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on May 10, 2013
As the mother of two daughters, 14 and 15 years old, this book has become my bible. I originally met the authors, Sil and Eliza at a Mother and Daughter workshop at the Omega Institute. It was through their teachings , knowledge and passion for spreading the word to help mothers and daughters stay close, communicating and growing together through what our society has labeled, "the difficult years", that has changed my life. This book has kept me connected to my teenage daughters . My relationship with my girls would not be as healthy , respectful and loving were it not for what I have learned reading this excellent book. I love the way the book is set up so that my daughters are reading one side and I am reading the other,meeting in the middle at amazing Chapter7. This Mother's Day, give yourself the best gift of all, BUY THIS BOOK and stay close to your daughter and girls, stay close to Mom!
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on April 11, 2014
I happened upon this book at a friend's house and picked it up out of curiously. As the mother of two boys, I wondered whether the content was somehow unique to mother/daughter relationships -- and NO !! I ended up reading the whole thing -- and its central insights and ideas are absolutely applicable to any mother/child relationship especially during the teen years. I think it spoke to my issues with my sons with great insight and accuracy and it has been enormously helpful in rethinking our relationships.
Children are children, and adolescence is adolescence, and I would recommend this to all parents, no matter the gender of your child.
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on August 13, 2014
Read this book first!

Out of the hundreds of parenting books out there, choose this one if you are a mother of a daughter. Sil and Eliza achieve a delicate balance of wisdom and accessibility, in this mother-daughter call to arms... not weapons, but arms to put around each other in order to stay close through these dynamic years. As a mom of an almost 14 year-old adventurous daughter, I've made it a personal mission to defy the stereotypes that insist the teen years must be terrible, and this book is my companion in that mission.
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on October 21, 2014
I can't recommend this book enough. These two women are so special and are giving us the mothers the tools to raise our daughters with confidence and love. This book is a much needed tool in today's hectic times. The book gives great exercises to practice with your daughter, understanding her better and validating our roles as mothers in today's society. Their hands on parenting approach works - without hovering, without helicoptering. Buy the book, read it and attend one of their seminars. Well worth every penny and time you spend!
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on March 6, 2014
After I finished Sil and Eliza Reynold's book I bought copies for all of my friends with daughters my daughters' age (age 10). Then I was talking about the book to my friend who has 3 boys, one of them an adolescent, and realized she would benefit from reading it too.
My daughter is not quite old enough to read the Daughtering part, but since I AM a daughter as well as a mother, I found it very insightful and healing to read the Daughtering chapters. Eliza's advice about being a daughter is wise way beyond her years.
The Mothering chapters are SO valuable for all mothers, and I believe fathers, too. I love the definition Sil gives of mothering: "raising your daughter to become herself." She encourages all parents to follow their own intuition when it comes to parenting. She gives very practical, real world advice about how to keep our children close as they go through the changes of adolescence. She gives real examples of what she did when she and her daughter disagreed on curfews, boyfriends, etc. She acknowledges it can be tough to stand your ground as a parent and explains why it is important. She explains in clear terms why it is important for children not to spend all of their time with their peers and how to put smart boundaries around this.
Sil also writes about her relationship with her own mother, and the importance for mothers of looking at the relationship with their own mothers and understanding it.
I love this: "I find it useful to think of parenting as the practice of holding a safe psychological and emotional container for our children to grow in. The parent's job is to continue to adjust and readjust and enlarge and strengthen this container as the child matures developmentally. Conscious mothering is having the awarenss that we are 'holding' and monitoring (at gradually more and more of a distance) our child's progress."
I think healing the mother-daughter relationship is essential for our times and can't recommend this book highly enough.
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on August 28, 2015
Great inspiration and tips, both for mothers and daughters. Still have to read the last chapter together with my daughter. I wish I had bought the paper version though. I bought the Kindle-version and it was harder since it is two books in one, to get to the second book, which starts in the middle.
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on June 17, 2015
I attended the workshop at Omega Institute for mothers and daughters and then read the book. The workshop is truly based on the book, so if you can't make it to one I highly recommend reading this and creating your own getaway - even if it's a staycation - with your daughter(s). The workshop transformed my relationship with my daughter (age 12). We had a really rough year and were so tired of arguing. We were both beyond frustrated and there was minimal positive communication. It's been about 8 weeks since the workshop, and we're still on course and we're BOTH working to stay close to one another. Sure, we still have our moments, and that's why this book has come in so handy - it's like a refresher course. I'm sure I'll be going back to it often! If you want to keep your relationship with your daughter strong or strengthen one that's weak, read this book. It's honest, open, easy to read, fun, and insightful.
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on February 22, 2015
I wish I had this book when I was a teenager and I really struggled with my relationship with my Mom. Eliza's gentle yet bold advice is exactly what a teenage girl needs to hear when the greater culture is sending constant messages that undermine self worth. Sil's perspective as a mother and leader in this incredibly important movement is extremely valuable to a mother of any child. I especially thought the concept of creating a container for your child was incredible. As a 28 year old woman, I found this book valuable, it gave me a new perspective on my current relationship with my mother and my younger sister. I will keep this book forever and I'm sure I will read it many times over again when I have a daughter of my own someday!
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on February 10, 2014
Sil and Eliza's book creates a pool of light which spreads a hope and a new paradigm for all parents and children, but especially for mothers and daughters. With simplicity and grace they share with us their personal relationship as it grows, endures and matures, all the while staying grounded with insight and analysis. Such rich imagery and profound yet simple exercises evoked a forgotten memory in me of what times of risk, honesty, laughter and connection feel like with my mother and how nurturing that is. What it's like to step outside of and beyond the hurt and loss we've been taught is "normal" and inevitable. And to realize what it can feel like to live with connection for mothers and daughters. They make real and create a path to, and a world where we can grow in connection and joy, and fill the unmet hurt and longing with rich timeless healing for all women and girls. Their voices are rain on parched soil and bring a path for and real hope for healing. I wish I had this book when I was a teen... Their book is destined to become a landmark classic, paving the way for others to pioneer further... I can't wait to see what they write next. I'm so happy to have read it.
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on March 22, 2014
To move through the teenage years as the ally of one's daughter is a profoundly moving experience. This book maps, from the perspectives of both mother and daughter, the opportunities, responsibilities and pitfalls of this journey. Of particular importance to me were two things: the recognition that there is no relationship which is irretrievably broken, and how to begin to repair when rupture has occurred, and that daughtering is an active process with its own privileges and responsibilities. This isn't a journey in which the mother bears the full responsibility for trajectory and outcome. Sil and Eliza have done us all a great service in writing this book and providing clear, easy to implement strategies for achieving and maintaining a viable, growing partnership for the teen years and beyond. Thank you!!
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