9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
on June 7, 2007
I bought this book the day it was released. As a recovering Christian Nice Guy, I try to glean whatever I can wherever I can. This was a pretty good book, but frankly, I liked No More Christian Nice Guy better. To tell you the truth, I may have to read this one again to understand it better. It may resonate better with me the next time around. Sure, it talked about bullies and victims, but I didn't see much raw advice on how a kid should stand up for himself should he get bullied by some other kid at school. In Coughlin's previous book, No More Christian Nice Guy, Coughlin, who's a soccer coach, gives some life-giving advice to one of his boys on his soccer team who was being picked on. Coughlin gave him some raw advice on physical self-defense should this boy be confronted by the bully again. i didn't see any examples like this in his most recent book. I wish I did see some examples like that one. Like I said earlier in this review, I'll probably have to read it again in order for it to really resonate with me. Things I saw in this book that I liked was it did encourage children, Christian in particular, to be more willful and assertive. He also wrote for kids to be more adventuresome and for parents to stop being so overprotective. I like how he wrote how parents should make it a point to raise more confident and less timid kids. Don't get me wrong on what I wrote earlier, Paul Coughlin is for self-defense, let it be emotional, verbal, or physical. I think you should also read No More Christian Nice Guy if you're going to read this one. I still think this book is a blessing not only for Christian parents but also for parents of kids with learning disabilities i.e. autism/asperger's, and various forms of LD, etc. I like how COughlin wrote about how to spot and repell adult predators. I like how he wrote about how he didn't correct one of his boys for not wanting to approach a relative who was in a foul mood. I do like how this book encourages parents to raise kids to be more assertive, which I think is a very useful skill for kids.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on July 27, 2009
This book has challenged me as a parent and I'm sure it will challenge many other folks as well. Although I didn't agree completely with a few things, I must admit it was a very thought provoking book about raising children that I'd recommend you read.
Coughlin suggest that many families in the Christian community are instilling in their children to be nice instead of good. He uses several Bible references to support the fact that we shouldn't be passive in certain situations. One such example would be when a child is unable/unwilling to stand up for themselves or for others in situations where bullying is occurring.
The chapter titles are self explanatory and are as follows:
Timid Living: The Essence of the Problem, What Happened to Courage and Integrity?, Overprotective Parents, Underdeveloped Kids, Links Between Over-Parenting and Social Disaster, The Line Between Protection and Overprotection, Spotting and Propelling Adult Predators, The Dangers of a "Nice" Christian Up brining, Truth About Bullies and Victims, Our Choice: Be Part of the Agony, or Part of the Answer, The Protectors: Letting Faith Get in the Way, Where, Parents, Shall Courage Be Found?, and Traits of the Courageous.
At the end of the book there is a self-test for parents to help determine if they are being too overprotective of their children.
Positive Elements: I found this book to be a helpful balancing tool, encouraging me to raise my children to be strong and to stand up for what's right even when it's difficult and/or sometimes unpopular. There are also a few biographies and examples from folks who have needed to show courage in the face of opposition that were helpful as well
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on April 19, 2009
This book is a must read for all parents, teachers and child caregivers. It is an informative and instructional guide to raising children to not be afraid of standing up for themselves or for others (to avoid bullying). Coughlin suggests that Christian children are instilled with the concept of being nice instead of being good, which leads them to being passive in situations where they really should be taking action. There we re several references to Bible passages to support his points.
Coughlin also spends a good amount of time discussing what courage really is and how to help children develop it. There is a self-test for parents at the end of the book to help determine if they are being too overprotective of their children and thus possibly making them vulnerable to being bullied.
Some older children could also benefit from reading this book. It contained stories of celebrities who were teased/bullied when they were younger. This may help them feel they are not alone in their situations. Overall, this book is a good guide to helping raise children to be strong and to stand up for what's right even if it may cause others to ridicule them. Coughlin does this by providing specific examples of how to become active in life instead of just standing on the sidelines.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on August 9, 2007
I heard about this book from the Dr. Laura website (big fan!) and I'm in the middle of reading it. So far, it's proven to be a wonderful tool in parenting - it includes extensive information on bullying. I'm learning a lot of the signs and strategies about bullying - how to identify it, what to do, etc. There's also a Christian basis to a lot of what Mr. Coughlin writes about that helps ground his theories and advice.
on February 15, 2014
I read this years ago when my kids were tots, loved it, and passed it on to a friend. Now, 5 years later, I've bought another copy and I'm enjoying it even more. This is about parenting with long-term vision, grounded on faith in Christ.