Customer Reviews

Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

I worked as a Montessori teaching assistant many years ago and was already familiar with her ideas, so when my own daughter was born I was eager to put them into practice. I read a review of this book and bought it but although it has a few good suggestions, overall it was of very little use. Though the book is intended for use from birth to age 3, the focus is overwhelmingly on babyhood. If your child is already walking and you didn't use the Montessori child-bed, weaning chair, weaning table, etc, much of this book will be pointless. If you do not have the resources to buy the equipment suggested, this book will also not be of much use, because it rarely suggests inexpensive or homemade alternatives.

I also strongly object to some of the authors' suggestions in the chapter entitled "Personal Care". They recommend intensive toilet training beginning at 12-15 months, and weaning from breastfeeding at 9 months, arguing that this will foster the child's feelings of independence. Both of these suggestions are contrary to the latest advice given by childcare experts. Few children show any signs of being ready for toilet training at such a young age -- most are still learning to walk, or have recently learned to do so, and for the parent to begin intensive toilet training at this time interferes with the child's natural instincts to be on the move. Furthermore it is much easier and faster to toilet train when the child is actually ready to do so, which in the vast majority of cases is not before the age of two.

The authors' advice to wean from the breast at 9 months is contrary to that of the American Association of Pediatrics, which recommends that breastmilk be the primary source of nutrition for all of the first year. This advice can also be dangerous. On the advice of a (misguided) health professional, I limited my own child's breastfeeds when he was 9 months old to 3 times per day for a period of several weeks, which resulted in a rapid and frightening weight loss, and frequent night wakings due to hunger. The authors actually state that if your child is showing no signs of being ready for weaning, you should go ahead and wean him anyway, because you know best! This is completely contrary to the Montessori principles of respecting the child's natural intelligence.

Furthermore, I think there is too much emphasis in the book on the child learning to do things at an early age. They state that if you follow their principles, the child should be crawling by six months, walking by 10 or 11 months, talking by 14 months -- this seems to imply that Montessori education results in children who are superior simply because they can do things at an earlier age than other children.

There were only a few good suggestions for activities for toddlers, which do not merit buying the book. I am still looking for a better book which will enable me to put Montessori principles into practice in my home.

I postponed buying this book until my baby was 5 months because of the negative reviews. I was wrong. After reading the book, I realized that the negative reviews are mostly due to a shallow cursory reading of the book, rather than due to the subject matter. Here is why:

1. The authors do a great job at explaining how the Montessori principles can be applied to newborns. There are NO other books that do so, and the authors are very explicit in stating that the principles are what counts - the application is up to the parent. (But this can be very hard for parents in our "how-to-manual"-driven culture). The most important concept is that of observing the child closely and paying attention to all his cues so you know what works for your child. I take this to mean that I am the final judge of how I implement Montessori methods for my child, and that suits me just fine.

2. The authors recommend the child bed - basically a twin/full mattress on the floor. When I read about this, I thought painfully about the $$$ spent on the crib, co-sleeper, and pack'n play, all of which my child has refused to sleep on in favor of a twin-size daybed we already had. When I discovered that he only wanted to sleep in a big boy bed, I researched a bit on the safety of doing so and other sleep-issues, and found that these authors are not the only ones to suggest a bed on the floor. Dr. Sears (The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family (Sears Parenting Library)) and Elizabeth Pantley (The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night) make the same suggestion. And yes, I co-sleep with my baby, which I could not do in his crib. (As a side issue, the mirror by the bedside that the book suggests is not unsafe if you buy one that is not made of glass - the Michael Olaf catalog has one for sale).

3. About the breastfeeding/weaning issue: the authors do not suggest early weaning. They suggest following the child but at around 6 months you can start introducing solids to experiment with taste. I looked hard for this because I am a firm believer in breastfeeding for as long as the child wants to - I didn't find anything to offend this belief. In fact, the book advocates breastfeeding as the best nourishment, and suggests retiring to a quiet environment and focusing on the process, playing with the baby while doing so, instead of watching TV and surfing the net.

