Customer Reviews

Monster High

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

This has got to be one of the best "B" movies I have ever seen. Not only is the story-line outragously silly, but the ... humor is the best!!! The actresses are some of the hottest women that I've ever seen in the movies (especially Beatrice Beldman before she was eaten by the zombie)! A must "own" movie. It will bring laughter for years to come!

Norm, an average high school nobody, must find the courage to stop Mr. Armageddon and his team of monsters before they unleash their sinister doomsday device to destroy the world! MONSTER HIGH is a terribly unfunny, stupid, and utterly ridiculous Horror Comedy from the late 80's that still manages to be oddly entertaining. It offers a strange assortment of characters, including two oddball aliens, an eccentric madman, a mysterious puppet master acting behind the scenes, and a jaded narrator that delivers the plot like an uninterested newscaster. Despite the fact that the film looks and feels like a cheesy after-school special, there is an incredible number of bloody gags, plenty of excessive nudity, and enough foul-mouthed humor to earn itself a solid R-rating. Many of the gags rely on the viewer's familiarity with the genre, spoofing standard conventions while referencing many Horror classics. The monsters are as cheap and silly as they come, but they only add to the goofy charm of the film as a whole. MONSTER HIGH follows similar 80's parodies like STUDENT BODIES or RETURN TO HORROR HIGH, but with far less success.

-Carl Manes
I Like Horror Movies

I never thought I'd see this classic on DVD. Without a doubt, one of the best if not the absolute best B-Movie ever... definitely the most underrated.

[...]

Completely discard the other movie for this and listen up: If you are into schlocky horror films, then this is just beyond words. Everything you ever wanted is here: Killer shoes, basketball-playing zombies, strange directing (some characters open up an elevator door and some girl is getting killed as a strobe light blinks red and someone eats pie and goo squirts all over the place; completely over-the-top and ridiculous), and plenty of t&a. Oh, and don't forget Satan. And a guy whose voice is overdubbed to sound really evil to a point where you can't even tell what he's saying half of the time. And really, REALLY cheap FX. And computers who kill people. And rapping aliens.

This is about a hilarious and amazing as it gets. A film you'll want to show ALL your friends. I mean, check out the plot: Earth is about to be taken over, so people play basketball to decide the fate of the world. If this DOESN'T sound amazing, then this isn't the film for you. However, this film is AMAZINGLY entertaining, hilarious, and just completely over-the-top. In a lot of ways, it's similar to Troma films (especially Class of Nuke'Em High) except it is even more clever, and there actually seems to be an attempt on the director's part to make something more out of this film than a cheap B-movie. There is definitely style and decent production values to be had here. It's not really an ugly film and you can actually see everything and hear everything. Hilarious music, great visuals, and just totally amazingly off-the-wall.

I really don't know why more people don't know of this film since it used to be on USA's Up All Night, but hopefully the DVD will get more people into it. Really, I can't say it enough: The best trashy B-Movie horror/comedy/whatever film ever. See it now. Can I give this 6 stars?

This is a must have, must see for "B" movie fans. The story is hilarious and the acting is great -- especially "Mel". Highly recommended.

HILARIOUS! THIS MOVIE INSPIRED SCARY MOVIE INDEFINITLY! RENT IT IF YOU CAN FIND IT!

The biggest problem I found watching Monster High was the use of so many non actors.A few of the cast did very well,but the majority of the characters had cleary never performed in so much as a play. Now being what it is, I geuss that's forgivable. The guy playing Armageddon must have had his lines dubbed, and the "monster" voice they used was hard to understand at times. Alot of the special effects gags were pretty good. The makeups were okay for a low budget movie like this.This movie is definately for a select group, who eat up weirdness, and silliness.There is some nudity here and there. The bouncing boobs scene is worth the couple of bucks I spent on the movie.I like these kinds of films, but a I know alot of people hate them. But given the choice between watching this & Some SYFY channel cgi garbage...I'd take this!

I'm certainly not expert on cinema, but I've seen enough to know one of the worst kinds of movies is an unfunny comedy, which is exactly what we have here with Monster High (1989). The last time I saw something this rotten was when I watched The Party Animal (1984), which is also available on DVD, if you're interested. Co-written by Roy Langsdon (The Forbidden Dance) and John Platt, who would later go on to produce a slew of those oh so wonderful reality shows that plague the television like "Big Brother", "The Amazing Race 2", and "Brat Camp", Monster High was directed by Rudiger Poe, in his only credit to date, which really wasn't a surprise to me given how poor this film actually was...appearing in the movie is Dean Iandoli, whose only other credit is an episode of "Law & Order", Diana Frank (Dead of Night), and David Marriott (Zombie Death House, Operation Warzone). Also appearing is Robert Lind (L.A. Story), Sean Haines, Doug Kerzner, Bob Cady (Alligator II: The Mutation), and Susan Smeltzer.

