Customer Reviews

Monster

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

"Looks like he's just FLOAT-ing."

Martinez is very creative and funny. His books take our boring old world and add some excitement to it. Of course, his definition of excitement may differ from the norm by a factor of about a thousand.

Monster is both the title and the name of the main character. He is a dysfunctional family all by himself. He also has cryptobiological containment skills - and some of them come in different colors. His less than endearing personality coupled with a job of removing the threat of mythological (so we thought) beasts makes for enough slapstick situations to fill a 3 Stooges marathon.

Did I mention that the fate of the universe is also at stake? Or, that his girlfriend is a (well, that's better left discovered by reading)?

This is fast paced, light reading. Don't expect literary tricks but "trick or treat". I give this five stars for inventiveness and just plain fun. Unfortunately, there are some disconnects and inconsistencies that should have been caught before going to press. Don't let the absence of a star keep you from reading it, though. You'd have to look hard to find a more humorous, pleasurable read.

If you like well written, really funny fantasy a la Christopher Moore, you will love this book! The scene opens in a supermarket. The store clerks are rather surprised to find a yeti devouring all the ice cream and generally making a mess. But (to the rescue!) a team composed of a young man (Monster) and his assistant paper cutout man come to the rescue. Turns out that magic is everywhere, so much so that there is actually a sort of paranormal animal control. Most of us ordinary folks just don't perceive it. And we quickly forget it when we see it!

As the story progresses, we get a wonderful bit of inspired silliness as the hero and heroine take on a cosmic parasite, all the knowledge in the universe, dragons, giant worms, and a truly mean horse and cow.

Well written, with a sense of parody about relationship issues, this book has a lot of charm. I plan to read more of Mr. Martinez's works!

I hadn't read any of Martinez's books previously although I've heard he would be up my alley since I'm a fan of Tom Holt, Robert Rankin, and Christopher Moore who he has been associated with. When I saw the cover and read the description I just knew this would be the one to try. I'm a sucker for cryptids and funny fantasy in this case funny urban fantasy. I managed to finish Monster in 3 sittings which is quick given my hectic schedule lately. Monster is a zany mix of Christopher Moore's humor with the inventive flair of Douglas Adams. It starts off hilariously and barely gives you time to breath between giggles with its delightful dialogue and sometime silly action.

Monster abounds with a veritable menagerie of mythical monsters such as yetis, kobolds, sphinxes, and pretty much anything you could or couldn't dream up. This is a world where magical things happen but most people forget about them soon after they witness them. Sometimes blue, Monster the main character/anti-hero is kind of like the cleanup crew of mythical monster kind with a strange ability best left revealed through reading. In other words he is the dog warden of weird varmints. Chaos is drawn to Judy who is a grocery store clerk and a bit of a failure in life. The character development is not very deep, which leaves Monster (the character) feeling a bit flat and also makes it a little hard to care about Judy. Both are just making the motions going through life and not caring to accomplish anything. Monster is actually a bit over the top in his reluctance to not get involved at times to the point of being unbelievable. However the situations and dialogue are what you want in a book like this so I can overlook these flaws for the pure entertainment Martinez gives us.

On the flip side Chester, a paper gnome, is Monster's partner in crime and adds a nice counterbalance. Chester in actuality is a being from a different dimension just inhabiting the paper body for work. Monster's girlfriend is a super-hot succubus and there is of course a crazy cat lady who is up to something. The book is quickly paced and the fight scenes are a lot of fun especially one involving a herd of trolls. The magic Monster employs is logical yet he plays it mischievously well and I feel like there could be a lot more to this world especially given the climatic ending.

Although a very different monster this is close to on par with Christopher Moore's The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. Monster won't win any high literary awards, but If you are in the mood for a light read and a few laughs this is definitely the one to pickup especially if you've been reading a lot of long Epic Fantasy. I give Monster 7.5 out of 10 Hats.

The title I gave this review is from the front cover of the book, which is an ad for Monster Dionysus' pest control firm, Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Services. We wind up meeting just about every cryptozoological creature you've ever heard of - and quite a few you probably haven't!

Each of Martinez' books is a different setting and characters, each his take on a different aspect of fantasy. In my personal opinion, his books alternate between strong ones and not-so-strong, not-so-funny - and after the somewhat strained _Curses_, we were due for - and have received! - a stronger, funnier book. In this volume Martinez seems to be channeling a bit of Christopher Moore - right down to the hapless schnook working a night shift at the supermarket. No turkey bowling here - but then, Moore has never had Rocky Road-eating Yeti, so it balances out.

The general plot is ordinary people who have to deal with extraordinary creatures and powers that most of the world can't even see and manages to ignore even when it's right in their faces. Our pest control guy has his degree in runic studies with a minor in cryptobiology from the Greater New Jersey Community Collegius Arcanus (we are significantly and pointedly missing any traces of fancy English private schools here). There are numerous funny points, some of them unusual touches. Gaborchends - malevolent goat people - like Cheez Whiz. Tea has always been considered a soothing beverage; here it goes quite a ways past soothing. You can get a ticket for having a winged horse in a bus stop shelter - particularly if you don't pooper-scoop the horse's debris.

For the record, for people searching only for certain sub-genres of fantasy: no vampires, no zombies, no werewolves. Other than people who can do magic, and one who holds the key to the universe, there are no supernatural humans. There is an -alien? - from the sixth dimension, who is a sentient, but otherwise all our fantasy critters are critters rather than humanoid sentients. Well, except for Gracie the easy angel, and maybe Ed and Ferdinand, who are sort of human... you'll see. But no standard vampires or zombies or werewolves.


