Mortuary Confidential: and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more

Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Start reading Mortuary Confidential: on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt [Paperback]

Todd Harra , Ken McKenzie
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (117 customer reviews)

List Price: $15.95
Price: $12.26 & FREE Shipping on orders over $35. Details
You Save: $3.69 (23%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Only 7 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Gift-wrap available.
Want it Monday, Feb. 2? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $9.99  
Paperback $12.26  
Audible Audio Edition, Unabridged $17.95 or Free with Audible 30-day free trial
Best Books of the Year
Best Books of 2014
Looking for something great to read? Browse our editors' picks for 2014's Best Books of the Year in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.

Book Description

May 1, 2010
When the casket reached the front of the sanctuary, there was a loud cracking sound as the bottom fell out. And with a thump, down came Father Iggy.

From shoot-outs at funerals to dead men screaming and runaway corpses, undertakers have plenty of unusual stories to tell--and a special way of telling them.

In this macabre and moving compilation, funeral directors across the country share their most embarrassing, jaw-dropping, irreverent, and deeply poignant stories about life at death's door. Discover what scares them and what moves them to tears. Learn about rookie mistakes and why death sometimes calls for duct tape.

Enjoy tales of the dearly departed spending eternity naked from the waist down and getting bottled and corked--in a wine bottle. And then meet their families--the weepers, the punchers, the stolidly dignified, and the ones who deliver their dead mother in a pickup truck.

If there's one thing undertakers know, it's that death drives people crazy. These are the best "bodies of work" from America's darkest profession.

"Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book." --Jonathan Maberry, multiple Bram Stoker Award-winning author of They Bite! and Rot & Ruin

"As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral."--Joe R. Lansdale

Special Offers and Product Promotions

Frequently Bought Together

Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt + Over Our Dead Bodies:: Undertakers Lift the Lid + Does This Mean You'll See Me Naked?: Field Notes from a Funeral Director
Price for all three: $37.01

Buy the selected items together

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Engaged in a business “that is all customer relations and rapport,” morticians deal with the vulnerable, emotionally unpredictable, and sometimes distraught, and if the dead can’t complain, their families sure can, as these gleanings from mortuary professionals across the nation attest. Whether a survivor insists on putting false teeth in after the deceased’s mouth has been “frozen” shut by embalming or demands a false eye be placed in its rightful socket, it’s all in a day’s work, along with staring down a hostile, 275-pound biker with “toilet seat-size hands.” The chapter “Wives and Girlfriends” demonstrates that “the lies and secrets we maintain in life cannot be perpetuated in death,” for bank accounts will be inspected, and titillating pictures found. The most common postmortem revelation is the illicit sexual relationship, with its potential for funerary fireworks when spouse and children sit on one side of the front row, the paramour on the other. McKenzie and Harra keep us reading because these true mortuary tales are poignant—and suddenly, gaspingly, in-your-face funny. --Whitney Scott

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Citadel (May 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0806531797
  • ISBN-13: 978-0806531793
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.7 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (117 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #82,038 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5 stars
Share your thoughts with other customers
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
32 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and moving May 20, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is well worth reading. Not only does it give you a glimpse into the macabre and poignant world of morticians, it has moments that are so absurdly funny that I found myself laughing out loud! But it's not only funny; this book is touching too, as it makes you think.

This is a very easy read; if you are looking for something entertaining and light, yet bizarre and unusual, this book is a great choice.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Learning about life from death June 4, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The book is not an expose about practices in the funeral industry. It is instead a collection of remarkable experiences contributed by many funeral directors. It is a book about how to live and enjoy every moment of it. I recommend it highly.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars TOTALLY WORTH THE READ! December 24, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I loved this book. Not only was it fun to read, but the stories were short and easy to digest on their own (without having to read the book cover to cover). Harra and McKenzie manage to give us a humorously unexpected looking into the mortuary profession. The authors themselves have added stories of their own in this tantalizing read. I am surprised at some of the negative reviews I've read on this site for the book- I do not work in the profession, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The small amount of background is perfect to give you a flash of the story tellers bearings and enhances the story quality. GREAT BOOK, GREAT READ!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Tales from the funeral home October 25, 2011
The short stories in Mortuary Confidential were definitely interesting. Some of the stories were humorous and some touching. I'd thought the book was supposed to be hilarious and I wouldn't quite classify it as such, but it was worth reading.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it. May 27, 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
It is nice to know the people who care for us and our loved one at the parting journey of our lives are so nice and dedicated. I loved the book and got a few chuckles out of it. My niece is studying to become a mortician so I am going to send this book on to her and I bet she will love it also. I am not afraid of dying, just of looking bad in the process.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
If you are expecting a goofy, irreverant book based on its title, you will be disappointed. However, it is a funny and poignant look inside the funeral industry. If you are a guidence counselor you might want to have a copy of this book available for those who are thinking to enter 'the dismal trade.' If you are a rising Junior or Senior, and enjoy lobbing grenades at your English or Public Speaking teacher. Read the book and do a report, or work up a chapter to read out loud.

I also recommend "The Dismal Trade."
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Just Alright May 25, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Some of the stories were very touching, and others absurd. The last story about ghosts I DO NOT BELIEVE FOR ONE MOMENT. I have known 3 morticians with a combined experience of over 100 years and NONE of them have ever encountered a ghost or anything close to it---have never seen a body move---or anything out of the ordinary!!!!!

I wished some of the stories were from an older time. I thought there was too much modernity, talk of girlfriends, not wives, and lots of liquor.

The funeral industry sure is changing and this book is representative of that fact. Perhaps read 'Tom Fisher Funeral Director, Chapters in a Life' by Grace Fisher. [...]
, and get a real taste of the funeral business. Or "Nine Years Under" by Sheri Booker which is factual & excellent.
Was this review helpful to you?
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's a good book! May 18, 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a wonderful book. It tells you what goesnpn behind the scene at a funeral and what littlee problems can arise
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Search Customer Reviews
Search these reviews only

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.


There are no discussions about this product yet.
Be the first to discuss this product with the community.
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Look for Similar Items by Category