Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter [Paperback]

Cheri Fuller (Author), Ali Plum (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 16, 2010

A harmonious relationship is possible
 
When your daughter was born, you had a thousand hopes and dreams for her. . .including that one day you'd be best friends.

But as life unfolds, even the best intentions go awry. There are so many challenges on the journey to adult friendship that the reality is fraught with friction and frustration. Thankfully, a harmonious relationship with your daughter is possible.
           
Written by a mother and daughter who have successfully navigated the minefield from distance and tension to acceptance and friendship, Mother-Daughter Duet helps moms open wide the door of communication so that daughters want to walk through it. Filled with personal anecdotes and based on proven principles, each chapter offers timeless wisdom as well as a daughter’s perspective. Often these principles apply to daughters-in-law as well.
           
The relationship between mothers and daughters is intense, personal, complex, and unique. But you can have the loving, authentic bond you always dreamed of—when you learn the mother-daughter duet.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for
Mother-Daughter Duet

“The special bond between mothers and daughters doesn’t have to vanish as our daughters leave the nest. Written with honesty, insight, and love, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum take turns giving inspiring advice and practical tips on how mothers and daughters can forge an alliance that offers meaningful gifts to each other. This sweet book will be a wonderful bridge between mothers and their adult daughters.”
—SHARON HERSH, author of The Last Addiction and Bravehearts

“Got conflict? Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum have a book that will help you understand the challenges and transitions of the mother-daughter relationship. With meticulous research, personal vulnerability, and ‘right-on’ wisdom, they reveal tools that bring resolution, understanding, and transformation to complicated relationships. Don’t be surprised if you
recognize a version of your own story in this not-to-be-missed book. You’ll find answers that produce positive results.”
—CAROL KENT, speaker and author of When I Lay My Isaac Down

“Mother-Daughter Duet is a wonderful book, a story told from the heart, full of ideas on how to connect in loving, healthy ways with our daughters and even our daughters-in-law.”
—JENNIFER ROTHSCHILD, speaker and author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark

“We shared Mother-Daughter Duet around our office, and we all gained help and hope for relationships with daughters, daughters-in-law, and our own mothers! Thanks for a very honest practical read.”
—PAM FARREL, relationship specialist, international speaker, and author of more than thirty books

“Disarmingly honest and inspiring, this amazing book will become your trusted guide through the mysterious waters in your own motherdaughter relationship. If you’ve ever been tempted to drive four hundred miles to take your sad daughter to lunch, or felt the need to escape your mom’s presence abruptly, or hide dark emotions from an overly concerned mom, you’ll love the honest insights in the section, ‘A Daughter’s Perspective.’ This book will bring hope for now and help for the uncharted relational territory to come.”
—LESLIE PARROTT, founder of Realrelationships.com and author of You Matter More Than You Think

“Mother-Daughter Duet is a helpful and wise resource for those struggling with mother-daughter relationship issues. I gleaned some great tips that will help me be a better friend to my adult daughter.”
—LESLIE VERNICK, licensed counselor, speaker, and author of Lord, I Just Want to be Happy and The Emotionally
Destructive Relationship

About the Author

CHERI FULLER is a best-selling, award-winning author whose books have sold more than one million copies. She speaks to a wide range of women at women's conferences and is a frequent guest on national radio and television programs.

ALI PLUM is Cheri's daughter, a writer and songwriter, a wife, and a mother to Noah and Luke. She and her mom have weathered the ups and downs of their relationship to find one of the most treasured, honest relationships of their lives. Ali has recorded background vocals for popular musicians, and Mother-Daughter Duet is her debut into book publishing.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books (February 16, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1601421621
• ISBN-13: 978-1601421623
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #492,136 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Cheri Fuller is an inspirational speaker and an award-winning author of 40 books, including the best-selling "When Mothers Pray," "When Children Pray," "Opening Your Child's Spiritual Windows," and "Opening Your Child's Nine Learning Windows." Her ministry, Families Pray USA, motivates and equips moms, dads, children, teens, and churches to impact their world through prayer. A former teacher, Cheri holds a master's degree in English literature. Cheri, who led a Moms In Touch group for 12 years, is married with three grown children and six grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mother's & Daughters Connecting, March 5, 2010

By 

L. T. Buchert "Lucie's Reviews" (Fortuna, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter (Paperback)

Mother-Daughter Duet by Cheri Fuller and her grown daughter, Ali Plum is a refreshing book written by mother and daughter with both perspectives given. I was immediately captivated by the writing style and the subject matter. This book is about being a mom, or a daughter and you will be able to relate on both levels through-out the book. The part of the book that I gleaned most from was the section on "Letting Go" which I am having a very difficult time doing right now! Of course its hard to let go when they haven't left yet! I have two adult daughters living at home still and it is extremely difficult not to mother them. In the book you will read how you need to let them make mistakes and take those small steps back as they grow and mature and then hopefully by the time they are ready to fly from the nest you will be ready also!

