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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on May 10, 2013
As the mother of two daughters, 14 and 15 years old, this book has become my bible. I originally met the authors, Sil and Eliza at a Mother and Daughter workshop at the Omega Institute. It was through their teachings , knowledge and passion for spreading the word to help mothers and daughters stay close, communicating and growing together through what our society has labeled, "the difficult years", that has changed my life. This book has kept me connected to my teenage daughters . My relationship with my girls would not be as healthy , respectful and loving were it not for what I have learned reading this excellent book. I love the way the book is set up so that my daughters are reading one side and I am reading the other,meeting in the middle at amazing Chapter7. This Mother's Day, give yourself the best gift of all, BUY THIS BOOK and stay close to your daughter and girls, stay close to Mom!
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on April 11, 2014
I happened upon this book at a friend's house and picked it up out of curiously. As the mother of two boys, I wondered whether the content was somehow unique to mother/daughter relationships -- and NO !! I ended up reading the whole thing -- and its central insights and ideas are absolutely applicable to any mother/child relationship especially during the teen years. I think it spoke to my issues with my sons with great insight and accuracy and it has been enormously helpful in rethinking our relationships.
Children are children, and adolescence is adolescence, and I would recommend this to all parents, no matter the gender of your child.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on August 13, 2014
Read this book first!

Out of the hundreds of parenting books out there, choose this one if you are a mother of a daughter. Sil and Eliza achieve a delicate balance of wisdom and accessibility, in this mother-daughter call to arms... not weapons, but arms to put around each other in order to stay close through these dynamic years. As a mom of an almost 14 year-old adventurous daughter, I've made it a personal mission to defy the stereotypes that insist the teen years must be terrible, and this book is my companion in that mission.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on March 6, 2014
After I finished Sil and Eliza Reynold's book I bought copies for all of my friends with daughters my daughters' age (age 10). Then I was talking about the book to my friend who has 3 boys, one of them an adolescent, and realized she would benefit from reading it too.
My daughter is not quite old enough to read the Daughtering part, but since I AM a daughter as well as a mother, I found it very insightful and healing to read the Daughtering chapters. Eliza's advice about being a daughter is wise way beyond her years.
The Mothering chapters are SO valuable for all mothers, and I believe fathers, too. I love the definition Sil gives of mothering: "raising your daughter to become herself." She encourages all parents to follow their own intuition when it comes to parenting. She gives very practical, real world advice about how to keep our children close as they go through the changes of adolescence. She gives real examples of what she did when she and her daughter disagreed on curfews, boyfriends, etc. She acknowledges it can be tough to stand your ground as a parent and explains why it is important. She explains in clear terms why it is important for children not to spend all of their time with their peers and how to put smart boundaries around this.
Sil also writes about her relationship with her own mother, and the importance for mothers of looking at the relationship with their own mothers and understanding it.
I love this: "I find it useful to think of parenting as the practice of holding a safe psychological and emotional container for our children to grow in. The parent's job is to continue to adjust and readjust and enlarge and strengthen this container as the child matures developmentally. Conscious mothering is having the awarenss that we are 'holding' and monitoring (at gradually more and more of a distance) our child's progress."
I think healing the mother-daughter relationship is essential for our times and can't recommend this book highly enough.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on October 21, 2014
I can't recommend this book enough. These two women are so special and are giving us the mothers the tools to raise our daughters with confidence and love. This book is a much needed tool in today's hectic times. The book gives great exercises to practice with your daughter, understanding her better and validating our roles as mothers in today's society. Their hands on parenting approach works - without hovering, without helicoptering. Buy the book, read it and attend one of their seminars. Well worth every penny and time you spend!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on September 5, 2013
This is a must read for any mother and daughter! Especially for any mother who had issues with her mother!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on February 10, 2014
Sil and Eliza's book creates a pool of light which spreads a hope and a new paradigm for all parents and children, but especially for mothers and daughters. With simplicity and grace they share with us their personal relationship as it grows, endures and matures, all the while staying grounded with insight and analysis. Such rich imagery and profound yet simple exercises evoked a forgotten memory in me of what times of risk, honesty, laughter and connection feel like with my mother and how nurturing that is. What it's like to step outside of and beyond the hurt and loss we've been taught is "normal" and inevitable. And to realize what it can feel like to live with connection for mothers and daughters. They make real and create a path to, and a world where we can grow in connection and joy, and fill the unmet hurt and longing with rich timeless healing for all women and girls. Their voices are rain on parched soil and bring a path for and real hope for healing. I wish I had this book when I was a teen... Their book is destined to become a landmark classic, paving the way for others to pioneer further... I can't wait to see what they write next. I'm so happy to have read it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on March 22, 2014
To move through the teenage years as the ally of one's daughter is a profoundly moving experience. This book maps, from the perspectives of both mother and daughter, the opportunities, responsibilities and pitfalls of this journey. Of particular importance to me were two things: the recognition that there is no relationship which is irretrievably broken, and how to begin to repair when rupture has occurred, and that daughtering is an active process with its own privileges and responsibilities. This isn't a journey in which the mother bears the full responsibility for trajectory and outcome. Sil and Eliza have done us all a great service in writing this book and providing clear, easy to implement strategies for achieving and maintaining a viable, growing partnership for the teen years and beyond. Thank you!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on July 14, 2013
This is a beautiful guide on how to stay "real" in your relationship with your mother/daughter. Although I don't have a daughter, so much of the material in the book is relevant to how I understand, and continue to heal unconscious beliefs and behaviors that played out with my own mother as well as the relationships I have with my nieces and goddaughters and clients!

Both Sil and Eliza have such unique, grounded, honest, passionate, voices, and its such a treat to hear them both interact and dialogue in one book!
Its NOT preachy at all, but very conversational and intelligent and authentic.

Enjoy! I promise you'll be delighted and educated and moved and it will open up some very real, important conversations. Truly......
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on February 22, 2015
I wish I had this book when I was a teenager and I really struggled with my relationship with my Mom. Eliza's gentle yet bold advice is exactly what a teenage girl needs to hear when the greater culture is sending constant messages that undermine self worth. Sil's perspective as a mother and leader in this incredibly important movement is extremely valuable to a mother of any child. I especially thought the concept of creating a container for your child was incredible. As a 28 year old woman, I found this book valuable, it gave me a new perspective on my current relationship with my mother and my younger sister. I will keep this book forever and I'm sure I will read it many times over again when I have a daughter of my own someday!
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