Customer Reviews

The Mother [VHS]

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I noticed recently that this title has gone out of print (as of 10/12/06), so I felt compelled to say a few words about what I feel is a very special film. I want to encourage anyone who has not seen it to grab a copy NOW while you still can, and I hope that a great designer label (perhaps Criterion) will pick it up and showcase it to a greater audience.

"The Mother" is a very adult tale and that's part of what makes it so special. Aside from the somewhat graphic, intergenerational sex scenes which are noteworthy enough--"The Mother" offers up one of the most complex and uncompromising character studies ever put on film. Anne Reid is flawless as the mother in question. Widowed, sixty-something and completely dissatisfied with life in general, she enters into an illicit affair with the friend of her son. She feels her life is empty, useless--and the affair is her one way to feel again, feel anything. Is it passion, love, degradation? In truth, it's a combination of all three and her only tangible way to grasp at the life she has become so disconnected with. The film never asks you to sympathize with her, it's a "warts and all" approach. Far from being a heroine, you will be left questioning her motivations, her incapacity to love, her familial loyalty. It's a brave, bold, and stunning portrait.

Every time you think you know where the story is headed, your expectations are thwarted. Like real life, things don't necessarily follow an inevitable logic nor do they resolve themselves tidily. Daniel Craig does solid work, as usual. But it's Reid's show. In a fierce performance, she lays body and soul naked--a performance that surely would have garnered an Oscar nomination if the film had a higher U.S. profile.

For those that lament the lack of ADULT, challenging films--this is a must see! I found myself rooting for these characters even though much of their behavior is destructive. I just find it refreshing when things don't have to be nice or happy or polite. That may be what is represented in most movies, but life is more complex than that! KGHarris, 10/06.

One of the first things that struck me about "the Mother" was how disaffected, distant, and unemotional she is. In fact, her entire family seems to be so totally self-absorbed, self-obsessed and overly materialistic that not one character is at all likable. Rather than appearing as a shining beacon of love and support to her children, May (a marvelous Anne Reid), comes across as more concerned about her own failings. While ready to listen on the surface, deep down she's a middle-class, snobby, and somewhat uncaring mother who probably loves her children when it's convenient for her, but has spent the majority of her life resenting her children for stifling her when she was younger. The sexy affair she embarks on with her daughter's boyfriend, without regard for her daughter's feelings, says a lot about the years of pent-up repression inside of her.

Astutely observing the intricacies and nuances of English domestic middle-class life, director Roger Michell, allows us to peek into the lives of the elderly May and Toots (Peter Vaughan) as they visit their grown children in London. They are a long-married and well-to-do couple. Bobby (Steven Mackintosh), their busy son has a glamorous life style, a thriving business, a new house, and a wife and two children. Paula (Cathryn Bradshaw), their daughter, is a single mother, a schoolteacher, and an unpublished writer. When Toots suddenly dies of a heart attack, May, in a fit of fear and loneliness, moves in with her children to escape the solitude of her house. Her arrival at Bobby's causes problems so May goes to stay with the busy Paula.

Going back and forth from Paula's flat to Bobby's house, May meets Darren (a gorgeously sexy Daniel Craig), Bobby's robust, muscle-laden best friend who is doing some building work on the house. After Paula asks her mother to find out whether Darren wants to marry her, May becomes friendly with Darren. They have lunch together and there's obviously a connection because May kisses Darren. Soon their friendship becomes physical and with Darren sexually thrilling her, they begin an incredibly hot affair. May is a frumpy grandmother in her sixties, while Darren is a bearded, virile man in his thirties.

All the characters in this film are absolutely mired in dysfunction. May is unhappy and alone, and she fears becoming old. Her children don't particularly like her, and Paula, especially, bitterly resents her; she thinks that May's been a lousy mother who never "encouraged" her. Paula is portrayed as neurotic, hysterical and cloying, and her obsession with Darren totally gets in the way of her ability to see that Darren is kind of useless and doesn't particularly love her. Darren is also haunted: he drinks too much, copes with an autistic son, and sleeps in his car. He's always poor and seeks solace from his problems in doing lines of coke. At first Darren is nice to May, and she offers to take him on as a type of sugar mother to him, but soon she begins to see his other side.

The Mother is a beautifully acted movie with Daniel Craig and Anne Reid giving astoundingly realistic performances. The sex scenes between them both are totally realistic and beautifully done, the connection between them being far more than just sex. Reid is especially good at portraying a complicated, middle-aged woman, who is actively seeking her own fulfillment and rediscovering parts of herself that have lain dormant for years. Craig is also great as her young, spunky suitor easily portraying a good man who seems to be very kind and understanding until May, unrealistically tries to push their relationship. The Mother is a quiet, complex and very adult film that analyses, with a type of subtle restraint, the deleterious effects of selfishness, egocentricity, and self-interest on families. Mike Leonard December 04.