4. About the early potty training: in my culture babies get potty trained by the age of 12-18 months. There is no pressure of any kind - by the time the baby can sit upright, he is put on the potty at certain times in the day when he is more likely to go. In many cultures (e.g. India, China) infant potty training is the norm. In the US, elimination communication (EC) has been gaining ground, and the proponents of this method start potty training from birth (Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to Modern Living). This method requires a lot of patience and also a lot of attention to the baby to find out when they eliminate and what their cues are. Sign language is used to communicate the need to go potty since the baby may not be speaking yet. In light of this, the authors are not extreme (in fact quite tame) in their position of suggesting potty training before the AAP recommendation of 2 years old. If the baby can sit upright, that means that myelination of the nerves in the lower part of the body has occurred, which means they can feel when they are wet/dirty and even control that part of their body.

5. About letting children explore on their own: it is invaluable advice. I had no idea how much I was interfering with my baby's independent play and development of focus. For example, I put toys into his hands, offered a bunch of toys all at once without allowing him to fully explore each one, yanked him from his focused play just so I could kiss him or throw him in the air, etc...- basically, whenever I personally thought he needed a change of pace, I did so. Since letting him be and paying closer attention, I have become more sensitive to his need to explore one thing at a time and at length, uninterrupted. I still kiss and throw him in the air when he is done playing, of course :) One reviewer read this to mean "leave the child unattended", which could not have been more wrong. The authors explicitly advise to observe the child closely as they play to see what interests them and how they are exploring so you can tailor activities to their interests and motor skills. Also, childproofing an entire room as suggested, allows you to safely leave the child on his own BRIEFLY. Since reading this book, I refrain from drawing attention to myself (by cheering and clapping) when the baby does something new. Instead I encourage him, help him along if necessary, and observe his contentment when he manages something on his own. After all, he should achieve things for his own self not to please me. (BTW, this is along the lines of Alfie Kohn's philosophy representing a recent departure from behaviorism that has turned many of today's toddlers into praise junkies Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason).

6. About the condescending tone: there is some of that in the book, but I found it to be correctly addressed. I found myself among those parents who deserved the criticsm and decided to change my ways instead of taking offense. I now think harder about everything I do - what toys I buy (few, simple wooden toys and other natural materials instead of colorful plastic with beeping sounds and lights, no more educational than a TV, regardless of clever marketing pitches). Also, I have de-cluttered my day and do not drag my kid all over town for activities at the cost of his feeding/sleeping/play routine.

7. About the cost of the materials: the nursery alone will save you hundreds of dollars if you go with the spartan bare style suggested in the book, rather than the unneccessarily elaborate "must have" styles pushed by baby stores and fellow mothers. EVERYONE buys their children toys, the question is what kind of toys are best for the kid? The wooden toys suggested by the book (many of which you can find on Amazon and Etsy) have no fancy electronic functions or batteries, so are cheap. For e.g., the mobiles suggested in the book cost just as much or half as much as bestselling mainstream mobiles on Amazon. Clutching toys and rattles are about $10 (Haba makes great ones, e.g. Flapsi - by HABA), which I see as reasonable, especially since they are safer. (Did you know lead is legally allowed to be present in plastics? Also, latex allergies can develop from early exposure to latex). Finally, to save costs and avoid plastic junk from making it into your home, give grandparents the Michael Olaf catalog or create a wishlist in Amazon so you get help with the Montessori materials (although I must admit this has not worked for me).

8. Someone complained about cloth diapering as being such a hassle!!! I cloth diaper, do not use a diaper service, and find the whole thing not a bit more complicated than disposables. Today's cloth diapers have come a long way. All-in-one diapers involve the same amount of work as disposables, and just a load of laundry every other day (see, for, e.g. Gro Baby Shell Set Snap, Vanilla, Dream-Eze AIO. My baby has never had a rash, and it is all due to cloth diapers.

