Customer Reviews

The Moral Intelligence of Children

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I found the authors case studies very useful and amusing. They made the subjest matter easier to grasp and understand in a way that I could relate it to my own experiences. The whole issue is a facinating and pertinant one in this day and age

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind." So said Henry James in response to his nephew when he sought advice on what he ought to do with his life. Robert Coles, known for his extraordinarily insightful thought-provoking and profoundly sensitive five-volume work, Children in Crisis, delves into what it means to be moral and goes further to examine how children - even very young children - acquire moral values, that is learning empathy and living by the Golden Rule, not to do unto others what one would not want done unto himself.

In the first part, "Moral Intelligence," Dr. Coles examines what it means to be a good person or a not-so-good person. He discusses moral intelligence, that is, how children learn empathy and respect for others and themselves. He shows how this moral intelligence is as important, if not more important, other forms of human success and intellectual achievement.

In the second part, "The Moral Archaeology of Childhood," Dr. Coles explores how children acquire empathy and other critical moral values at various stages of childhood. Drawing upon the work of Anna Freud, the infant and toddler quickly learns by the limits of "Yes" and "No." He also discusses the problems of the spoiled child and how to prevent a baby from growing up to be a bully. Dr. Coles refers to the elementary school years as the "Age of Conscience," the period when a child's verbal skills enables him to take in what he sees, hears, and reads and try to make sense of everything. In his section on adolescence, Dr. Coles explores how teens try to cope with decisions and how to understand life and new responsibilities, including coping with alcohol, drugs, sex, and other moral questions. It is during these latter two stages of development that adults play a major role in the moral development of the child by leading through example and espousing positive and meaningful values themselves.

The role of adults - parents, teachers, caretakers, and doctors - is more fully explored in the third section of the book, "Letter to Teachers and Parents." Case studies of young people in the first two decades of their life provide important illustrations on the conscious and subconscious messages adults and society send to the next generation, with considerable introspection as to how parents and teachers in particular can best help children cultivate kindness and empathy by relating to them at their level and sending positive messages not through books and lectures, but actions.

Like Fred Rogers, Maria Montessori, Jonathan Kozol, and Janusz Korczak, Robert Coles knows how to relate to children on their level, as full human beings at an early stage of development rather than as miniature adults or "people in training." Such people are rare; anyone who cares about children would do well reading the works of these special pedagogues. The Moral Intelligence of Children is a valuable contribution to this important genre.

The description of the book made me believe that I would learn more about how children develop morals. The greatest revelation of the psychiatrist author is that character is the foundation of behavior. There are few novel thoughts stuck somewhere in the lengthy descriptions of his meetings. I felt at times he focused too much on creating a mood or setting that is best left to fiction.

I bought the book, expecting to know the solution on how to raise my kids so that they become good members of the society. But what I got was just a guideline that I should teach my children well during their early years. It's all too simple to hear from such an expert. There is nothing new on how to raise a moral child compared with what I can get from a good how-to-raise-a-child book. The quality of contents in this book is no way near Emotional Intelligence