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More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations (Hazelden Meditation Series) + The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series + Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
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Product Details

  • Series: Hazelden Meditation Series
  • Paperback: 432 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden (September 21, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1568385587
  • ISBN-13: 978-1568385587
  • Product Dimensions: 7.3 x 5 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,574 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children and freelance author and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs."There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back.Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

This is a book of essays, meditations, and activities—one for each day of the year. You can use it to begin your year on January 1. Or you can begin your year on your birthday, the day some people believe begins their personal new year. It's a companion book to the original Language of Letting Go (not a replacement or updated edition) and can be used by itself or in conjunction with that book. You can roll along with your life and use the book to address issues that arise. Or you can use this book as a workbook—or "playbook"—to address specific areas and issues you'd like to focus on in the upcoming year, such as releasing an outdated relationship or behavior, achieving cherished goals, or moving to the next level in work, in love, or in life.

The essay that falls on the first day of each month explores the theme for the month. Each monthly topic is a major component in the process of letting go. You will also notice that skydiving, my new passion, has turned out to be a beautiful metaphor for the art of letting go and letting God do for us what we can't do for ourselves.

I use God as the predominant word for references to God, Higher Power, Jehovah, or Allah. I may use He or She as the pronoun for God, depending on my mood. I mean no harm, nor is it my intention to discriminate or offend. Substitute whatever word pleases you to describe your idea of God.

The prayers and ideas are meant as suggestions.

May God bless you, your family, friends, and loved ones in this year to come. And may you guide yourself joyfully through the journey you choose, or have been called, to take.


January 1                                                        Trust that good will come


It was a slow, boring January day at the Blue Sky Lodge. We had just moved in. The house was a mess. Construction hadn't begun yet. All we had was a plan, and a dream. It was too cold and rainy to skydive or even be outdoors. There wasn't any furniture yet. We were lying around on the floor.

I don't know who got the idea first, him or me. But we both picked up Magic Markers about the same time. Then we started drawing on the wall.

"What do you want to happen in your life?" I asked. He drew pictures of seaplanes, and mountains, and boats leaving the shore. One picture was a video-camera man, jumping out of a plane. "I want adventure," he said.

I drew pictures of a woman tromping around the world. She went to war-torn countries, then sat on a fence and watched. She visited the mountains and the oceans and many exciting places. Then I drew a heart around the entire picture, and she sat there in the middle of all the experiences on a big stack of books.

"I want stories," I said, "ones with a lot of heart."

Across the entire picture, in big letters, he wrote the word "Woohoo."

As an afterthought, I drew a woman sky diver who had just jumped out of the plane. She was frightened and grimacing. Next to her I wrote the words "Just relax."

On the bottom of the wall I wrote, "The future is only limited by what we can see now." He grabbed a marker, crossed out "only," and changed it to "never."

"There," he said, "it's done."

Eventually, the house got cleaned up and the construction finished. Furniture arrived. And yellow paint covered the pictures on the wall. We didn't think much about that wall until months later. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and sometimes in ways we'd least expect, each of the pictures we'd drawn on that wall began to materialize and manifest.

"It's a magic wall," I said.

Even if you can't imagine what's coming next, relax. The good pictures are still there. The wall will soon become covered with the story of your life. Thank God, the future is never limited by what we can see right now.

The wall isn't magic.

The magic is in us and what we believe.

Before we start speaking the language of letting go, we need to understand what a powerful behavior letting go and letting God really is.


God, help me do my part. Then help me let go, and let you do yours.


Activity:
Meditate for a moment on the year ahead. Make a list of things you'd like to see happen, attributes you'd like to gain, things you'd like to get and do, changes you'd like to occur. You don't have to limit the list to this year. What do you want to happen in your life? Make a list of places you'd like to visit and things you'd like to see. Leave room for the unexpected, the unintended. But make room for the possibility of what you'd like, too—your intentions, wishes, dreams, hopes, and goals. Also, list what you're ready to let go of, too—things, people, attitudes, and behaviors you'd like to release. If anything were possible, anything at all, what are the possibilities you'd like to experience and see?



January 2                                                                                Doing my part



The surest way to become Tense, Awkward, and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard—one that thinks too much.

Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh


The universe will help us, but we need to do our part as well. Here's an acronym, My Part, to help you remember what it means to do that.

Manifest
Your

Power
Accept
Relax
Trust


Too often, we tell ourselves the only way to get from point A to point B—or Z—is to tense up, obsess a little (or a lot), and live in fear and anxiety until what we want takes place.

That isn't the path to success. It's the path to fear and anxiety.

Accept. Relax. Breathe. Let go. Trust yourself, God, and the universe to manifest the best possible destiny when the time is right for you.


God, help me make the journey from fear and control to letting go and stepping into my true power.

January 3                                                                    Bring your ideals to life



There is a Zen story about two monks walking down a street after a heavy rain. Arriving at a corner, they came upon a beautiful girl in fine clothing unable to cross the muddy street without getting filthy.

"Here, I'll help you," said one monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to the other side. The two monks walked in silence for a long time.

"We've sworn a vow of celibacy and are not supposed to go near women. It's dangerous," the second monk said to the first. "Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl back at the corner," the first monk said. "Are you still carrying her?"

Sometimes, we may find ourselves in a situation where our ideals conflict. Being kind and loving to another person may conflict with our value of being committed and loving toward ourselves.

When one ideal imposes on another, then use your judgment. Do the right thing by others. Do the right thing by yourself, too. Then let the incident pass and move on.

For the monks in our story, right action usually meant not having contact with women. However, when encountering a stranded person on the road, right action became helping others. Ideals remain. Right thought, right action, right speech—but the path to those ideals may twist and turn throughout life. Be sensitive and aware that you are following an ideal and not a rigid belief.


God, help me learn when it's time to let go.


Activity:
In an earlier activity, we explored our goals and dreams list. Now, let's determine the ethics and ideals we want to live by, the code of conduct we want to follow. What's of foremost importance to you, whether or not your dreams come true and you achieve your goals? Examples of ideals may be staying clean and sober, honoring your commitments to others, and honoring your commitment to yourself. Many people choose additional spiritual values, such as compassion, honesty, tolerance. Some people choose to live by an ideal they call "Christ Consciousness," some "Buddha Consciousness," some the "Twelve Steps," and some the "Ten Commandments." List your ideals, and put that list with your goals. Let these ideals be a light that guides your path and allows you to live in harmony with others and yourself.

 

©2008. All rights reserved. Reprinted from More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Hazelden Publishing, PO Box 176 , Center City, MN  55012-0176.


More About the Author

Melody Beattie is one of America's most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term "codependency" in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody's words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they're going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. "Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift," said Time Magazine.

Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.

"My mother was a classic codependent," Melody recalls. "If she had a migraine, she wouldn't take an aspirin because she didn't do drugs. She believed in suffering." Unlike her mother, Melody was determined to self-medicate her emotional pain. Beattie began drinking at age 12, was a full-blown alcoholic by age 13, and a junkie by 18, even as she graduated from high school with honors. She ran with a crowd called "The Minnesota Mafia" who robbed pharmacies to get drugs. After several arrests, a judge mandated that she had to "go to treatment for as long as it takes or go to jail."

Melody continued to score drugs in treatment until a spiritual epiphany transformed her. "I was on the lawn smoking dope when the world turned this purplish color. Everything looked connected--like a Monet painting. It wasn't a hallucination; it was what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls 'a spiritual awakening.' Until then, I'd felt entitled to use drugs. I finally realized that if I put half as much energy into doing the right thing as I had into doing wrong, I could do anything," Beattie said.

After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn't sober; he'd been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage.

During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn't about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn't a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn't coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?

Driven into the ground financially by her husband's alcoholism, Melody turned a life-long passion for writing into a career in journalism, writing about the issues that had consumed her for years. Her 24-year writing career has produced fifteen books published in twenty languages and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles. She has been a frequent guest on many national television shows, including Oprah. She and her books continue to be featured regularly in national publications including Time, People, and most major periodicals around the world.

Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. "I wanted to die, but I kept waking up alive," she says. She began skydiving, mountain-climbing, and teaching others what she'd learned about grief.

