Customer Reviews

The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The author does a good job of describing the problems associated with the "emotional legacy" we inherit from our mothers, but fails to explore any sort of helpful solution, apart from commonsense exploratory question-and-answer type exercises meant to help the reader identify his/her issues with their mother. The book is also very repetitive. In the end, I didn't come away with any new insights and still feel frustrated about what I awknowledge is a significant roadblock in many people's lives--mother issues--which the author overkills in exploration but doesn't quite manage to tackle in the way I would have expected from a man with 20+ years of experience as a psychologist. Overall, not recommended.

I just finished reading The Mother Factor and really enjoyed the author's discussion of mothering styles and the kinds of emotional impact that our mothers have in our lives. Dr. Poulter offers a very comprehensive discussion of mother-child relationships and how we develop within this psychological context. I didn't expect the book to solve the issues I have with my mother - no one book will ever do that - but the points and illustrations were thought-provoking and new to me. This book challenges you to take an honest look at yourself and your relationships which is not always an easy task.

I feel like I have a better grasp on some of the things that went on between my mother and myself and this will allow me to start the work I need to do on myself to move forward and create my own legacy. I highly recommend this book to men and women at any age!

This is a very intense book. It requires a lot of self-reflection and self-honesty. I found it very helpful for uncovering my "blind- spots" in my relationships with my foster-mothers. It is very worthwhile book to read if you are having trouble with bonding issues in relationships.

Like any great book, this one has its strengths and weaknesses. On the positive side, Poulter has a compassionate tone when addressing the reader; like a good therapist he is an unbiased arbiter who just wants to listen and help. The book has fun fill in the blank sections and self reflection sections, it's like having a private therapy session. He understands. He knows we are all different, listing several different perceptions we would have to our unique mothering styles. I liked the categories, like the perfectionist, who is the kind of woman who will not leave the house without full hair and make-up on. Underneath her shallow exterior, she is masking self-loathe and anxiety, which she passes down to her children. She is over-critical and has impossible standards, which make her children self-loathing, hyper critical of themselves and masking insecurities just like her. Then there is the Me First mom, who values social status and herself above all else. Her kids turn out to be ego strokers for their mom, and narcissistic in their own ways. For example, they may think they are above the law, don't think they have to follow the rules others have to follow and thus commit a lot of crimes, or they may fawn over celebrities because they appear better than others. The unpredictable mom is happy one minute and sad the next. Her children become emotional caretakers for her mood swings and develop into people pleasers and codependents. The Best Friend Mom refuses to discipline or set boundaries for her children, fearing that she will become an authority figure. This is the mom who goes to bars, gets trashed and picks up men with her daughter. She is unconsciously abandoning her children. Her children tend to be resentful and seek mother figures through surrogates in their lives. There are no "monster" mothers in this book (like serial killer moms, etc). The book was intended for a general public, people with more prosaic conflicts with their mothers.
On the negative side, it is a "pop" psychology book. It is not like taking a class, with power point slides and theoretical implications. I am a wonk, so I missed out on that aspect and hungered for him to dig deeper into the human psyche. However, if you hate textbooks and power point slides and want a light but insightful read, then this is the book for you.

This is a book everyone who's intersted in self-empowerment/transformation needs to read and study. In reading this book, I gathered more insight than I've ever read anywhere. I became painly aware of how damaging not having a solid mother figure can have on an individual. What I read explains many of the problems I've had/am having today. The most important thing is to realize how one's mother is a template for how we bond and relate to others as adults. After knowing this, we are better equipped to "re-write" or "re-design" this template. This book can be life changing if you use it right.

THE MOTHER FACTOR: HOW YOUR MOTHER'S EMOTIONAL LEGACY IMPACTS YOUR LIFE is based on the author's psychology practice and shows how a mother's influence can work either for or against us. A mother's 'style' influences adults lifelong: THE MOTHER FACTOR illustrates these common styles, from perfectionism and best friends to the 'me first' mother, and illustrates combinations of traits in showing how adults can transcend the underlying messages to achieve mental health. General-interest lending collections will find it a popular read with an eye-catching cover.

I really enjoyed this read. Dr. Poulter helped me understand and realize how much my mother has affected my life, good and bad. Also how I can take those negative feelings and understand them and change what I need to. It was a great easy read and I would recommend it for any daughter who is very close to their mother but is also trying to make a life for herself. This book it about understanding, and changing if one feels its necessary.

This book is a handbook for anyone who struggles with their mother daughter/son relationship. It is not only very insightful but provides constructive advice on how to deal with the relationship and get on with your life. Its an excellent book and written so that the reader can easily sift through and read what best applies to their own situation. I would highly recommend it.

Although even healthy relationships are complex, the author is able to describe several scenarios one of which each of us is likely to fit in to. It appeals to me that he also informs us that we must view are situation in a way that allows us to move forward in spite of them. He shows us how to take some control instead of dwelling on the situation brought on through birth.

Wow, here's a book that gave me insights I never had before. I've never read a book that's meant so much to me, and I even have to say it's changed my life for the better. The Mother Factor has helped me understand so much about my life that really didn't make sense in the past. Overall I was just blown away. Thank you Dr. Poulter!