9. Finally, to those who suggest that this book is recommending a distant parenting style, you couldn't be more wrong. I practice attachment parenting and find no conflict in this book's recommendations and my beliefs. The book suggests treating the baby as a human being not a pet (would you pick up your husband any time you felt like it???). It advocates respect for the child and for, as Maria Montessori put it, the noble work he is doing in creating man.

UPDATE

Now that my kid is 15 months, I re-read the book and have been following it quite closely with some amazing results.

First, letting the child be is invaluable advice - my son can play, "read" books on his own for a good 20-30+ minutes before he wants our attention. This will be very useful later in school, but already helps - he can focus and entertain himself without constantly needing attention/stimulation from the adults. In a dinner party we had over the holidays, people remarked how my boy was the only one of the four kids of similar ages that was not acting up, screaming, throwing food, etc., to seek parents' attention. Don't get me wrong, my goal is not to make my job easier, but I want my child to feel self-content in his activities and not needy to the point of overacting to get attention.

Second, establishing a routine for feeding in the weaning table/chair is very useful. My child eats with a fork and drinks out of a glass cup (check for Duralex tempered glass dishes - unbreakable!). He knows that food is only served on the table, so doesn't eat all over the house. He knows that food will disappear from the table once he gets up, so he doesn't get up until he is full. However, when he does leave the table, I don't chase him with a spoon - I trust he is done. Interestingly, when he is hungry he will go to his little table and pull the chair out, as if to say "feed me".

Third, the book suggests getting the child involved in housework early - not as child labor, but because they are really interested in being part of the family. Couldn't agree more - my boy LOVES to help empty the dishwasher, and helps juice fruit (drops pieces of fruit down a juicer). No toy is good enough for him when we are in the kitchen cooking/cleaning. However, our initial instincts were to shoo him away ("go play with your toys") when we were working around the house - instead we now slow down and give him simple tasks to do to help us in the process.

Fourth, the book suggests having a little space/nook in each area of the house dedicated to the child, so they feel like they are part of the family - also, excellent advice. I re-purposed the bottom shelves in existing book shelves, so I have a few toys and books in each room. He knows where his spot is every time he is in a room and is happy to proceed there and pick up his activities.

Fifth, when it comes to personal care, the book suggests letting the child help dressing/undressing, washing himself, etc. My boy giggles uncontrollably when he manages to take off his own shoes and socks. I give him a hotel-size soap bar and let him lather his own hands and feet in the bathtub - he also likes this since the squishy feeling is entertaining. He now brushes his own teeth (sucking on the brush being the highlight of this process). Of course, it takes me forever to wash and dress him when he gets involved, but I HAVE to, if I want him to gain a healthy image of himself as a human being capable of taking care of himself.

I still wish I had purchased this book when I was pregnant so I could have prepared the environment more adequately.

Finally, to the reviewer noting that having kids do things early is just for parents' bragging rights, he/she could not be more wrong. It's a matter of timing the activities to the kids interests and also settling the questions of "what, where, when" about the daily routine during the sensitive period for order before the kid rebels and talks back. My boy was too young to refuse sitting on the potty, for e.g., when I started that, so now he just accepts it as part of the routine. Same thing with eating, self-care, etc. My kid is interested in helping out in the kitchen so I let him, not the other way around. Overall, it takes monumental patience to take a step back and observe, and let the child try (clumsily of course) to participate in the life of the adults but it is necessary for their feeling of self-worth and belonging.

This book could easily be condensed to less than half its size. It contains a few good Montessori ideas for the 3-and-under crowd when it comes to the basics - sleeping, eating, etc - but I still come away from the book wanting to know what to do with/for my child in the Montessori manner on a more daily basis. Half of the book is easily spent talking about the "child bed" and feeding table alone - and that info is spread all over the book. The writing is rather hap-hazard and rambling. I would have much prefered the book be arranged by age (ex: chapter 1: 0-6 months) then subcatagorized by subject, rather than by subject alone. The authors seem to be trying to interject Montessori theory into a book about hands-on practice, and the result is a jumbled mess.