Customer Reviews

There's no index, but you will find it comical how you do read the book.
Sally
For daily inspiration and thought-provoking outlooks on daily living, this book is one of Melody Beattie's best.
P. Little
This book will help you in your journey of living and cultivating an active consciousness in your daily life.
Richard A. Singer Jr.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful By C. Scagliola on August 28, 2002
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Hello All,
Ok, so I said I would review this title upon reading it so, here it is. First impression is these daily readings, have a different feel than those in "The language of letting go". I'm not saying that they are bad, just that the seem more polished(for lack of a better word). I think that if I was just starting a 12 step program, I would much prefer the former title (The language of letting go)over this edition.
You can see in these new readings how Melody has progressed in her own recovery, an inspiration no doubt. What I find is lacking is the frustration that she felt in her first book. I think it's important that new comers feel that frustration as well to know that they aren't alone.
So, would I recommend this title.......INDEED!! I just think that you should *PROGRESS* to this edition only after spending time with the original.
Ciao!!
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful By "ladylucero" on January 9, 2001
Format: Paperback
Another great book from the premier guru of recovery!
In "The Language of Letting Go" Melody Beattie gave us 365 memorable meditations on detaching from toxic relationships. "More Language of Letting Go" takes us to new heights ;-) as Melody uses metaphors of skydiving as her framework.
Life is handing you scary changes and challenges? Melody advises, say "WooHOO!" as you step into the unknown. Not sure how to handle a tricky situation? Try "dirt-diving," Melody suggests, rehearsing your movements "on the ground" before you need them for real "in the air." She speaks from an incredible fund of experience--and from the heart--as she counsels us to learn to say "Whatever" and to approach life with an attitude of gratitude.
Melody's books are always a treasure store of no-nonsense, compassionate advice that works. In this book I particularly liked her comparing life to a high-risk sport. She suggests that as participants in life, we should sign a full waiver, accepting personal responsibility for all our decisions and forfeiting any right to recourse as a victim, "including my rights to blame, complain, and whine or hold someone else responsible for the path I choose to take."
WooHOO! You GO, girl!
Melody, your final chapter heading is a good description of this whole book: "How Sweet It Is!"
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 16, 2003
Format: Paperback
This is a WONDERFUL daily reading! I read it through last year and am starting over this year. There are some passages that just jump out and smack you in the head because they relate to what you are going throught at the exact time you read it.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Sally on March 27, 2004
Format: Paperback
After working a 12 step for 9 months, read Language of Letting Go. Brought me in touch w/my feelings. Then my spouse went into
AA. "More Language of Letting Go" continued me on my path to
getting in touch w/my feelings. There's no index, but you
will find it comical how you do read the book. I highly
recommend Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" as a follow-up to
this one!
By reading these 3 books, I know more what I want and can name
the things I want. Before I couldn't.
Beattie pegs it beautifully, when no one else can.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By J. Wright on October 31, 2008
Format: Paperback
The original "Language of Letting Go" is absolutely my favorite daily meditation book! So, I purchased "More Language of Letting Go" with great anticipation. I have never been so disappointed in a book in my life! It was more like reading someone's diary of personal adventures. It was full of egocentric comparisons between skydiving and daily struggles. I didn't find it inspirational at all.
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14 of 19 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 29, 2002
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was a self-serving JOURNAL of the flying and sky-diving accomplishments of the author. If I wanted to know about her personal life and adventures - I would become a pen-pal. The two books, "MORE..." and "Language...", are like night and day! The two could not be more different! Never have I regretted buying a book more.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Mary Jane Martin on January 18, 2009
Format: Paperback
I am not an addict or recovering addict, but this book changed my life for the better. It is simply that I respond well to the way this author puts things, you might say. I would have given this book 5 stars, but the orginal Language of Letting Go (this is *More* Language of Letting Go) is better. However, I certainly recommend having them both and using them both on a daily basis.

The author does get a little bogged down with framing things through her experience of jumping out of airplanes and learning to be a pilot, and that got a little old. But you can read ahead or go backwards if you don't like one day's meditation.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By redhead on November 5, 2008
Format: Paperback
I would recommend this book to anyone going through a tough time in their lives. It is a daily reminder to keep you going in the right direction. I do not like that it is so religious, but otherwise enjoy the book very much.
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