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Most Important Year in a Woman's Life, The/The Most Important Year in a Man's Life Hardcover – Anamorphic, April 27, 2003


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Most Important Year in a Woman's Life, The/The Most Important Year in a Man's Life + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts + Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan (April 27, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310240069
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310240068
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,113 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The Wolgemuths (he's an author and owner of a literary agency; she's an author) and the DeVries (he's a pastor and author; she assists him in premarital counseling and marriage retreats) offer here a two-in-one, flip-over-format volume aimed at newlywed Christian couples. Recognizing the success of their own marriages, the authors decided to share their experiences and advice with couples in that make-or-break first year of marriage. Both "books" have the same layout and cover topics such as money, sex and in-laws, but they cater, thematically and tonally, to the gender of their audience. The man's chapter on sex, for instance, playfully employs a baseball metaphor throughout: the male authors fondly recall boyhood discussions of "getting to first base," and offer suggestions for how husbands can please and love their wives without immediately going for the "home run." The woman's sex chapter, on the other hand, skips the metaphors, and instead gently explains that communication is key in the first year, and that the wife needs to teach her husband how to satisfy her. The authors consider "normals"-things one spouse grew up thinking was natural but might seem strange to the other (such as the belief that no house is complete without "a really big dog," the conviction that husbands should make more money than their wives, or the assumption that being late is fine). Addressing these "normals" help spouses understand why their partners behave the way they do, which in turn can ease conflicts. Boldly, the authors address the sometimes controversial Biblical principle of submission: "No relationship, in fact, can succeed without submission," they claim. It needs to happen voluntarily (neither spouse can force their partner to submit), and when both people actively and humbly work to yield to each other, "the marriage always wins." And the secret ingredient to successful marriages? Friendship: "it is only in the fields of friendship that the long-term passion and intimacy you long for can grow and flourish." Each book is neatly wrapped up with a "Meet in the Middle" section, which offers questions and exercises the husband and wife can work through together to continue to build upon the lessons they've just learned.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Back Cover

Your marriage could be one of history’s great love stories! As newlyweds, it’s time to ensure that your marriage can meet the challenges it will face right around the corner. Cultivating good habits during these first twelve foundational months of your marriage and knowing what to focus on will set the stage for years to come.

Robert and Bobbie and Mark and Susan know that there’s a big difference between preparation and actual experience. This is your guide to actually dealing with all the things that come after "I do." In this unique flip-over format, the chapter topics are the same but one half is written by men for the husband, and the other half is written from a women’s perspective for the wife. As a couple, you’ll each progress through your part of the book and meet somewhere in the middle.

Become an expert on what really makes your spouse happy, and enjoy the benefits of a great partnership. Take an honest look at the family you grew up in: its unwritten codes, how it has shaped you, and the ways it affects your relationship with your mate. Learn how to speak each other’s "language" and appreciate the qualities each of you brings to your marriage.

You’ll also get an eye-opening look at communication skills, secrets for a great sex life, budget basics, dealing with in-laws, navigating tough times, and much more. Above all, you’ll cultivate a spiritual unity that draws the two of you closer to each other as you draw closer to God.

Start reading, and make this first year together what it was meant to be: the most important year in your life.


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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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I have been married for a year and a half and just read the book.
Corey Morgan
I read several books before getting married and found this one to be the best by far.
Ronden
Its been excellent in helping us think through things that will affect our marriage.
R. Anconetani

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 24, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Both my husband and I of 4 months are reading "The Most Important Year in a Woman's/Man's Life", and we are thoroughly impressed with it so far!
My husband really liked how his "side"of the book started out with topics of sports, and money...he says that immediately grabbed his attention.
Now my "side", Susan Devries and Bobble Wolgemuth writing style really appealed to the emotional aspect of marriage...the expectations prior to marraige, and the reality of life after marraige. I appreciate their ability to effectively communicate women's emotion in writing, which is not easy to do! I believe the lady authors do a superb job at capturing the emotions and lending that support for the female during the 1st year of marraige.
The book also speaks on topics such as sex from both the male and female perspective...So the female authors explain what sex is like for the men-and the importance of making love with your husband, and the male authors explain sex to the men using a baseball analogy (first base, second base, third base, and home) to ensure they comprehend how to make love to your wife.
There is also the middle section, "Meet in the middle" with activities/review material for the husband and wife to complete together once they have each read their portion.
This is a very creative book! 2-in-1! I have never seen that!
I will definately recommend this book to other newlyweds in my church!
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Corey Morgan on March 3, 2004
Format: Hardcover
I have been married for a year and a half and just read the book. You can read it before you get married or thirty years down the road. It tells you simple rules and ideas you can actually practice. I know its a Christian book and that is one reason why I was given it, but you can read it being any faith, just as long as you want a better marriage and relationship. And its so fun being in one book to "meet in the middle." I am about to read his side of the book now!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By PhilThreeten on March 23, 2006
Format: Hardcover
Susan and Mark DeVries and Bobbie and Robert Wolgemuth have put together not only a helpful first year companion for newly marrieds, they've done it with creativity.

This one book is really two books in one. From one side, women can read about what to expect, how to handle, and generally what constitutes a good first year in a Christian marriage. From the opposite side of the book, men develop the same type of material. Then, in the middle, are questions and ideas to bring the two sides together. They tackle topics from a balanced, Christian perspective and give tremendous insight into both sides of the marriage relationship.

The only issue I had with the book was that from the woman's perspective (yeah, I peaked in on that side :) there is great emphasis placed on the woman's ability to change the man. Though typical of our culture today, I think this is the only (though not necessarily insignificant) unbalanced part of the book. I would have liked to have heard on both sides of the book how both the husband and wife provide complimentary change into each other's lives. This then focuses on mutual change, dreams, and submission.

Even with that problem, I think I could recommend this book to newly married couples as a good guideline on how to build a strong foundation for a life-long commitment to an imperfect person.

For a full review, go to the blog in my screen name and click on the Readings category.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By R. Anconetani on February 16, 2006
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
My fiance and I each bought a book to read for our pre-martial counseling. Even though we haven't even started meeting with the counselor, we have had many deep discussions brought on by this book. Its been excellent in helping us think through things that will affect our marriage.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By SHW on April 27, 2005
Format: Hardcover
I am usually pretty sceptical of self-help books, or books that are recommended by conservative religious groups although I am a Christian. However, this book was given to my husband and me when we were engaged and we both loved it. Although it is geered towards couples who are newlyweds, we found the book great for getting us talking about key issues that we had never considered before, and working out problems before we were confronted with them in the marriage. We learned a lot about each other from this book, and even found it more helpful than our professional pre-marital counseling. We have since given this book to all of our young friends getting married.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jennifer Hasseld on November 8, 2005
Format: Hardcover
We read this before we got married and found that there were several "aha" moments and things we hadn't thought of. It's a great eye opener and I HIGHLY suggest reading it and talking through your marriage or pre-marriage!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Engineer in the Family on May 30, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
We thought we were invincible and put off reading this wedding gift until 5 months into our marriage. As I'm sure you can guess, we were having all sorts of frustrating discussions on everything from the dishes to the direction of the toilet paper.

When I would approach my husband with a problem, he was constantly trying to "fix me." This book really helped us bridge a communication gap. My husband took to the sports analogies, and I found myself with a new appreciation for my husband's point of view. This really got us past that first hump. It's a must read, and I'm sure we'll do it again somewhere down the road.
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