An antidote to our stressed-out mother culture, MotherStyles validates the notion that good mothering comes in many styles and explains how understanding how you most often react to your child and why is the most important step toward working through areas that have long given you trouble. Drawing on the personality type-theory popularized by the Myers-Briggs(r) Type Indicator and author Janet Penley's more than eighteen years of working with mothers, MotherStyles explains the combinations of traits that make up sixteen distinct mothering approaches. From the "Tuned-In Mother," the "Heart-to-Heart Mother," and the "Kids 'r' Fun Mother" to the "Responsibility Mother" and the "Independence Mother," Penley helps readers identify which style reflects her own strengths, struggles, and needs and, from there, offers unique and concrete ideas for ways to overcome the parenting challenges inherent to each type. Guiding mothers to an understanding of how type affects parent-child interactions and family dynamics, MotherStyles will help moms everywhere to recharge their batteries, and find success in this most important of roles.
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
According to Penley, who self-published The M.O.M.S. Handbook, the key to making mothering easy and enjoyable is to become aware of ways of interacting in the world (e.g., being extroverted or introverted, sensing things based on facts or feeling them intuitively) and balance personal needs with external demands. Penley developed her "Mothers of Many Styles" (M.O.M.S.) program to free women of the image of the "perfect" mother and help them identify their strengths and weaknesses first as mothers, and then in all relationships. Based on the Myers-Briggs personality inventory, Penley's questionnaires and evaluations may aid some readers, but others may find the system—it involves 16 personality types and 16 corresponding mothering styles—complicated and time-consuming. Perhaps the most valuable aspect of Penley's program is her focus on self-care and her recognition of the unique gifts that each woman has to offer her children. However, trying to work with Penley's system on a daily basis could, ironically, add more stress and yet another layer to the image of perfection: the thoroughly self-aware mother who can respond appropriately to her child in all situations. (May 1)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Janet Penley has been conducting parenting workshops for groups of mothers, therapists, and life coaches and for corporations for more than eighteen years. The mother of two grown children, she lives in Texas. Diane Eble is a professional writer, mother of two children, and the author of ten books. She lives outside of Chicago.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book was very helpful to me in understanding WHY I do things the way I do (for example, how I relate to my children). It also helped me to understand why my mom did/does things.
I was able to make a guess a my children's personality types (there is info in the book in how to do that) and found out that my daughter and I only share 1 letter out of 4 - no wonder I have a hard time understanding her! Taking our personality styles into account, I am better able to provide her with the emotional and physical attention that she wants and needs. I also try to focus on the strength we have in common and have been able to bond more easily.
I have loaned this book out three times already and have another person waiting - but I want to read it again first. I highly recommend it!
I was able to make a guess a my children's personality types (there is info in the book in how to do that) and found out that my daughter and I only share 1 letter out of 4 - no wonder I have a hard time understanding her! Taking our personality styles into account, I am better able to provide her with the emotional and physical attention that she wants and needs. I also try to focus on the strength we have in common and have been able to bond more easily.
I have loaned this book out three times already and have another person waiting - but I want to read it again first. I highly recommend it!
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Ever since before I conceived my daughter, I have devoured parenting books by the score. Only a few have passed the "purchase test." (I borrow everything I read from the library, then decide whether I'll reread it enough times to want to own it.) Motherstyles is different from anything else I've come across. After reading ONE PAGE I purchased it on the spot. A few more pages and I was already laughing and crying, feeling deeply affirmed as a mother and energized by the powerful truths this book contains. Since first reading it cover-to-cover in a couple of days, I have referred to it several times a week for my own parenting and to share its insights with friends.
Ms. Penley has used her deep understanding of personality type to show every mother why she shines in certain areas and struggles in others. Motherstyles solves an amazing number of mysteries about why different mothers, kids, and people in general operate differently, as well as shedding light on family dynamics. The book "justified" for me certain strong needs I have as a mother--such as why I need daily solitude for my very sanity, while for many of my mother friends, a little time alone is simply a luxury that they can postpone if need be. So I'm meeting my needs more consistently--without guilt. I have stopped comparing myself to other mothers, instead embracing my personal style as a gift to my child. And everyone in my family is happier!
Mothers in our society are in an strange bind: At our fingertips is an unprecedented amount of theoretical knowledge about all that children need in order to thrive. Yet on the practical level, ONE person, with her very human strengths and limitations, is expected to provide it all . . . while socially isolated, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by the rest of life's demands. It would be funny if it weren't so serious. This book goes farther than any other to lighten the load of that impossible burden, empowering mothers to claim their own uniqueness as a vital part of their children's thriving.
Motherstyles has changed my world. Since reading it, I've been imagining a world in which every mother had a copy of it. It would be a world in which every mother was doing her very best parenting, her unique kind of parenting--while having fun and feeling plenty of ease and joy! A world in which every mother approached her children, her partner, other mothers, and herself with warm and deep understanding. A world in which every mother felt free to be fully herself. And THAT would give children what they truly need. I urge mothers, their partners, educators, and everyone who works with mothers to buy Motherstyles and help change the world!