There is so much that you can relate to and learn in this book that you will easily finish it within a few reading sessions. Many examples from mothers and daughters in almost every different situation; from single mothers with rebellious daughters to the most traditional mother daughter roles. You will read about yourselves in this book!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Practical Insights for Both Mothers and Daughters, March 5, 2010

By 

Shannon Stoltz - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter (Paperback)

On my desk and around my office are little gifts that my mother has given me over the years - a "Dare to Dream" poem, a couple of her photos of fog among the Redwood trees, and the latest addition, a collectible Mother & Daughter porcelain plaque with a quote on it.

Every day when I look up I see a bit of my mom through these items, and feel her love and support. Yet I talk with her only maybe four to six times a year. We both live busy lives and are both working and raising families.

But when I think of my mom, I smile. And that's how I would love for my daughters to think of me when they are grown. But how does this come about?

Mother-Daughter Duet by mother-daughter team, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum, promises to show you (and I) the path.

Combining stories from their own relationship struggles and successes, their journey of letting go of the mother-daughter dynamic and become friends, with the stories from many other mothers and daughters they interviewed while researching this book, Fuller and Plum provide practical insights into how we can develop healthy relationships with our daughters and with our own mothers.

At 201 pages, the book is broken into thirteen chapters, plus an introduction and epilogue. You'll be taken on a journey of engaging with your daughter through early adulthood through marriage, motherhoods, and beyond.

Each chapter is themed for specific hotpoint or issue, like validation, communication, making wedding plans, when your daughter becomes a wife and then a parent, and, of course, forgiveness.

Both a mother's point of view and a daughter's point of view are given for each topic, with a coming together for what is called "two part harmony". Discussion questions for each chapter are provided at the end of the book.

One of the things I really like about this book is that Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum do not pretend that they are perfect or have the perfect mother-daughter relationship. They've struggled, just like many others and have through trial and error, communication, and counselling have found a better harmony. They are transparent in that in writing the book, they ran into issues within their relationship and found ways to work through them. This, I believe, adds the the credibility and integrity of the insights they share.

As I watch my own daughter grow into a teen, and know that around the corner she will be off on her own, I am heartened to learn that moms who learn to cherish their daughter's growth and independence have an easier time making the transition. While my daughters are not yet adults, I found many of the tips and insights from Mother-Daughter Duet worth storing in the back of mind, preparing for the day my daughters' set sail.

Mother-Daughter Duet also has me thinking about my relationship with my mother, things I could have done better as a daughter, and things that she did so well, that I should emulate with my own daughters.

If you have a struggling relationship with your mom and would like to set it on a healthier path, you will find Mother-Daughter Duet thought provoking. And if you have daughters who are nearing adulthood or are adults, this is definitely worth reading and culling insights from.

Disclosure: This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Could be helpful, March 5, 2010

By 

Stephanie's Mommy Brain (Rhode Island, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Mother-Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter (Paperback)

Mother- Daughter Duet: Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter is written by mom Cheri and daughter Ali. This mother-daughter team share the ups and downs of their relationship and freely admit their relationship takes effort to be healthy and close.

I do not have an adult daughter so clearly I am not the target audience for this book. However, I am an adult daughter and I will one day have an adult daughter (and possibly 3 daughters-in-law!) so I thought I might learn something from Cheri and Ali for the future.

After reading the book, and thinking it over for a few days, I have mixed feelings. I can see how Mother - Daughter Duet could be very helpful if you have a strained relationship with your daughter. Cheri and Ali do a great job of revealing areas a mom can work on the relationship from her end; while also reminding the reader not to expect miracles overnight.

One of the things I'm hung up on is that a lot of the descriptions and quotes from daughters struck me as, well... kind of bratty. "Not being stuck as a stay-at-home mom with a bunch of kids to care for like their moms" (my words not theirs) seemed to be a common theme. Frankly, that offends me a little (as a stay-at-home mom of 4).

It seems to be that the overall principle of the book is that Moms should never offer unsolicited advice, opinions or be judgmental when a daughter's choices are contrary to the mom's beliefs. On one hand I agree with that idea but somehow it doesn't sit right with me. What kind of relationship is it if one half is never allowed to express her honest opinion to the other half?

I think moms of adult daughters can learn from Mother - Daughter Duet but should also keep in mind that their mother - daughter relationship is unique and special and treat it as such.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.