zany mix of Christopher Moore's humor with the inventive flair of Douglas Adams. It starts off hilariously and barely gives you time to breath between giggles with its delightful dialogue and sometime silly action.

Monster abounds with a veritable menagerie of mythical monsters such as yetis, kobolds, sphinxes, and pretty much anything you could or couldn't dream up. This is a world where magical things happen but most people forget about them soon after they witness them. Sometimes blue, Monster the main character/anti-hero is kind of like the cleanup crew of mythical monster kind with a strange ability best left revealed through reading. In other words he is the dog warden of weird varmints. Chaos is drawn to Judy who is a grocery store clerk and a bit of a failure in life. The character development is not very deep, which leaves Monster (the character) feeling a bit flat and also makes it a little hard to care about Judy. Both are just making the motions going through life and not caring to accomplish anything. Monster is actually a bit over the top in his reluctance to not get involved at times to the point of being unbelievable. However the situations and dialogue are what you want in a book like this so I can overlook these flaws for the pure entertainment Martinez gives us.

On the flip side Chester, a paper gnome, is Monster's partner in crime and adds a nice counterbalance. Chester in actuality is a being from a different dimension just inhabiting the paper body for work. Monster's girlfriend is a super-hot succubus and there is of course a crazy cat lady who is up to something. The book is quickly paced and the fight scenes are a lot of fun especially one involving a herd of trolls. The magic Monster employs is logical yet he plays it mischievously well and I feel like there could be a lot more to this world especially given the climatic ending.

Although a very different monster this is close to on par with Christopher Moore's The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. Monster won't win any high literary awards, but If you are in the mood for a light read and a few laughs this is definitely the one to pickup especially if you've been reading a lot of long Epic Fantasy. I give Monster 7.5 out of 10 Hats.