Ms. Penley has used her deep understanding of personality type to show every mother why she shines in certain areas and struggles in others. Motherstyles solves an amazing number of mysteries about why different mothers, kids, and people in general operate differently, as well as shedding light on family dynamics. The book "justified" for me certain strong needs I have as a mother--such as why I need daily solitude for my very sanity, while for many of my mother friends, a little time alone is simply a luxury that they can postpone if need be. So I'm meeting my needs more consistently--without guilt. I have stopped comparing myself to other mothers, instead embracing my personal style as a gift to my child. And everyone in my family is happier!
Mothers in our society are in an strange bind: At our fingertips is an unprecedented amount of theoretical knowledge about all that children need in order to thrive. Yet on the practical level, ONE person, with her very human strengths and limitations, is expected to provide it all . . . while socially isolated, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by the rest of life's demands. It would be funny if it weren't so serious. This book goes farther than any other to lighten the load of that impossible burden, empowering mothers to claim their own uniqueness as a vital part of their children's thriving.
Motherstyles has changed my world. Since reading it, I've been imagining a world in which every mother had a copy of it. It would be a world in which every mother was doing her very best parenting, her unique kind of parenting--while having fun and feeling plenty of ease and joy! A world in which every mother approached her children, her partner, other mothers, and herself with warm and deep understanding. A world in which every mother felt free to be fully herself. And THAT would give children what they truly need. I urge mothers, their partners, educators, and everyone who works with mothers to buy Motherstyles and help change the world!
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I rarely bother to write reviews but this book deserved 5 stars! I have used the MBTI personality types effectively at work and there are great books on that for the workplace. That said, I have not found a better overall summary of conflict resolution for type differences than in this book. And of course its application of MBTI to mothering is unique. I found the recommendations helpful, concise and best of all not guilt-inducing! It was a refreshing and thoughtful read. I highly recommend it.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great gift for a new mother
This book really helps mothers feel good about their unique style of mothering, what comes naturally to them, rather than fretting over what another mother might do better. Read more
Published 22 months ago by E. Ecker
Poor Type Analysis- Contrasts w/ REAL MBTI results
I was so excited to get this book. What a dissappointment. Being an INTJ, I feel rather isolated as a mom and I was hoping to find tips for how to interact w/ my own strong minded... Read more
Published on May 4, 2010 by m
Mother's Helper
I was so taken with this book I bought it as a gift for 8 of the young mothers I know. They love it!!!
Published on September 1, 2009 by Lynn Bieber
Mother Styles
This was my first time ordering. I am very pleased with the merchandise and the timely manner in which it was recieved. Read more
Published on August 13, 2009 by Mattie A. Sparks Sandusky
So insightful!
I have learned so much about myself as a mother after reading this book! I highly recommend it especially for women like me who feel like they have never fit the mothering mold. Read more
Published on April 2, 2009 by Emily Fontes
Communicate With Your Children By Their Personality Styles
This book was amazing. I always wondered why I seem to get along better with my son than my daughter. After reading this book, I realized why. Read more
Published on January 7, 2009 by Shevonne A. Polastre
Mother-centred, child-centred tips for parents ?
Whether reading in order to gain a better understanding of oneself, one's own mother, wife, daughter, or indeed any member of the family, there is much for each of us to learn... Read more
Published on November 25, 2008 by Anthony R. Dickinson
Typing method flawed
I can't say this to people enough; that MBTI method typing is flawed, because of the following reasons. First, the test you take on typelogic dot com determines you internal self. Read more
Published on June 3, 2008 by Maritsa
It's a little like someone switched on a light bulb!
I have been an accredited MBTI trainer for 6 years - but I have this daughter who's now 5 and she's, lets say, 'spirited'. Read more
Published on January 12, 2008 by Lorraine Johnston
Great book for Moms who "don't fit" the mold
If you are the mom who always has kleenex, a snack and a spare to share, fresh water bottles, a first aid kit, combs and hair accessories in your purse and glove box, if you bathe... Read more
Published on September 30, 2006 by Seattle reader
Inside This Book
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First Sentence:
THINK BACK TO A TIME, A MOMENT, AN INCIDENT, WHEN YOU FELT YOU WERE really on top of this mothering game. Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
judging mom, judging mother, middle two letters, mothering style, judging children, judging parents, caring styles, personality core, judging types, mothering experience, sixteen types Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Family Affair New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
THINK BACK TO A TIME, A MOMENT, AN INCIDENT, WHEN YOU FELT YOU WERE really on top of this mothering game. Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
judging mom, judging mother, middle two letters, mothering style, judging children, judging parents, caring styles, personality core, judging types, mothering experience, sixteen types Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Family Affair New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 9
books:
See all 9 books this book cites
- People Types and Tiger Stripes by Gordon Lawrence on page 17, and Back Matter
- The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner on page 198, and Back Matter
- The Developing Child: Using Jungian Type to Understand Children by Elizabeth Murphy in Back Matter
- Gifts Differing by Isabel Briggs Myers in Back Matter
- Farmers Market (Alfreda's Recipes) by Story Time on page 212
See all 9 books this book cites
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