Customer Reviews

Mortician Diaries: The Dead-Honest Truth from a Life Spent with Death

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

You might not expect a memoir by an eighty-year-old woman to deal with topics such as gang warfare, AIDS, racism, unplanned pregnancies, and feminism, but this one does. You also might not expect a book called Mortician Diaries to be anything but morbid, but Nadle possesses the gift of bringing her over 50-year-long career as a mortician and her lust for life to the page. She's the kind of woman who visits cemeteries when she travels, to see how different cultures treat the dead. She uses phrases like "death care industry" and urges readers to create a "dialogue on death," but never lapses into a cold, analytical account. Every page is bursting with humanity, with people who are learning how to grieve in their own way. This book is as much about psychology as it is about death.

June Nadle's Mortician's Diaries offer a rare, heartfelt, and wonderfully honest insight into the "highlights" of the career of a lifelong mortician, capturing some of the most emotionally intense and interesting stories from her years working with death. The grandmotherly Nadle doesn't shy away from the subject, and encourages her readers to openly confront and discuss death, not in an obsessive, morbid way, but to gain closure and be as prepared as possible when the time comes, even though sometimes death catches us anawares. She offers case studies, such as an elderly woman who planned every detail of her own funeral to the story of a mother clinging to her newly-dead baby, unable to accept his death despite the blood soaking his tiny body, until Nadle speaks to her mother to mother and allows her to see that her older children also need her to be present for them. Nadle does not judge her clients, but offers psychological insights into why denial rears its head and how natural it is. In "The Mother Who Risked Her Life to Grieve," Nadle tells of one service, after a gang-related drive-by shooting, that's interrupted by bullets, and the following day the trip to the ceremony is made along with patrol cars flanking the mourners.

Her case studies are fascinating, and showcase a wide swath of humanity, across cultures and relationships. Friends, lovers, husbands, wives, parents, and children mourn for those they've lost as well as grapple with their sometimes conflicted relationships with the deceased. Nadle allows each of them to work their way toward mourning rather than pushing a socially-approved agenda or timeline onto them. She handles each one with dignity and compassion, and clearly attempts to understand the often-painful mix of emotions the bereaved feel.

As someone who's always tried to escape talking about death, especially when it comes to my most loved ones, I welcomed Nadle's approach. She has seen deaths of humans and animals, often under horrific, or simply human, circumstances, and offers a brief glimpse into her wisdom and, most of all, her heart. By reading of the many who did not appreciate their loved ones during life, whether the parents who shunned their gay sons who later died of AIDS, or the father who berated his little girl for, well, not being a boy, only regretting this when she was killed by a passing car at age four, to the father who sent his 17-year-old pregnant daughter away and made her feel ashamed, one gains an appreciation for one's own family. Nadle reminds us that it's not just life versus death, but about the quality of one's life that matters. She writes: "As humans, we have the unique ability to pause, to reflect, to acknowledge life, and to be reminded of our own mortal natures. In addition to our grief, death brings us the opportunity to reassess our own lives as well as our relationships so we can vow (maybe again) to make changes we see are needed." She offers various examples of how funerals can be conducted and the value they provided to the surviving family and friends.

Though this book will most likely bring tears to your eyes, it's not solemn or overly sad, but instead is about, as she would have it, a celebration of life and all that's in it.

June has a wonderful way of presenting the intriguing stories then briefly discussing the significance of the experience. Through her stories she discusses teaching children about death, forgiving the dead, forgiving yourself after a loved one has died, stages of grief, and looking at death realisticly rather than with fear. Some stories are comical, some are heart-wrenching, and others are eye-opening. My husband and I read this book together and really enjoyed it! Thanks June!

Excellently written book. Written with love, compassion, and a deep understanding of love, life, and death. A must read for anyone and everyone!

I have to agree with a couple of the other reviews.. sometimes seemed like the author writing a book about what a good person she is in the various cases she has dealt with. After each story she gives insight.. or translates what we are supposed to come away with after reading the story. I think I would have rather come to my own conclusions. It's a nice, short read though.. stories you would expect when dealing with grieving people who have lost a loved one.

I purchased this book because I am going to school for Mortuary Science and I thought it would benefit me to read about the experiences of a seasoned woman funeral director. I was right! This book is not morbid in the least, as a matter of fact, it focuses on the lives and loved ones who are left behind when someone dies. The book is well written and heartfelt. It was so engaging that I finished it in one day. I literally could not put it down. I am going to keep this book handy when I finish school so I can reference how the author dealt with certain delicate situations and apply it to my job.

It's difficult to criticize a book like this because it's a memoir, but I was expecting more. The cover is what drew me to the book because it led me to believe that the author would saturate her memories with personality. I found that this wasn't the case. I feel that it lacked depth and personality. I would have liked to have learned why she decided to become a mortician and I probably would have been more interested in her life (which she gives the reader a glimpse of) than the people and families that stood out during her career. I found it hard to connect with her on an emotional level because she didn't really offer much in that department.

But it seems like her goal in writing this book was to hopefully educate people about the need to talk about death and sort out their final wishes before they die so as not to leave it all to their loved ones when they're least capable of dealing with such issues. I really hope she has succeeded in this goal.

If reading memoirs along this line is what you're interested in, I highly recommend Amber Lenore Winckler's The Final Bath (which I've read and enjoyed) and its sequel, Into the Hands of Strangers (which I plan on reading soon). She definitely lets her personality shine through and I felt it was easier to connect with her and her characters. She really gives the reader a good view of what it's like to be in what June Knights Nadle lovingly referred to as the "death care industry."

I loved this book. It made me laugh and it made me cry. It's highly entertaining! While I was looking more for a "gory" book, which this book really isn't, it's still definitely one of my favorite books now. If you're looking for a book full of gore and cuss words, this is not the book. However, if you are looking for a book filled with meaningful stories and interesting facts about morticians, then this is a great book!

This was a nice, little book that gave me a look inside a very interesting woman's unique life. There are no gory details, just stories about some of the customers this mortician has dealt with. Able to read in a few hours.

I could definitely feel the empathy the author had for all those whose lives touched hers. It is an easy book to read with a lot of information about the various aspects of her business. This book made me more aware of questions to ask when faced with a loved one passing or to prepare for my own "next adventure". I would recommend this book.

This is a gentle memoir from a woman (one of the first) to dedicate her career to being a mortician, who speaks with compassion from her 50-year career. She aptly paints many pictures of death, some touching and others tragic or bizarre, as gleaned from the survivors in their moment of loss. There is nothing morbid in this short book, however, and it is a quick read in just 135 pages. Importantly, she counsels us not to leave matters undone: "In the course of my work, the words I've heard more often than any others are, "I wish . . . " Nadle says that she "witnessed so many tragedies of words unspoken, dreams unfulfilled, and relationships unmended, that it gradually changed how I looked at life. Kind words should not go unspoken, nor should the sweet gesture go unfulfilled. Wishes should not rot into regrets. I learned about avoiding unnecessary pain . . . Everyone benefits when you deal openly and realistically with death . . . You owe it to yourself and the ones you love to take this responsibility seriously." While this is also my personal philosophy, I welcomed her reminder to put my thoughts into action.