With the death of her infirmed husband, May, an older woman faces a future in an urban world that views her as invisible, dead from the neck down, and unwelcome in the pseudo- sophisticated yuppie homes of her son, Bobby and his shallow wife, Helen, and Paula, a self- absorbed, clinging, and minimally talented daughter. The central family is anything but warm, supportive, and understanding of her new and tragic stage in life with the death of her husband. The Mother is a quiet character study that points up how in some societies, the elder parent is both unwelcome and a burden to grown children whose careers and status seeking overshadow all else.

As May comes to realize the world is still important to her, the lonely widow finds her libido reawakened and alive with her daughter's boyfriend, a carpenter and rough sort. May embarks on an uninhibited sexual affair with Darren whose character is sympathetic to her at first, but his flawed nature is quickly revealed through the pressures of the women who surround him.

This is the kind of role Hollywood actresses of a certain age whine is never written for them, but they would never appear because of the frank and overt sexuality, unglamorous wardrobe, little makeup, and social commentary on the vapidness of the society most film industry women are involved. The performance by the lead actress, Anne Reid ranges from quiet to giddy and her interpretation blossoms on screen from the drab widow to a sexually alive and freed middle age woman without face-lift, hair extensions, and liposuction. She bares more than her soul for the screen.

Daniel Craig is the enabling handyman, Derrek who beds both mother and daughter. He turns in another stellar performance that is at first sympathetic to the widow's situation, but in the end is without redemption as his true nature unfold and he is literally the rooster in a hen-house. His aimless character's inability to say no to the ex-wife, boring girlfriend, and her mother is blamed as the root of his ineffectual existence. While good with his hands at building a conservatory, he is unable to construct meaning in his life.

One of the best films from Britain in years, it is simply adult in its storyline. The Mother is the rare kind of film that is perhaps too honest for American audiences to tolerate having no car chase, no bling, no rap soundtrack to drown out the cretin performances by TV starlets and buff studmuffins. The Mother reflects how the aging baby boomers are now disposable people that offspring are willing to overlook, send to the retirement home, and get out of the way. May doesn't know what to do as she is made alive by Darren, isn't willing to go to the old folks home, and finds her kids are more conservative than she ever was at their age.

THE MOTHER is an extraordinary film that addresses many issues plaguing our society today: the problem of aging, death, the disintegration of the core family unit, the need for love transferred unsuccessfully onto casual sex, and loneliness at the end of the day.

May (Anne Reid of 'Love and Death on Long Island', 'The Dresser', 'Liam' in a stunningly underplayed performance) and her husband Toots (Peter Vaughn) have traveled from Northern England to visit their children and grandchildren in London. Son Bobby (Steven Mackintosh) is married to his work and to a cold wife Helen (Anna Wilson-Jones) who is self-absorbed and not at all ready for the intrusion of an 'old couple' in her home currently under remodeling by a friend of Booby's, a carpenter Darren (Daniel Craig) who just happens to be the lover of May's and Toot's other divorced and perennially frustrated daughter Paula (Cathryn Bradshaw).

Toots dies rather abruptly, leaving May lost in a world she views as strange and unfriendly, so trapped in her marriage of many years to a man who never acknowledged her worth as a person. Unable to return to her home, May is offered a place to stay with Bobby and spends time looking after Paula's single-parented child. Through a gradual a very delicate mutual need, May becomes infatuated with Darren who is half her age and because of Darren's mutual neediness, the two have a sexual as well as a spiritual bonding. The bizarre circumstances of mother and daughter bedding the same man are discovered and the manner in which this fragmented family unit copes provides an ending that will surprise few, but will touch the hearts of all.

Roger Michell ('Notting Hill, etc) directs Hanef Kureishi's ('My Beautiful Launderette') screenplay with sensitivity and grace, never allowing the film or his characters' acting to be mawkish or maudlin. The cinematography is some of the finest you will see in a film of a small story: frames suggest minimalist art constructions, even Mondrian forms. Likewise the musical score is generally limited to a simple, elegantly lonely piano. This is a profound statement that hopefully will jar many people into re-examining life in the 21st Century and try to repair some of the devastating effects of alienation in a time of need. Highly Recommended.

"The Mother" is a provocative look at a scarcely filmed reality - a woman who isn't ready to stay home, watch "the telly," and vegetates after her husband of nearly three decades, and a controlling, dominating chap at that, packs it in with a massive heart attack.

May (Anne Reid) is strong in her resolve to both acknowledge her sexuality and expect, indeed demand, a future of happiness. But she is also inescapably vulnerable. She's fishing in uncharted emotional waters. Who controls her relationship with Darren and why are difficult issues for her to understand, much less resolve. In her sixties, she's still a work in progress.

"Something's Gotta Give" showcased mature sexuality but in an amusingly antiseptic way assuring no viewer would be discomfited. After all it's Jack Nicholson and the always beautiful Diane Keaton cavorting in the world of the rich. And to insure that no serious psycho-social issues were explored, Keaton's young girlfriend, Amanda Peet, daughter of Keaton, not only blesses the match but insures that the audience knows she and her old (er) would-be lover never hopped into the sack.