I've learned much more about child psychological development and age-appropriate ideas from "The New First Three Years of Life" by Burton White. It is chronologically ordered, then each chapter is subcatagorized.

There's a few other Montessori books on Amazon I'm going to try instead, such as "Basic Montessori, Learning Activities for Under Fives", "Teaching Montessori in the Home, the Pre-School Years", and "Montessori Play and Learn."

Montessori from the Start is not for parents or teachers new to Montessori. This book does a poor job presenting an overview of Montessori philosophy (for an excellent & succinct overview of Montessori, see Kathleen Futrell's The Normalized Child), and the tone is often condescending and irritating. One part of Maria Montessori's philosophy that Lillard & Jessen never mention is 'follow the child,' presumably because they fear that parents will misinterpret that as letting the child do whatever s/he wants (which is absolutely not what M. Montessori intended). Although there is some good information in the book, Lillard & Jessen are too programmatic. Children are NOT all the same (neither are families), and M. Montessori understood that very well.

While we implement Montessori in our home, it is tailored to what we think is most appropriate for all of us. So while my son has learned to use the potty/toilet at nineteen months, he still nurses, and we sleep in a low family bed. I would not recommend this book; instead parents might like Patricia Oriti's At Home with Montessori, Angeline Stoll Lillard's Montessori: the Science behind the Genius, and of course Maria Montessori's The Secret of Childhood to get a better idea for how to bring Montessori into the home.

I have been reading several good guides to the Montessori method, including one volume from the library I was able to get written by Montessori herself. I was hopeful that this book by Lillard would give good sound advice for practical current infant Montessori techniques based on a sound knowledge of Montessori. Unfortunately this was not the case.

My biggest complaint regarding this book was the disregard shown to infant well being. Leaving an infant alone for extended periods of time is not advisable and can be dangerous. I had a very large objection to her advice that infants should be weaned at 9 months whether the infant seemed "ready" or not. That certainly does not seem to be respecting an infant's innate intelligence. Then there was the potty training at 12 months advice. Well that may be great if your child is showing signs of readiness, it would not be advisable for the many many infants who are simply not developmentally ready at that stage. Those ideas of the author are in direct conflict with Montessori principles of giving children materials for their developmental readiness. Not all children will be ready then and forcing them as the author seems to suggest will not likely lead to positive results.

There are much better guides out there and this one I simply cannot recommend as it is harsh and gives an impression of Montessori principles that is not truly accurate in many instances.

While I disagree with the weaning advice in this book and have found many ideas which do not work with my children, there are many good pieces of information in this book. I would recommend only using it if you have a base knowledge of Montessori principles (respecting the child's instinct as well as the parental instinct) and are willing to sort through a lot of jumbled information. In the end, I have picked and chosen the advice I choose to use for my family based on my family's ever-changing needs and the goals I have for my own children.

My family does use the floor bed with stiff bolster pillows so as to reduce the risk of SIDS. We also use a family-bed which is contrary to the book's advice, but it works best for my family. At 18 months old, my children were/are still nursing (again against the book's advice). We do use cloth diapers which I LOVE. I was a single mother and full-time student when my oldest son was born and the time that would have been spent working to pay for disposables was far greater than the time I spent cleaning and otherwise dealing with cloth, plus I got to stay with my son during that time.... it was worth it for me, but not necessarily for everyone.

I have made our house baby-safe (not baby-proof) meaning that my children have no need for cribs or playpens, though we do use gates to shut off certain rooms. This way the children can safely explore certain areas of the house while I work with the other children, or study, or if I am too pregnant to jump quick enough to get a child out of an unsafe cupboard. My children are learning independence as well as interdependence.

