The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence [Hardcover]

SuEllen Hamkins (Author), Renee Schultz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 5, 2007

Reviving Ophelia meets The Mother- Daughter Book Club in a book that offers a proven model for staying connected through adolescence

There is no comment more troubling to the mother of a young girl than “she loves you now, but just wait ’til she’s a teenager.” Ten years ago, SuEllen Hamkins and Renee Schultz, psychotherapy professionals with a combined forty years’ experience and both mothers of then seven-year-old daughters, created The Mother-Daughter Project with several other women in their community, with the hope of disproving this damaging assumption. With their young daughters, the group met regularly to speak frankly about such issues as girls’ friendships (and aggression), puberty, the media’s influence on their self-image and esteem, drugs, and sexuality.

As their daughters matured, the mothers marveled at the strength and confidence with which the girls thrived through adolescence. The Project had succeeded in creating a haven from the many perils of teen culture. Equally important, it helped the mothers navigate their own fears and concerns about adolescence with integrity and grace.

At once simple and revolutionary, this book details the success of the Mother-Daughter Project’s groundbreaking model, providing the reader with a road map for strengthening her bond with her own daughter, and providing strategies for staying close through adolescence and beyond.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapists Hamkins and Schultz and a small group of other moms began the Mother-Daughter Project when their daughters were seven. Over the next 10 years, the girls and their mothers met on a regular basis to help the girls weather adolescence while remaining "strong, confident and whole." Since their initial meeting, dozens of mom-daughter groups have sprung up around the world and the authors have become speakers on the subject, claiming that their simple solution to keep daughters and mothers close during potentially turbulent times turned out to be a resounding success. Not only were these meetings a safe haven for the girls, but they also provided a wellspring of support for the mothers themselves. The authors hypothesize that teen girls do better in a close and loving relationship with their mothers, and that separation-and the animosity that often accompanies it-isn't necessary in order for girls to grow into independent, confident adults. The prose can be long-winded when introducing the rationale for forming this sort of nurturing club, but the second part of the book delves into the hands-on process. Included are activity ideas (such as a special pre-menstruation ceremony or mom/daughter slumber parties) and discussion guides for year-by-year issues from seven to 17 (e.g., safety, values, money, sex and independence). Authors Hamkins and Schultz offer women practical ways to help their daughters embrace adolescence within an empowering "circle of love."
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About the Author

SuEllen Hamkins, M.D., was for twelve years the psychiatrist for Smith College. She now has a private practice specializing in women’s mental health.
Renee Schultz, M.A., has been a marriage and family therapist for over twenty years.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 352 pages
• Publisher: Hudson Street Press (April 5, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594630348
• ISBN-13: 978-1594630347
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.7 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #646,223 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars great message for mothers and daughters!, May 19, 2007

By 

S. Badeau - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence (Hardcover)

I bought this book earlier today and am over halfway through it. I am the mother of two daughters, age 9 & 12. While I wish I had this book five years ago, it doesn't feel like it's too late. A great resource for years to come, with positive self, daughter and relationship building ideas.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a wonderful resource for parents, August 30, 2007

By 

Ken Talan - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence (Hardcover)

I think "The Mother-Daughter Project" is a terrific book. I have recommended it to parents that I see in my practice as a child psychiatrist, to friends who have daughters, and to anyone whom I meet who has daughters! I believe this book is a rich tool, from the perspective of understanding and, most beneficially, from the perspective of practice: on how to foster strong, nurturing, and enjoyable bonds between mothers and daughters and between mothers and mothers. The common experiences and challenges that different generations of females encounter in our society, and life itself, as well as the resources needed to meet those challenges, are richly explored in this book through the discussion of the evolution of the mother-daughter group.
With detail and humor, the authors share with the reader the journey of this group of mothers and daughters over 10 years, as they start meeting monthly when the daughters are seven years old and continue up to the time of college. We learn about the very rich array of activities that these very thoughtful and intentional mothers used to educate their daughters about the tasks they will encounter in each coming stage in their development. Age specific challenges to mothers and daughters, together and separately, are covered in an overview level and in the very rich detailed activities the mothers and daughters used to prepare for, practice, and develop the skills and abilities to deal with all that is involved in moving from protected childhood into adulthood. This book is a wonderful resource to all parents-whether or not they are in such groups.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly Useful and Beautiful, October 8, 2007

By 

Dr. Cindy L. Parrish (USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence (Hardcover)

The Mother-Daughter Project is a most practical, theoretical, and hopeful guide to dealing with our predator culture -- a culture that expects and even thrives upon mothers and daughters becoming separate during the daughter's adolescence. My mother-daughter group, just begun with help from the book contains 11 & 12 year old girls and their mothers and is a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic group who have various economic backgrounds. We did one of the exercises ("our perfect day") from the book and it elevated us to a surprising new level, created an introduction to community within the group and highlighted some marvelous differences and similarities between the generations. My own 11-year-old daughter said, "I noticed that everyone in our group had something going for mangoes AND liked climbing...also that we all wanted to get up really early so that we could really live large during the day!"

This is an incredible book for anyone interested in women, girls, psychology, spirituality and community. The extremely readable information about our culture's approach to girls and women and the valuable stories about the mother-daughter pairs in the authors' M-D Project make "The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mother and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive Through Adolescence" truly a book to read, re-read and USE.