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Mortified: Real Words. Real People. Real Pathetic. [Paperback]

David Nadelberg
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 28, 2006
Share the shame.

In the days before blogs, teenagers recorded their lives with a pen in top-secret notebooks, usually emblazoned with an earnest, underlined plea to parents to keep away. Since 2002, David Nadelberg has tapped that vast wellspring of adolescent anguish in the stage show Mortified, in which grown men and women confront their past with firsthand tales of their first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Simon LeBon.

Following the same formula that has made the live show a beloved cult hit, Mortified the book takes real childhood journals and documents and edits the entries into captivating, comedic, and cathartic stories, introduced by their now older (and allegedly wiser) authors. From letters begging rescue from a hellish summer camp to catty locker notes about stuck-up classmates to obsessive love that borders on stalking, Mortified gives voice to the real -- and really pathetic -- hopes, fears, desires, and creative urgings that have united adolescents for generations.


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Mortified: Real Words. Real People. Real Pathetic. + Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield + Awkward Family Photos
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. If the only way to heal painful high school memories is to laugh at someone else's painful high school memories, this book can accurately be labeled the antidote. Based on Nadelberg's stage show of the same name, this is a raw, hilarious compendium of real childhood and high school journals, essays and letters, with rueful commentary from their now-adult writers-each of whom deserve applause for their bravery and generosity. Entries enumerate the dumb-founding horror of sexual awakening ("I like him. But I don't know if I like him. But I don't hate him. I don't wanna like him!"), the frustration of feeling different ("I hate Black History Month. It's the one month out of the year when white people feel comfortable to ask me all sorts of strange, inappropriate questions") and the bizarre dreams of adolescence (such as one contributor's Duran Duran fan fiction, which must be read to be believed). Unafraid to delve into sex and drugs, Nadelberg even includes some charming amateur erotica written by a clueless twelve-year-old. Illustrated with great awkward-phase photos, this treasure-chest of confusion and angst will make readers squirm and smile with the realization that, as Nadelberg puts it, "we were all that same strange kid."
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Mortified is the creation of David Nadelberg--a writer/producer/angstologist living in Los Angeles, the official town of public humiliation. Since 2002, he has sifted through hundreds of journals belonging to strangers and edited them into comedic pieces. He has written and produced numerous TV pilots for places UPN, VH1 and Comedy Central that were so amazing, they never even aired.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 416 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books; Original edition (November 28, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416928073
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416928072
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #105,772 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I was born. Then I got older.

Customer Reviews

I highly reccomend this book to anyone who ever kept a diary or journal. BookNerd  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
Everyone can relate to this book and I suggest everyone read it. Gia  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Is Funny Delicious! December 15, 2006
Format:Paperback
I personally kept a journal (fine, diary) all through grade school, junior high (the most horrid two-years of my life) and high school. I can't help but cringe when I read back on my childish angst, anger and insecurity. But when I read Mortified I realized I was not alone. Not alone in ending my entries with a "bye bye" as if the diary were an actual friend (like I had any)and not alone in obsessing shamelessly over boys who barely knew of my existance and never did become aware.

The selections made from the various journals are all genius, but I especially loved David Nadelberg's "Unsent Love Letter" which starts off with "Hello Leslie! How is your day today? Mine's quite well, I must admit." So dorky and so sweet and it actually gets intentionally funny for a high school sophmore. I'm just saying, it would've worked on me!

All the entries are good but my favorite part was being able to flip to the back of the book to the What The Hell Happened section and see, well, what the hell happened.

So, if you have any voyeuristic tendencies what-so-ever, or you just like a good My Sharona reference, pick up this book.

Bye bye.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Other People's Misery January 15, 2007
Format:Paperback
It's gratifying to read about other people's dreadful teenage years. Weren't my own bad enough? Apparantly not. And here's the proof. You might take comfort in these chapters, perhaps re-examine the way you treated your more "fragile" peers. It's important to note that this is not an 80s family movie sanitized version of what kids go through. This is the ugly, pimply, dorky, greasy version... and for that it is to be highly recommended.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE IT! Great idea and great book! January 15, 2007
Format:Paperback
I loved it so much I bought it for my sister for Christmas. I've even been to the show! I disagree with those that say it's not as interesting as the show is as I've experienced both. These are all the people we all went to school with! These people are us! It's fun to read it and equate it to my high school life and friends. Even though there's a name attached I still think "I knew that person in high school!" It's comforting to know that you're not the only one who went through all that "drama".

Oh! I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Decent book, but not what I expected.
When I read about this book, I thought it would be more funny than it actually was. The idea of peeking into someone's life and looking at their embarrassing moments or thoughts... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Jessica A. Marr
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny Stuff
Parts of this book were hilarious, and others not so much. I think the older you are the funnier you will find the stories, because you will remember writing similar things... Read more
Published 16 months ago by J. Rager
1.0 out of 5 stars Tasteless, Wasteful Text on pages
I'd been craving a good book to read and thought this would be interesting. I wasted my money big time. Read more
Published on March 26, 2011 by Taz
3.0 out of 5 stars A book you borrow from the library, not a keeper.
I read the book while I was having my brakes fixed. A few of the diary entries were interesting and I wanted to read more. Read more
Published on December 30, 2010 by Fivestarmichael
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
This is a great book. I thought it was interesting and I was able to relate to most, if not all of the entries in one way or another. Read more
Published on September 4, 2010 by benji
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny read
This book was great and didn't take long to read because you don't want to put it down until you are done reading and remember just how awkward childhood can be!
Published on July 28, 2010 by Lisa Braun
3.0 out of 5 stars Not as interesting as it sounds
This book's short vignettes of childhood embarrassment are pretty tame for the most part. There are a couple that will make you laugh out loud, but most will leave you saying... Read more
Published on July 23, 2010 by Ricochet252
4.0 out of 5 stars Sadly, very accurate...
This book brought so many embarrassing memories from my adolescence; in most cases, made any humilation I had seem minimal. Read more
Published on April 13, 2010 by f/r girl
1.0 out of 5 stars I guess you would have to be there
I think the only way these little letters would be funny is if I was the one that experienced it. Its like going through a 13 year old strangers diary about lame stuff. Read more
Published on January 31, 2010 by Kristie Porter
5.0 out of 5 stars Hi-lar-i-ous
This is a MUST read if only for "The Porn", which is quite possibly the most insanely funny thing I have ever read. I laughed and laughed until I cried and got a stomachache. Read more
Published on April 8, 2009 by Vanessa Blaylock
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