Again, I have used several of the points from this book, but have put my family's own needs first.

The core of the Montessori method is that the child's and family's needs must both be considered as well as the goals each parent has for his/her child.


PS Yes, Montessori schools have fenced playgrounds, and even this book recommends the use of baby-gates as needed - this is a safety issue which allows for as much freedom as possible for the child within certain boundaries which respects safety and the needs of others - another key aspect of Montessori's philosophy.

[...]

Montessori is not a parenting style, attachment parents or more mainstream parents can all apply montessori methods at home. How long the baby nurses, where they sleep, at what age they sleep through the night, none of that is montessori! Different cultures parent differently, and one of Maria Montessori's main criteria for montessori education was that it be relevant to the era and culture that the child lives in. She never went into specifics on any of the crap that these authors go into.

I think it is wrong for them to infiliterate their own parenting tactics under the banner of Montessori methods, I hope to find a book that is more relevant and true to what it advertises that it is on it's cover and cover notes.

Lillard and Jesson seem to be advocating an emotionally distant style of parenting, the better to train the child to be independent. A quick glance at the book's reference section will tell you that the authors are not widely read in even popular medical literature about infants and among other researchers somehow missed out on the Harry Harlow's and his wife's famous experiments with monkeys showing that loving and attentive parents are the best chance for a child's intelligence and emotional well-being.
Probably the only useful advice in the book is to keep children rooted in the concrete world, but this advice isn't anything special about this book.
And as a specific example of how silly the book is, on page 193, the authors advocate avoiding Legos, because *they come with directions for a model*. If Legos aren't a great toy for fostering a child's creativity, then I don't know what the authors' real aim is in this book.
The worst part about buying this book is that the whole thing is written like the authors thought they were writing a scholarly work for the 1940s!

I am a new mom hoping to learn about ways to implement the Montessori method in my home for my 15 month old son. As others have noted, this book focuses on babies. Further, it gives the impression that if you have missed this window, your child may not properly develop the ability to develop his attention span. Also, as others have noted the advice to wean a child at 9 months is contrary to recommendations by the AAP and the WHO. Terrible advice! I also was shocked to hear them recommend that you shut your two year old in their room at bedtime even if they protest their bedtime.

This book has stressed me out and I wish I had never opened it up.

This is the first Montessori book I read after hearing about it years ago. I expected to learn about the method, which I did, thanks to the book's clear writing and pragmatic choice of content. But quite unexpectedly, and more importantly so, it opens up a new horizon in my personal relation with children that is at once profound and practicable.
The Montessori method begins with acknowledging a child as a developing but incomplete individual. Being developing but incomplete, she needs help in facilitation rather than education in the conventional sense, which tends to be pre-packaged and indoctrinating. Being an individual, she is on a journey to adulthood that is her own, with an inner self to emerge and a will to grow. Her goal is a reflective person who knows her way and summons her will to walk in it. There is a properly spiritual dimension that appeals immediately to me. According to the authors who founded their own Montessori school over twenty years ago, "Montessori children" are known for their calmness and inner strength.

While the method normally applies to school-aged children, this book claims to be the first attempt to extend it to babies below three in the home context. I think the authors have succeeded in piecing together a coherent and convincing picture, from years of experience in the field, as well as their own families. (The second author is in fact daughter of the first who raised her in the Montessori manner.) The theory is well formulated and clearly presented, with detailed advice on practical matters such as helping babies to sleep, food, clothings, toilet, etc. that are derived from it. It therefore reads coherent and whole, unlike many other baby care books that tend to appear piecemeal and ad hoc.

This book is especially challenging to parents in modern societies, who tend to distract their children from their individual missions with many toys and activities. It may not be far-fetched to speculate that it has helped cause the increasing problem of attention deficiency among children today. Whether it is or not, the Montessori method for babies and up should be its direct prevention.