As the movie begins, we're supposed to be on another plane of existence (as far as I can tell), and we get a taste of the tepidly banal humor yet to come as one character comments on another by stating "You look like a hemorrhoid with eyebrows." Seriously, this is about as good as it gets, as things proceed to go downhill from here. Seems a pair of doofy aliens named Dume (Lind) and Glume (Haines) are in the process of stealing the ultimate weapon in the universe. They make off with a crate containing said item, and take it to Earth in an effort to take over the universe, or something like that. Within the crate is a basketball, which is actually a sphere of imprisonment, housing a character named Mr. Armageddon (Marriott), who escapes and takes up residence in a nearby high school. It's about this time when we meet Norm Median (Iandoli) and Candice Cain (Frank), students who attend the high school. Norm's a regular schmuck who has the hots for French foreign exchange student Candice, but she doesn't seem to know he exists. Anyway, we get to meet some of the other students and faculty, many of them with supposedly humorous names like Miss Anna Thorpe (get it? Misanthrope? Ah, forget it...), Mel Anoma, class stoner Orson 'O.D.' Davis, Coach Otto Parts, the nerdy Eggbert Hoser, and so on...see, I told you things would get worse. Anyway, Mr. Armageddon begins killing off the students and creating monsters, all in an effort to bring about the end of existence. Some stuff happens, some more stuff happens, and eventually everything culminates into a showdown as the school's basketball team plays against Mr. Armageddon and his monsters, the fate of the universe hanging in the balance.

This is one of those films I would call a `career killer'. Seriously, look at those involved. How many actually went on to other things in terms of movies and television? Very few, and I'll tell you why...this isn't a credit one would probably be proud, or even want, to display on one's resume. The only ones who seem to have survived the aftermath are Diana Frank, who apparently had to return to Europe to continue her acting career, and the writers, both of whom should have been banished to a realm where little demons poke at their nether regions with sharp, pointed sticks for the cinematic hurting they inflicted upon my sensibilities with this dreck. Juvenile humor I can deal with...cornball humor I can deal with...but this movie has neither. It's awash with the most insipid, idiotic, imbecilic material I've had to suffer through in a long time. It was like spending an hour and a half with Carrot Top, only slightly less enjoyable. There are those who will try and tell you this is a spoof, and it was made bad on purpose, but I don't buy that as justification for how really shoddy the material is in this film. There's only the most basic sense of comedy within, the same sort used in those Bazooka Joe cartoon strips found along side the bubblegum, only here it lasts for an hour and a half. The filmmakers seemed to try and compensate for their pathetic attempts at humor by throwing in some breasts here and there, and while this did provide a slight distraction, it only served to prove how little the makers of this film had going on...so very odd to see a torso shot of a pair of bouncing jubblies pop up on the screen for no reason whatsoever. I thought Ms. Frank was attractive, even though it was obvious body doubles were used for the scenes when she was supposed to pop her top (the numerous body doubles for Ms. Frank had melons of varying sizes). There was one sequence I did find humorous near the end, as the basketball game to decide the fate of all existence comes to a close. Given the game was supposed to be the big finale piece of the movie, it was fairly boring and poorly shot, but the final bit when Norm makes the tie breaking shot results in a decent, fifteen second bit. This in no way made up for the other 63 minutes and 45 seconds of crud, but it did make me chuckle.

The picture, presented in fullscreen (1.33:1) format, is decent, but obviously served up by Sony in terms of it being `as is', meaning they didn't bother to clean it up or anything before transferring it to DVD, resulting in a slightly fuzzy quality throughout. The quality of Dolby Digital 2.0 audio is appropriate for the picture, meaning it ain't all that how, either. There are no extras, but Sony was kind enough to slap on a slew of previews for their other DVD releases like Boogeyman (2005), Devour (2005), the television miniseries Kingdom Hospital (2004), Vampires: The Turning (2005), Frankenfish (2004), and something called Chupacabra Terror (2004).

Cookieman108

This was suggested to buy along with some children monster high dolls but it has nothing to do with the children monster high dolls . For adults it is not my type of show sent it back

Lousy HORROR comedy about alien invaders taking over a high school
attended by the usual sex starved idiots. High school's a bad
enough experience without all these STUPID teen movies making
the matter worse! Overall grade...F

I wouldn't want to meet a person who thought this movie was funny or enjoyable. I tried to think of a worse film than this and there were only a few that came to mind (REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA is worse I suppose, and perhaps
anything directed by Michael Bay). This movie is so insultingly lame. I never laughed at any of the tired gags. There are plenty of breasts and even some gore and from a techincal standpoint the film is competently made but it is really tedious and altogether stupid. The "teenagers" look as if they should be teaching high school rather than attending and they exhibit no charm or talent. It fails in every way possible. It's also from 1989 but given slick modern packaging to make it seem more appealing. Make no mistake: this isn't funny, imagainative or entertaining. It's awful. Yuck.