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A More Perfect Union: How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life [Hardcover]

Hana Schank (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 7, 2006
Hana Schank had never given much thought to her wedding, or even really imagined herself married, so when she found herself suddenly sporting a brand-new engagement ring she assumed planning a small, low-key wedding would be no big deal. But soon she finds herself adrift in Wedding Land, a world where all brides are expected to want to look like Cinderella, where women plan weddings with fantasy butterfly themes, where a woman's wedding is, without question, the Happiest Day of Her Life.

Despite her best efforts not to become a Bridezilla, Hana finds herself transformed from a thirty-year-old woman with a 401(k) into a nearly unrecognizable version of herself as she spends weeks crafting save-the-date cards, worries about matching her cocktails to her wedding colors, and obsessively reads "Martha Stewart Weddings" magazine.

She decides that, if she is going to follow traditions like wearing white and walking down the aisle with flowers, she at least wants to understand why. In her search she turns up interesting wedding facts: bridesmaids, for instance, were originally recruited to confuse evil spirits. Ultimately, she casts a critical eye on the $72 billion wedding industry, from the women at wedding websites who cackle over the etiquette missteps of others to wedding magazines that provide checklists of 187 tasks to plan the perfect wedding, suggesting that to have anything less is to fail as a bride, as a woman, as a wife.

Part confessional memoir, part social critique, "A More Perfect Union" chronicles a year in Wedding Land, capturing as it does not only the stresses but the undoubted joys of becoming a bride.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Schank, a former fabulously single Manhattanite, plays wedding historian, documentarian, Brooklynite and cynical bride-to-be in this wry take on the wedding industry. While chronicling the planning nightmares, screw-ups and family squabbles leading up to her big day, Schank pontificates on nuptial-planning touchstones, offering little in the way of surprise: Schank, as she makes clear from the outset, is way cooler than other brides, and, by being aware of how uncool it is to do the uncool things everyone else does (like admiring her engagement ring or reading wedding magazines), she's demonstrating how cool she really is. An episode involving the most important purchase of all-the dress-but packs the not so shocking revelation that most women, regardless of their socio-economic status, want to look like fairy tale princesses standing at the altar. The best material here is the wedding trivia she sprinkles in (bridesmaids were originally supposed to confuse evil spirits; the best man helped the groom carry off an unwilling bride after a little village pillaging), but it's not enough to save an otherwise predictable and not always funny memoir.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Schank's journey from engaged to enraged to ecstatic is at once wry, informative, scary, and utterly hilarious. Finally, a book that documents the sheer insanity of today's $72 billion wedding industry while making you laugh out loud on almost every page."

-- Cathi Hanauer, author of "Sweet Ruin" and editor of "The Bitch in the House"


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Atria (February 7, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743277368
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743277365
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,736,731 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (10 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars An essential reflection on the wedding industry and modern bride experience, July 4, 2006
By 
This review is from: A More Perfect Union: How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life (Hardcover)
Hanna Schank's story of "How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life" is essential reading for any bride, groom, family member, wedding party member, newlywed, wedding guest, literature fan, or memoir fan. I read this book just a year after planning my own wedding, I had repeated moments of identification with Schank's experience. I would have loved to have been given this book as a bride-to-be.

Schank was a highly successful 30-year-old New York woman when she got engaged. She experienced a year of the tug of Bridezilla-ness despite her best efforts to keep her wedding plans in check. The became obsessed with her wedding colors despite her original plans to allow everyone to dress as they wished. She initially spurned registries and then became irritated with people who didn't believe in them. After laughing at the notion of Save the Date cards, Schank painstakingly hand-tied bows on hundreds of them, and was then crushed when they didn't garner effuse praise from the recipients. At some point, Schank succumbed to the belief in "My Day" and flew off the handle at vendors who refused alter their standard packages to meet her unique needs.

In addition to her first-hand bride experience, Schank possesses research skills and an MFA in non-fiction writing, so she is supremely qualified to reflect on her experience with the modern bridal industry. She muses about the invention of the registry, about the social networking of wedding site The Knot, about the "once in a lifetime" mantra of the wedding industrial machine (spend the money, this is once in a lifetime), and about traditional Victorian etiquette versus the realities of modern life.

Grammy serves as the perfect foil to all of Schank's wedding planning. Over the telephone, Schank has to repeatedly explain to her aged grandmother the wedding plans, the reasons behind traditions, and what she needs from her relatives. Schank's witty prose ties the story together well. One of my favorite passages is about the trickle of wedding gifts that start arriving after the invitations are mailed: "Other people called our parents and informed them that they didn't see anything on the registry they liked, and therefore wanted to know what else we might want. This was particularly confusing because the whole point of having a registry in the first place was so that people won't have to call you up and ask you what you want. In theory, everything you want is on the registry. And really, who cared if the gift-giver didn't like anything on the registry? It wasn't going to them ... People want to sent you something that they see as representative of their personality, even if their personality representation isn't necessarily something you want hanging around your house. You therefore must live with a butt-ugly set of ceramic dessert plates or a set of Judaic art depicting a Jewish bridge and groom in renaissance costume, as opposed to the really nice set of crystal highball glasses you spent several weeks hunting for."

The combination of personal experience, terrific research and historical perspective, and witty naration makes this memoir a surefire winner.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Smart, funny debut, March 16, 2006
By 
JP (New York) - See all my reviews
This review is from: A More Perfect Union: How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life (Hardcover)
This weddingland memoir takes the modern-day nuptial industry to task with a sense of humor and honesty that is unrelenting. By recounting her own experiences as a bride-to-be, Hana Schank illustrates how the "manufactured need" pawned by industry magazines, shops and web sites turns perfectly independent and cosmopolitan women (like her) into obsessive denizens of the commercial culture. The author's capacity for self-depreciation not only helps to illustrate wedding excesses and absurdities (she spends weeks tying fancy ribbons for her save-the-date cards), but it makes her a very likable companion for the book's 211 pages. This is a deft and entertaining read, whether you're married, single or somewhere in-between.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Landmines on the Path to the Altar, March 16, 2006
By 
Cassidy Busch (Ann Arbor, MI United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: A More Perfect Union: How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life (Hardcover)
Hana Schank channels both her inner Martha Stewart and her inner Larry David as she spends a year preparing for her "more perfect" wedding. As she chronicles her conversations with salespeople, extended family, and on-line confidents, she is honest about her naked reactions to the odd world surrrounding the bride-to-be. Her engaging writing chronicles the annoying, tasteless, and touching encounters that are the landmines on her path to the altar. In the end, she makes sense of these wedding traditions through her experience of the changing tides of family ties. Schank is not too hip to have a real wedding, but her wit, cynicism, and romanticism combine to produce an entertaining and emotional memoir.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
white gates, scan gun, wedding website, wind trio, wedding colors, wedding magazines, wedding industry, sample dresses, bridal salon, wedding registry
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
More Perfect Union, The Knot, New York, Martha Stewart Weddings, Vera Wang, Cha Cha, Wedding Land, City Hall, Modern Bride, Princess Diana, Labor Day, Hebrew School, Queen Victoria, Victorian Lilac, Memorial Day, Carolyn Bessette, Waited Too Long, Valentine's Day, Happiest Day, Cheese Lady
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Front Cover | Front Flap | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Flap | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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