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Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter Paperback – February 16, 2010

61 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for
Mother-Daughter Duet

“The special bond between mothers and daughters doesn’t have to vanish as our daughters leave the nest. Written with honesty, insight, and love, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum take turns giving inspiring advice and practical tips on how mothers and daughters can forge an alliance that offers meaningful gifts to each other. This sweet book will be a wonderful bridge between mothers and their adult daughters.”
—SHARON HERSH, author of The Last Addiction and Bravehearts

“Got conflict? Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum have a book that will help you understand the challenges and transitions of the mother-daughter relationship. With meticulous research, personal vulnerability, and ‘right-on’ wisdom, they reveal tools that bring resolution, understanding, and transformation to complicated relationships. Don’t be surprised if you
recognize a version of your own story in this not-to-be-missed book. You’ll find answers that produce positive results.”
—CAROL KENT, speaker and author of When I Lay My Isaac Down

“Mother-Daughter Duet is a wonderful book, a story told from the heart, full of ideas on how to connect in loving, healthy ways with our daughters and even our daughters-in-law.”
—JENNIFER ROTHSCHILD, speaker and author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark

“We shared Mother-Daughter Duet around our office, and we all gained help and hope for relationships with daughters, daughters-in-law, and our own mothers! Thanks for a very honest practical read.”
—PAM FARREL, relationship specialist, international speaker, and author of more than thirty books

“Disarmingly honest and inspiring, this amazing book will become your trusted guide through the mysterious waters in your own motherdaughter relationship. If you’ve ever been tempted to drive four hundred miles to take your sad daughter to lunch, or felt the need to escape your mom’s presence abruptly, or hide dark emotions from an overly concerned mom, you’ll love the honest insights in the section, ‘A Daughter’s Perspective.’ This book will bring hope for now and help for the uncharted relational territory to come.”
—LESLIE PARROTT, founder of Realrelationships.com and author of You Matter More Than You Think

“Mother-Daughter Duet is a helpful and wise resource for those struggling with mother-daughter relationship issues. I gleaned some great tips that will help me be a better friend to my adult daughter.”
—LESLIE VERNICK, licensed counselor, speaker, and author of Lord, I Just Want to be Happy and The Emotionally
Destructive Relationship

About the Author

CHERI FULLER is a best-selling, award-winning author whose books have sold more than one million copies. She speaks to a wide range of women at women's conferences and is a frequent guest on national radio and television programs.

ALI PLUM is Cheri's daughter, a writer and songwriter, a wife, and a mother to Noah and Luke. She and her mom have weathered the ups and downs of their relationship to find one of the most treasured, honest relationships of their lives. Ali has recorded background vocals for popular musicians, and Mother-Daughter Duet is her debut into book publishing.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah Books (February 16, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1601421621
  • ISBN-13: 978-1601421623
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (61 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #196,055 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Cheri Fuller is an inspirational speaker and an award-winning author of 40 books, including the best-selling "When Mothers Pray," "When Children Pray," "Opening Your Child's Spiritual Windows," and "Opening Your Child's Nine Learning Windows." Her ministry, Families Pray USA, motivates and equips moms, dads, children, teens, and churches to impact their world through prayer. A former teacher, Cheri holds a master's degree in English literature. Cheri, who led a Moms In Touch group for 12 years, is married with three grown children and six grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By L. T. Buchert on March 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
Mother-Daughter Duet by Cheri Fuller and her grown daughter, Ali Plum is a refreshing book written by mother and daughter with both perspectives given. I was immediately captivated by the writing style and the subject matter. This book is about being a mom, or a daughter and you will be able to relate on both levels through-out the book. The part of the book that I gleaned most from was the section on "Letting Go" which I am having a very difficult time doing right now! Of course its hard to let go when they haven't left yet! I have two adult daughters living at home still and it is extremely difficult not to mother them. In the book you will read how you need to let them make mistakes and take those small steps back as they grow and mature and then hopefully by the time they are ready to fly from the nest you will be ready also!

