The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life (Paperback)

by Harriet Lerner (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
How does motherhood change you? Who or what do you become when you become a mother? "We can't begin to know what our children will evoke in us until we have them," says psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of the bestselling The Dance of Anger. Lerner set out to write a book on parenting, and ended up with a thoughtful and honest book focusing on the experience of being a mother--a woman's experiences, needs, and changes as she travels through the trials and pleasures of pregnancy, birth, power struggles, guilt, anxiety, relationship challenges, sibling struggles, and separation. Filled with personal stories and case studies, The Mother Dance offers mothers-to-be a guide for the road ahead, and women who are already mothers will recognize their own dilemmas and situations, and gain clarity about their experiences. Throughout, Lerner is wise, personal, and truthful about her own failings. This book is a welcome addition to the recent discourse on the mothering experience. --Ericka Lutz --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Lerner reads her own work on motherhood with mixed success. She may characterize motherhood as a dance, but what she describes is more of a rollercoaster ride. She shows parenting as a challenging, confusing, and, at times, exhilarating emotional mix of worry, guilt, and joy. As might be expected, she begins with the experience of pregnancy and ends with the empty-nest syndrome. Throughout, she illustrates her points with stories from bringing up her own two boys. She borrows from friends and others to show the unique relationships between mothers and daughters. Hers is not so much a guide for mothers-to-be as it is splendid reassurance for women in the thick of it. The only weakness is Lerner's measured reading pace. It is too slow and seems stilted?a marked contrast to the lively subject matter.?Jeanne Leader, Everett Community Coll. Lib., WA
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 7, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 006093025X
• ISBN-13: 978-0060930257
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #281,124 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in this category: (What's this?)

  #10 in

  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Authors, A-Z > Lerner, Harriet

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A worthwhile read for moms at every stage of the game., January 30, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life (Hardcover)

I loved Harriet Lerner's other "dance" books. At first I thought this one was going to be more of a guide for the mom-to-be. However, as I kept reading I realized Lerner was taking us through the stages from birth to the young adult's departure from home. Giving us examples from her own life as a mother of two sons, her friends' and clients' lives Lerner marvelously illustrates the various difficulties many women/families can experience. Lerner admits she was not a perfect mother. That admission makes it possible for us, the readers to evaluate our own weaknesses without the customary guilt that usually accompanies such assessments. Topics discussed include power struggles, talking with difficult kids, and sibling relationships. She even mentions the unmentionable-mothers hating their children. I have already recommended this book to a friend for the the last section which deals with the departure of the youngest child from home.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and practical advice!, July 8, 1999

By A Customer

As a new mother I have read everything I can get my hands on! This book though is for ME, not advice on how to quiet a crying baby or what to feed a picky 12 month old. It is about the feelings, thoughts and worries that a mother obsesses over each day. I cried, laughed and learned through the entire book and then receommended it to two friends. If you are looking for a book to read that talks about how becoming a mom has truly made you a completely different person this is it!

34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I've been laughing outloud!, November 16, 1999

By	[e-mail] (Miami, Fl) - See all my reviews

As a working, mother in the mental health field I was so please to read that Harriet has gone through the same termoils I have. It seems so trivial when I hear her recounts. What a guilt trip we put on ourselves. While reading you feel like she could be sitting in your kitchen talking over a cup of diet soda. I have recommended this book to so many new mothers and older mothers that seem so concerned about doing the "right" thing. Dr. Lerner reminds us there isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to parent.

Lena Sheffield, M.S.Ed., CAP