Review
"... graceful blend of memoir, contemplative advice, literary references, holistic health tips that track the joys and difficulties of motherhood." --
The Salt Lake Tribune"In this charming bedside book, Braner gently reminds that [as a mother] you have the opportunity of recreating yourself." --
Berkley's Parents' Press"This beautiful book is at once empowering, inspiring, and comforting. If motherhood is a journey, consider this the ultimate guidebook." --
Ame Mahler Beanland, co-author of Celebrating Motherhood and It's a Chick Thing"This is a wonderfully wise book, written with an intimate awareness of new moms' needs." --
Mothering Magazine
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Introduction:
Conception
Developing the Self
Motherhood begins at the moment of conception. In that moment, everything shifts. Life makes way for life. As a woman’s belly swells, a slow but steady understanding dawns. Her maiden time on this Earth has passed. A more mysterious time beckons. She endures queasy mornings, rife with uncertainty. And as her baby grows, she begins to understand the meaning of giving herself over to a child. Her body houses two souls. Her life is flooded with a sense of wonder and purpose.
During this time of inward change and sacred recognition, a woman’s outer world changes also. The identifying phrase "with baby" says it all. While pregnant, I felt as if a veil shrouded my physical self and the only part of me that people recognized was my abdomen, the baby. I had never felt unseen before pregnancy. Suddenly I was merely a "mother-to-be." This external label affirmed yet contradicted who I was. I was thrilled to become a mother, yet perplexed about losing my own identity. While my identity seemed to narrow to others, it amplified to me.
Being pregnant was my first introduction to the realm of expectation that surrounds motherhood. If I were to write a résumé of the world’s perfect mother, it might read like this: responsible, giving, selfless, sacrificing, tireless, strong, moral, wise, kind, forgiving, nurturing, supportive, and so on. No one said it would be easy but I’m not sure that I want to become someone else’s version of the perfect mother. I’d also like to be free-spirited, adventurous, artistic, funny, sensual, and romantic. Rather than blurring one’s true self, motherhood can magnify and honor all aspects of who you are. I am a more sensitive writer, a better listener for my friends, a more caring lover.
The first year of motherhood is a time of great change and insight. You will be tested physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. You’ll be pulled to notice the ways in which you care for and neglect yourself. As we walk through these weeks together, I’d like you to open your heart and continue to ask yourself one important question:
What if I were a mother of my own design?