There is so much that you can relate to and learn in this book that you will easily finish it within a few reading sessions. Many examples from mothers and daughters in almost every different situation; from single mothers with rebellious daughters to the most traditional mother daughter roles. You will read about yourselves in this book!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By keptfree on March 2, 2010
Format: Paperback
I would recommend this book for mothers with daughters or sons. The basic principles can actually be applied to any relationship. Principles of kindness, listening, valuing one another, communication, respect, understanding, empathy and especially, stepping back and letting the Holy Spirit do His work in our loved ones.

The book was easy to read. I think there are some great insights. But there were some things that made me feel quite uncomfortable too.

I felt Cheri, the mother seemed to be in a continual mode of asking for forgiveness and adjusting how she lived because of her daughter. It seemed the largest portion of the book was on how she was infringing on her daughters rights or wishes and offending her by her thoughtlessness. Whereas, I felt that Ali, the daughter spent a large portion of her writing in the book justifying why mother's should take a hands off attitude to their daughters and allow them to do whatever they want to because this is a different time and they see the world differently than their mothers did. There didn't seem to be much written about the daughter asking forgiveness of her mother for things she has done wrong to offend her mother.

I felt this was more of an I'm o.k. you're o.k. type of book. I think they could have spent more time dealing with the fact that we have the right as fellow believers to challenge one another, to be as iron sharpening iron.

Even with all that being said, I think it is a book worth reading. Here is one gem I gleaned from their writing that is true for all of us in our relationships:

"We want to resolve all our daughters' problems, but we can't. Acceptance is something we can teach by our actions and by being willing to sit with them in the pain.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Christy Johnson on March 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
I wish I had the wisdom years ago that authors Cheri Fuller (Mom) and Ali Plum (daughter) highlight in their book, Mother Daughter Duet. Even though this book is written for mothers and adult daughters, I think it would be very insightful for mothers with younger daughters as well. Instead of learning how to rebuild areas of my relationship with my own daughter, it would have been easier if I knew and applied these principles when she was young. I'm encouraged to know that thankfully I can apply the principles in this book to my relationship now.

I'm always glad when I read a book by a Christian author who shares wisdom learned through enduring the issues of life rather than from an academic platform. The authors, a real mother and daughter team have been there. They aren't writing about how perfect they were. They write about common struggles women face today in their own mother/daughter relationships and how to do life together. Tougher issues like how to deal when your daughter chooses a different lifestyle than you would have chosen for her as well as common everyday stuff issues like how to deal with what they wear and whether or not they need to lose weight. Cheri addresses how the comments we make affect their self-esteem. Cheri writes, "The more we as mothers are dissatisfied with the internal and external women we are, the more we tend to criticize our daughter. Are we seeing our daughters as a reflection of ourselves? And are we projecting our own self-image on them?"

They aren't writing from a "we-did-everything-perfect" attitude. Rather, they spill the beans in the very first chapter. Their transparency breaks the "perfect-Christian-family" mold by disclosing how alcoholism threatened their family. It made me want to listen right off the bat.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Shannon S on March 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
On my desk and around my office are little gifts that my mother has given me over the years - a "Dare to Dream" poem, a couple of her photos of fog among the Redwood trees, and the latest addition, a collectible Mother & Daughter porcelain plaque with a quote on it.

Every day when I look up I see a bit of my mom through these items, and feel her love and support. Yet I talk with her only maybe four to six times a year. We both live busy lives and are both working and raising families.

But when I think of my mom, I smile. And that's how I would love for my daughters to think of me when they are grown. But how does this come about?

Mother-Daughter Duet by mother-daughter team, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum, promises to show you (and I) the path.

Combining stories from their own relationship struggles and successes, their journey of letting go of the mother-daughter dynamic and become friends, with the stories from many other mothers and daughters they interviewed while researching this book, Fuller and Plum provide practical insights into how we can develop healthy relationships with our daughters and with our own mothers.

At 201 pages, the book is broken into thirteen chapters, plus an introduction and epilogue. You'll be taken on a journey of engaging with your daughter through early adulthood through marriage, motherhoods, and beyond.

Each chapter is themed for specific hotpoint or issue, like validation, communication, making wedding plans, when your daughter becomes a wife and then a parent, and, of course, forgiveness.

Both a mother's point of view and a daughter's point of view are given for each topic, with a coming together for what is called "two part harmony".
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