4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Weak but worth a look, December 20, 2005
This review is from: Mother of My Mother: The Intricate Bond Between Generations (Paperback)
Hope Edelman's book is successfully part memoir and part academic study. She has chosen a narrow scope for her research, and that's fine--that is, until she feels the need to dismiss other related topics (such as the equally intimate bond between granddaughters and paternal grandmothers) by claiming that they are just not as significant instead of acknowledging that she simply did not choose to research them. The second hole in Edelman's research comes when she refers to how maternal grandmothers live longer than paternal ones--where the basis for this statement? I'll believe it when I see it. It's absolutely fine for her to choose to focus specifically on mother to mother to daughther generational relationships; what's not fine is for her to casually brush off related relationships as though they just don't matter as much. Within the context of her thesis, they are not as significant, but this is something that Edelman needs to address instead of pretending that she didn't write about them because they are not as significant.
Other than these two crucial holes, Edelman's book holds merit in its well-written accounts of family, both from her own life and from her case studies. It's worth a read, not so much for its actual insights, but perhaps for the insight that it inspires its readers to pursue on their own.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
As a mother of 4 sons (& 1 daughter), I disagree. . ., May 8, 2000
This review is from: Mother of My Mother: The Intricate Bond Between Generations (Paperback)
Hope is a good writer--she's observant; reflective. I loved her book "Motherless Daughters" and she effectively uses her own experience to make her point. However. . . She lost me on this book because in one sentence (one sentence, mind you! ) she dismisses the relationship between a paternal grandmother and her granddaughter as never being as close as the maternal grandmother. That may be true in some cases--indeed, in many, and surely in her own. However, Hope's research is limited and biased. How can she effectively dismiss half of the population? Look at examples down through history of grandmothers & granddaughters (via their sons). . Their influence was great and I maintain ALL family relationships take investment and time. You get out of it what you put into it. The "mother of my mother" book a catchy idea, but the bias really bothers me. And what about adopted daughters? I have an adopted daughter, 4 sons, 1 grandson, & 1 granddaughter whom I love with all my heart (she's crazy about me, too). Each of my children and grandchildren are unique and each relationship is unique. This book depressed me for days until I was able to babysit my Kendsy (4 mos. old) for 5 days straight and re-fill my emotional cup. I gave this book 3 stars for the writing but the concept is weak! Sorry.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
A Little Too Much Of A Good Thing, A Book Review of Mother o, May 7, 2004
This review is from: Mother of My Mother: The Intricate Bond Between Generations (Paperback)
A Little Too Much Of A Good Thing, A Book Review of Mother of My Mother, the Intricate Bond Between Generations by Hope Edelman, Publisher, The Dial Press, Random House, Inc. 1999, pages 268.
The personal narrative launches the book, as Ms. Edelman recounts her relationships with her grandmother and her mother. Though the topic sounded intriguing, I opened this pop psychology book as a skeptic. I was immediately impressed with the author's ability to write. Her tight, well- honed and descriptive use of language lent ease and interest to me, as a reader.
Throughout the book, Ms. Edelman uses her "story" as an anchor. This device breaks up the monotony of the soft clinical research and conversely the facts reduce any tedium from the repetitive return to the author's recounting of her experience and that of her "examples". In doing it acts as a catalyst to trigger the memory of one's childhood, one's grandmother(s) and mother(s).
Once meandering with the author refreshed my memory, I was given insight, tools for self-awareness and self-help by the author. These were offered in an effort to assist the reader in sense of one's past, present and future; great clarity gained through understanding of core familial relationships.
She pinpointed four specific types of grandmother/matriarchs: Benevolent Manipulator "whose love for her family is matched only by her desire for control"; Gentle Giant "who possesses a quiet, behind-the-scenes power, the kind of elder whose very presence elicits awe and respect"; Autocrat, "who rules her extended family like a despot.... which members acting out of fear of her anger or loss of her affection": Kinkeeper "the hub of the family wheel, acting as its social, cultural, or religious center and offering a sense of cohesion to the extended clan". All of these examples included specific family histories to illustrate this character type and her impact upon her granddaughter.
The concept of "health" is outlined as "a system characterized mainly by co-operation, honesty, respect, and appropriate boundaries. Whether or not a triangle includes these elements depends in large part on the type of relationship the grandmother and mother share. When their relationship is balanced-meaning it's neither overly enmeshed nor emotionally disengaged and remains relatively free of competition, conflict, and resentment-the triangle is stable enough to absorb adversity in other bonds."
Unfortunately, in spite of the interesting topic, and Ms. Edelman's skill as a writer and raconteur, the numerous exemplary stories and remembrances after remembrance finally became too much; the excess bogged Mother of My Mother, the Intricate Bond Between Generations down. By the end, everything melded together. Though the book had many interesting points, and I was glad to have gained acquaintance with this author, I was also happy to part company with Hope Edelman and legions of exemplary characters.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
