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Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress
 
 
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Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress [Hardcover]

Ilene Beckerman (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)


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Book Description

April 7, 2000
The relationship between a mother and daughter is often fraught-but never so much as during the preparations for a daughter's wedding. Who better to offer a fresh perspective on weddings than the mother of the bride? And who better to describe it -- the agony and the ecstasy -- than Ilene "Gingy" Beckerman, who's married off three daughters and remembers it all very clearly.

--The high cost of wedding cakes: "I could have had a lifetime supply of Entenmann's chocolate doughnuts!"

--Bridesmaid dresses: "What do five girls-one short, one tall, one buxom, one flat, one who gave birth a month ago-have in common? A bridesmaid's dress they hate."

--Mother-of-the-bride dresses: "I tried on green velvet. A Rodney Dangerfield line came to me: 'If that dress had pockets, you'd look like a pool table.' The dress had pockets."

--And, finally, the sight of her daughter walking down the aisle: "My daughter was Cinderella, Snow White, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Jacqueline Kennedy. But better."

Gingy looks at the bride-to-be and sees the teenager who wanted Bo Derek braids, the little girl she taught to dance to the tune of "Me and My Shadow," the beautiful baby, the miracle she gave birth to decades earlier. And now, en route to the aisle, their relationship is tested in ways Gingy never imagined.

Beckerman simply and brilliantly describes the highs and lows of life with an adult daughter. What emerges is a poignant and telling story.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

With light, humorous prose and attractive drawings, Beckerman deftly recounts her journey down the winding path between watching a film clip of the royal wedding of Elizabeth II in 1947 and becoming the mother of a modern American bride in the 1990s. Her daughter's announcement of her engagement, accompanied by "a ring you wouldn't be afraid to wear on a subway," initiated 12 months of decisions and crises involving flowers, cakes, champagne, hors d'oeuvres, dresses, music and an all-knowing, ever-present, unflappable and impeccably dressed wedding consultant named Deirdre. With an enticing mix of wry sophistication and loving na?vet?, Beckerman succinctly expresses motherhood's enduring push-and-pull: "All the parenting books say, 'Don't rush in with advice,' but who else is going to tell a daughter she needs a slip under that dress?" Her well-selected memories illustrate the joys and headaches of mothering a daughter--the aspirations, worries and wishes that buoyed and buffeted her from the time of her pregnancy through her daughter's adolescence and early adulthood, culminating in a year of wedding preparations. As Beckerman tells it, "childbirth was easier than being the mother of the bride." Beckerman (What We Do for Love; Love, Loss, and What I Wore), who started her writing career at the age of 60, breathes fresh vitality into this familiar rite of passage, in an account that is sweetly sentimental and brutally honest, touching and witty--in short, a true gem. 50,000 first printing; Book-of-the-Month Club selection; 25-city tour. (Apr.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"An enticing mix of wry sophistication and loving naivete...a true gem." -- Publisher's Weekly

"As much about the bond between mothers and daughter as a quest for the ideal wedding gown." -- New York Times

As much as every mother wants her daughters to get married,says Ilene Beckerman, no mother is prepared to be a Mother Of The Bride. Beckerman's daughter wanted a grand, traditional fete, no skimping. Every detail--from the type of stamps used on the invitations to the shade of the flowers--was crucial. The details were too much for even a supermom like Beckerman to handle, so she hired a wedding consultant. Still, Mom--not the consultant--had to accompany the bride as she shopped for a wedding gown. Beckerman was unprepared: "I thought peau de soie was something Julia Child made.... That Alencon lace was a cheese people with bad cholesterol could eat. My daughter tried on a dress made from 50 yards of Thai silk. I couldn't find her." But this is no mere humor book. Amid the drolleries are the poignant reflections of a mother who is not just gaining a son-in-law. She is also, in a way, losing a daughter. (Beliefnet, June 2000) -- From Beliefnet

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 159 pages
  • Publisher: Algonquin Books; 1st ed/1st printing edition (April 7, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1565122593
  • ISBN-13: 978-1565122598
  • Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.8 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #643,563 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

14 Reviews
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 (11)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (14 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute "must-read" for any Mother of the Bride, September 24, 2000
By 
Soozie4Him (Chicago suburbs) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
This review is from: Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress (Hardcover)
As the mother of a recently engaged daughter (my first, so this is very new to me!), I'm heading for the bookstores and the libraries to read up on how to plan a wedding. In the midst of books about what the maid of honor's duties are, lists of lists, pages of worksheets, and tomes about every single thing that a successful wedding...

There stands a small pink book that has a cover illustration which communicates as succinctly as the subtitle "The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress." This book is 156 pages long, but can be read in an hour or so (including time to linger over illustrations and time to laugh some hearty laughs and shed a few tears).

Ilene Beckerman is not only the author of this book, but its illustrator as well. And that's part of the beauty of this book; the drawings are so perfectly entwined in the text.

It's a rare and very special author who can have you laughing one second and crying the next - especially when the author doesn't use a lot of words! Ilene succeeds beautifully in this wonderful combination.

From the book: "What do five girls - one short, one tall, one buxom, one flat, one who gave birth a month ago - have in common? A bridesmaid's dress they all hate."

Throughout the book, Ilene zigs and zags from telling about planning her daughter's wedding to writing about her daughter as a little girl and their very special relationship during her grown-up years. In a world where way too many people can't wait for their children to grow up and leave home, this type of writing is both poignant and refreshing.

Here's a letter that the author wrote to her daughter as the wedding grew nearer "I never knew before I had you that I could love anyone so much. You won't understand the feeling until you hold your own baby in your arms. I'm afraid you won't need me now that youo're married. I helped you get over your separation anxiety in nursery school. Now I need you to help me to get over mine." Then she says that she never sent that letter.

I really appreciated the review of this book that was written by a husband and father who called himself "A reader from NJ". He says that this book isn't just for women and I wholeheartedly agree. My husband laughs and cries simultaneously when watching his favorite movie "Father of the Bride." I think I'm going to go show him this book right now.

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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Gift, October 11, 2000
This review is from: Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress (Hardcover)
When my daughter became engaged, I got three copies of this book as gifts. I loved it so much that I have given away the two extra copies that I received to friends who will soon be MOBs!

The book is so real, so funny, so poignant. It succinctly summed up the relationship between mothers and daughters as it detailed the intricate and involved planning process for today's weddings. I loved the way Beckerman gave us glimpses of her daughter's growing-up years.

I felt every feeling the author was feeling --- I laughed, I cried, and I called my daughter to read portions to her.

And today....I found the perfect dress!!!

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A mother, a daughter, a wedding -- the story, April 6, 2000
By 
Norma Jaffe (Norfolk, Virginia) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress (Hardcover)
Having married off my three daughters in the past decade made reading and reviewing this latest witty masterpiece from Ilene Beckerman a delight ! Never having met Ilene Beckerman, I was convinced after reading her first book entitled Love, Loss, and What I wore, that we were soulmates. My God, I grew up in NYC and went to PS 80 !This cemented my feelings after she announced that the "bride" now has two daughters of her own - just like my "bride". Her clever style of writing combined with her joyful life experiences add up to a roller coaster fun-filled ride through life's ups and downs. Buy it, you'll love it and then you will rush right out to buy her previous two books which are equally tickling. What will come next might be a hilarious "Grandmother" book -
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First Sentence:
All mothers want their daughters to get married. Read the first page
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