Most Helpful Customer Reviews
118 of 119 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helps with Healing, July 27, 2000
I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen years old. When I went back to school after the funeral, I think I did what alot of girls do, I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me. This lasted for a couple of years, and during my first year of college, my father bought me this book. I kept it unread in a drawer for a long time, I didn't want to deal with my moms death. She was my best friend, and I couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, I picked up the book and began to read. I was only a few pages in, when I began to cry like I hadn't since the night she died. It was hard for me to read the book, but I did, a few pages at a time, over a couple of weeks. I never realized that while other girls lose their mother under different circumstances, there are still things that are similar, and bind all of we "motherless daughters" together. This book helped in ways I can't even begin to describe. It gave me someone to relate to (none of my friends had ever lost a parent). I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother, no matter how old you were, or how long ago it happened. It helped me face my pain, and work through it, like nothing else could. I know it is difficult to deal with, but Hope Edelman's book really helps make a tragic situation, a bit easier to cope with.
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46 of 47 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent treatment of a very personal situation, November 8, 2000
I lost my mother when I was just 13 years old and although it's been 16 years, I still feel the loss every day. Like the author, I had an overwhelming sense of grief in my mid-twenties. I mean it was like I was newly bereaved again. I would come home and cry. Or I would dream about her for consecutive nights. I am so glad that Ms. Edelmen took on this topic. Intellectually, I knew that I wasn't alone, but I am the only one in my immediate circle of friends whose mother is deceased so that makes for awkward moments on Mother's day and other holidays. Of course the sympathetic ones want to be a sort of replacement, but that's not what I want. I want my actual mother, my nurturer and my friend. It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced this loss, especially since I am an adult now. I remember that shortly after mom passed some callous relative actually had the nerve to tell me, "Life goes on." As if I didn't know that already. As if it were that simple. Thank you Hope, for helping us motherless daughters understand that the impact of this loss can be lifelong. I've long suspected that the absence of my mother has affected my intimate relationships and even my relationships with other females. It's one thing to feel something intuitively and quite another to see that someone else has not only felt that same way, but has researched it. I'm still reading this book, but I felt so strongly about it that offer up my heartfelt thanks right now. This book is a blessing, and not just for daughter whose mothers are deceased. Hope also addresses women who have been abandoned ny their mothers and those who have never known their mothers.
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
it's okay to grieve, January 6, 2000
I am 24 and lost my mother two months ago. I have been feeling a deep sense of emptiness and have come to the conclusion that in general, the world seems to overlook the pain of parent loss. It's said to be a natural cycle of life, however, when you're young, there's nothing natural about it. I just happened across this book as I was browsing in a book store, and can honestly say that it has not only given me permission to grieve deeply, but it has validated many of my feelings of loss. As the world tends to tell you to "get on with your life," or "stop playing the victim," this book encourages people to aknowledge that mother loss is indeed a profound loss, and one that can affect a person for a long time. Accepting the painfulness of a loss and feeling grief is not playing the victim role, it's simply being human. As I watched the world respond to my mother's death, the outpouring for my father was tremendous and in many ways my sister and I stood in the background and observed this. This book confirmed that it's no wonder mother loss is so painful, it's the first relationship one ever experiences and once it's gone there is no substition, no new parent. My father may remarry, but my sister and I will never have another mother. Through this book I have been able to allow myself to grieve deeply and understand that my loss is not more, and certainly not less than anyone elses, just different. The biggest thing I learned from reading this book was that it's important to face the grief and saddness head-on It has to be dealt with at some point and the sooner the better. I am so glad that someone was able validate and address the pain surrounding mother loss at not only a younger age, but at any age.
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