As ever, let's give a shout-out to decent proofreading and copy editing: this book is free of spelling mistakes, stray and unruly punctuation, word misusage, and all those other little annoyances that plague too many books these days.

Family reading alert: although Monster has a live-in demon girlfriend and sex is mentioned, there's nothing explicit, and there's almost nothing that most people would consider "bad" language.

When I first picked up "Monster" I thought it was a junior high to high school book and wasn't sure what to make of it because it is rather bawdy at times, with strong language. However, for an adult audience it could be a fun, light read, not something to be read too seriously or deeply.

Monster, the main character, works in pest control with his sidekick Chester; they don't exterminate termites or mice but yeti, ogres, trolls, and dragons. His girlfriend is a succubus, and he simply cannot keep her happy. He ends up taking a case at a Food Plus Mart, where the night clerk Judy finds a yeti in the ice cream freezer. Judy learns things about herself, and Monster's and Judy's lives come together.

Other than the bawdy content, this was a fun book that I could recommend for adults.

I bought this book a few days ago in the hopes of finding something different from what I usually read (broad range of scifi/fantasy). What I got was a book that really shouldn't be taken too seriously. By that I mean don't expect a very deep, thought provoking story. It reads like a Harry Potter book with the exception of a few vague sexual comments, written as if by a 15 year old who wants to tell a sexy story but is too unfamiliar with the realities to elaborate on it. If you are looking for something that is goofy and a quick easy read this is good. I would be willing to give a sequel a shot since the basic characters are interesting and have a lot of potential. I think Martinez would do well to go a bit further with Monster and Judy in maybe 1 or 2 more books with a more in-depth story.

Once again, a fantasy writer steps forward to tackle the really big questions concerning Life, The Universe and what flavor of ice cream yetis really like!

Judy's life is rather boring and ordinary, albeit filled with unusual memory gaps. She's working the night shift at the local grocery store for Dave, a sleep-deprived manager who barely manages. He doesn't handle it very well when Judy tells him that there is a yeti in the freezer, eating most of the ice cream (except the vanilla).

Judy goes to call Animal Control but her call is switched to the Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Service, and Monster (who is blue that particular evening) comes to take care of the yeti. He turns it into a little rock and asks her to sign for it.

The whole thing intrigues Judy but she gets annoyed when she's told she'll forget it all in a little while. That's what happens to ordinary people when they encounter magic. She tries to give herself a clue but she does forget the whole thing--even the part where the other yeti appears and she hits it with Monster's magic bat and kills it.

Unfortunately, dead things can't be transmorgified into rocks and Monster has to lug the corpse out to his van. His sidekick, Chester, is no help because he's so two-dimensional as a character that he is made of paper. He lives in an alternate universe and merely telecommutes to work in ours.

Monster has many reasons for being blue, but aside from his changing skin color, he remains permanently blue because his girlfriend is a succubus from the Pits. She's gorgeous, she cooks, she cleans and she's a real demon in the bedroom. And that's the problem. Monster is worn out by all that sex but there's still scorch marks on the TV from the last time he tried to break up with her.

This is the story of how Monster and Judy save the world. I'm still trying to figure out if the magical stone thingy is a precursor to the iPad...seems unlikely really, as this is supposed to be fantasy and not science fiction. Whatever it is, it is terribly funny. This is an excellent book and it will cool your brain on a hot day. Highly recommended for fans of Douglas Adams and Christopher Moore! Great summer reading!

I love Jim Butcher's Dresden Files and Charles Stross' The Atrocity Archives and felt, from the first few pages, that A. Lee Martinez's "Monster" would be more of the same.

And it was...but not!

Because most of the characters - and especially the eponymous Monster - just aren't that likable.

In fact, Monster makes even Stephen R. Donaldson's benchmark antihero Thomas Covenant seem light and breezy, something I would not have believed possible.

So we have funky magic; a good plot line; plenty of action - and a clutch of "God, can I be bothered" characters. Which was HUGELY annoying because if they can't be bothered, why should I be bothered to read about them?

Eventually I did finish Monster but to be honest, it was a bit touch and go toward the end and the too-cool-for-school attitude meant that ultimately I did not enjoy it as much as those first few pages suggested I should have.

So, Monster purports to be about two people who aren't especially fond of each other discovering something awful about to happen and trying to stop it.

I read it through and it had pages, just like a proper book. Other than that it didn't have a lot going for it. The characters were flat and dull. Speaking as someone who has worked in dull mind-numbing drone jobs, I can attest that a dull job does not denote a dull person. It was almost as if the characters were willfully blind to the things around them. For the record, I am not referring to the magic blindness, but to the general funk that both characters were so deeply rutted in, it may as well have been the Marianas Trench.

I liked the initial premise, but the main characters were so dull and boring it kind of ruined it. I'm sorry for the teeny tiny review, but I was bored silly. and don't feel like putting any more time into this that I possibly can. I'm sure there are more interestng books around elsewhere

With a title like MONSTER and the promise of paranormal hijinks, I had expected a much funnier read. What I got was an ok story and only one or two truly interesting characters with a few laughs thrown in.

MONSTER had lots of potential, with a fun concept that unfortunately fell flat on execution; making for a very ho-hum
forgettable read.