Not on this film. People probably gasped when May writhed passionately in bed with her younger hunk lover, Darren (Daniel Craig) or later saw sexually explicit drawings by May when this first came out on theaters. I doubt the audience was aghast at the nudity or the drawings' content as much as feeling uneasy at seeing a woman in her 60s rapturously enjoying sex. It's to be inspected that Anne Reid's inspired performance forces discomfort on some while drawing respect from others. I truly ejoyed this film last night and will never forget it.

Kudos to director Roger Michell for tackling a fascinating story with verve and empathy.

This 2003 British import is a more than just the domestic drama it seems at first. It goes deeply into the heart and soul of some troubled human beings and uncovers some disturbing universal truths.

Ann Reid is cast the mother. She and her ailing husband travel a few hours to visit their adult son and daughter in London. While there, the husband dies. She's in deep grief and doesn't want to return home. Instead, she stays with her daughter, a single mother, who is having a robust affair with a carpenter who is renovating the son's home. The mother tries to understand the daughter but she sees that the daughter is really unhappy with the relationship, mainly because the carpenter is married.

The mother, however, is attracted to the carpenter too, even though he is a young man. (He was born in 1978; she was born in 1935). Soon they, too, are frolicking in bed. It's a hot and heavy relationship. Of course there are complications, especially since he is still bedding down the daughter.

I must applaud the acting in this film. Everyone seemed completely authentic, even if they weren't always likeable. The script was unique too as it tread in forbidden places and was full of complex human drama. It was a good story, even if I did find it a little slow paced for my taste. And, also, as I've said before, even though I'm an English speaker, I sometimes wish there were subtitles in British films because I just don't get every single line.

This is a real story that rings true and I did enjoy the experience of watching it. I definitely recommend it.

Arrived in "as new" shape, just as advertised by the seller. No gripes there. But, this version had been stripped of a particularly steamy scene (viewed in a previously rented DVD) which is one of the reasons that I had ordered a copy for myself. There was no indication that the DVD had been edited to remove scene(s).

Other than that, this is a particularly riveting story about family dynamics, including a sexually repressed senior family member who is widowed and who longs for male affection, thus upsetting the rest of the family. I recommend the movie, though I would recommend the full version even more, that is, if you are not easily "squeamed" by overt sexual performance.

Roger Michell's "The Mother" ranks with "Cries and Whispers" and "Long Day's Journey Into Night" as one of the most unpleasant, profoundly disturbing portraits of a dysfunctional family ever put on film. It is also undeniably brilliant at showing the frayed knots of family loyalty that only need one good shock to break irrevocably. Hanif Kureishi--an old hand at making audiences squirm--tells the story of May (Anne Reid), a sixtyish housewife in a semi-rural English town, visiting her children in London with her husband Toots (Peter Vaughan). Ten minutes into the movie, Toots dies, leaving May totally at a loss. As the film makes plain from the beginning, May's life has revolved entirely for decades around caring for Toots. At first we think the film will be a poignant study of a woman's grief. May doesn't want to go back to her empty house, but her children plainly don't want her around: her son Bobby (Steven Mackintosh) is a cold, self-centered businessman, and her daughter Paula (Cathryn Bradshaw) is a needy, whining neurotic who blames her mother for nearly everything that's gone wrong with her life. We think the story will be about May's learning to stand up for herself and make a new life. (When Bobby asks May not to be difficult, she stiffens and asks, "Why shouldn't I be difficult?") But then May meets Darren (Daniel Craig), Paula's sexy, moody boyfriend and a man half May's age, and from then on all expectations fly straight out the window and land with a crash. I wish the publicity for the film didn't reveal what happens between May and Darren, but even so the impact of it assaults the audience like the punch in the face Paula eventually gives May. If the movie were just about an elderly woman's sexuality, it wouldn't be so shocking; what shocks is May's selfish betrayal of Paula, and the brutal fashion in which Paula discovers it. At that moment we lose all our moorings as an audience, and have no idea who among the characters to side with, if anyone. We still have sympathy for May--as we don't for the patently hateful Paula, Darren and Bobby--but we also gasp in horror at her heedless behavior, and get an idea why her children turned out the way they did. "The Mother" is hard to sit through, and also hard to forget.

Any female in the western world over 50 will greatly relate to this woman - whether she has or has not acted on similar impulses. From just existing to becoming awakened and very much alive later in life is wonderfully and so very naturally portrayed on screen.
So, ladies, if you have passed that magic half century this is a MUST SEE.

There is something about British films that make you forget you are actually watching a movie. The acting in this film is near perfect; it makes you realize just how mediocre the genre is in America.
To see an older woman paired with a younger male is shocking only because we never see it. Put Jack Nicholson or Sean Connery in a similar scenario and there is no such surprise, as if men can move into the second stage of life without any thought to their own fading beauty or virility. It speaks to the social alienation that is forced upon women when they become middle-aged and the lack of respect shown by children who are too busy to notice just how lonely and lost their parents have become.

The dialogue is authentic, the emotions are perfectly conveyed, and it is difficult to know which character is most sympathetic. The mother character is complex, subtle, and at times ambiguous. Her children are flawed in their own ways and the lover is at once admirable and pitiful. I highly recommend this film.