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For Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood Paperback – February 22, 1999


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For Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood + When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along + Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 324 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (February 22, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0375753184
  • ISBN-13: 978-0375753183
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #160,810 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"There is something of value in this book for every mother and daughter."
--The Island Reporter (Sanibel, Florida)

From the Inside Flap

The first mother-daughter book for mothers, featuring a new Afterword and a Reading Group Discussion Guide

¸         Do you long for a better relationship with your daughter?
¸         Do you occasionally feel as though you have failed as a mother?
¸         Do you blame yourself because your relationship with your daughter is strained, faltering,
        or nonexistent?
¸         Do you feel that the relationship is unchangeable and that there is no chance that it could
        become a nurturing and deeply satisfying friendship?

Dr. Charney Herst knows that there is always more than one side to a story, and in her book, For Mothers of Difficult Daughters, she uses her twenty-five years of experience as counselor and group therapist to provide mothers with solutions that work. In the book she first helps you understand your particular relationship with your grown daughter--untangling the complex web of personal history and intense emotion inherent in any mother-daughter relationship. Then she describes practical, successful, mother-tested steps you can take to repair this all-important bond.

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

Found the book very interesting.
Dodo
Whether your relationship with Mom or Mom's relationship with you is wonderful or strained, "For Mothers Of Difficult Daughters" is well worth reading.
pacole@ibm.net
Kudos to Dr. Herst wherever you might be now - this book has been a tremendous learning tool for me.
MJC

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful By Angela Thacker on March 13, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book was very helpful in many ways. I thought it was very up to date with today's parent and adult child thought patterns and reads very nicely. It offered various alternatives to reconnect with your adult daughter whether she lives with you or has been out of your life for years. It offered various strategies for many types of situations that sounded reasonable and workable for both parties. It also helped solidify several areas I was already working on; some of those areas were to stop asking questions, stop offering unsolicited advice, and get involved in your own life. Overall, I found it very helpful and highly recommend it.
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61 of 68 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 4, 2001
Format: Paperback
How could I explain one child that was easy to get along with and another child that was not? They were raised the same way. I made parenting mistakes, but there weren't severe. Our home was loving, our marriage healthy, the children loved. Why was it so hard? This book offers solace to mother's who feel lost and terribly saddened by their difficult relationship with their daughter. It also offers excellent tips for improving your relationship with your daughter, without blaming either party. In my case, it was as simple as learning to hold back on offering advice and learning how to make sympathetic noises instead. Within just a few months, her screaming outbursts had stopped and I was no longer being wounded. One and a half years later, my daughter calls me her best friend. I learned how we all have a "perfect" daughter imagined in our mind and we must let go of those images and learn to love who our daughter is. It sounds simple, but it is not. People are born with different personalities and some people are naturally prickly and irritable. I appreciate the author who helped me see this and helped me see that I did not fail the daughter I love so much.
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32 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Bernadette A. Moyer on March 30, 1999
Format: Paperback
As a mother of a very difficult eighteen year old daughter, I found this book to be direct, honest and very helpful. I felt very alone and upon ready I realized that I was not alone at all. The upset and pain was easier to handle just knowing that other Mother's had been through similar situations. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who has a daughter.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By S. Levinson on November 9, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I ordered several books from Amazon when my relationship with my adult daughter went south! This is my favorite by far. No need to get another book, this one is so helpful. The author helps you understand why things went bad and then she gives you a plan to try to fix the relationship. She gives you a great deal of comfort and sound advice. Excellent choice!
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By MJC on December 15, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book provided me with much needed advice in dealing with my "dissatisfied" college age daughter. I had reached a point where I actually felt sick each time my cell phone buzzed fearing my daughter (my own daughter!) was calling to complain, vent, or argue about some other new negative drama occurring in her life. No matter what I tried, these phone calls and face-to-face conversations always ended up with my feeling terribly guilty, upset, angry, and/or completely stressed out. Dr. Charney Herst's 'permission' for me to take back control (limiting these vent sessions to five minutes tops) has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I was, and I am, a good mother (flaws and all)! And with the practical advice provided in this book, I'm learning to 'mother' adult children. If you are dealing with a "difficult" daughter my heart goes out to you and I strongly recommend that you read this book. Chapters cover daughters who are dependent, dissatisfied, and distant. You don't have to follow all the advice, just take the parts that fit your own situation. Kudos to Dr. Herst wherever you might be now - this book has been a tremendous learning tool for me.
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20 of 25 people found the following review helpful By pacole@ibm.net on September 20, 1998
Format: Hardcover
For Mothers of Difficult Daughters is especially touching to me for a number of reasons. First, it offers practical analysis on types of mother/daugher relationships that are difficult. Second, it provides guidelines. How should mothers and daughters should act toward one another when their relationship is strained? Thirdly, Dr. Charney Herst is my Aunt and makes reference to experiences and a town in Maine that are near and dear to my heart. I'm proud of her work and found the book non-technical, informative, energetic, to the point, with worthwhile guidance. Whether your relationship with Mom or Mom's relationship with you is wonderful or strained, "For Mothers Of Difficult Daughters" is well worth reading.
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28 of 36 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 4, 2001
Format: Paperback
How could I explain one child that was easy to get along with and another child that was not? They were raised the same way. I made parenting mistakes, but there weren't severe. Our home was loving, our marriage healthy, the children loved. Why was it so hard? This book offers solace to mother's who feel lost and terribly saddened by their difficult relationship with their daughter. It also offers excellent tips for improving your relationship with your daughter, without blaming either party. In my case, it was as simple as learning to hold back on offering advice and learning how to make sympathetic noises instead. Within just a few months, her screaming outbursts had stopped and I was no longer being wounded. One and a half years later, my daughter calls me her best friend. I learned how we all have a "perfect" daughter imagined in our mind and we must let go of those images and learn to love who our daughter is. It sounds simple, but it is not. People are born with different personalities and some people are naturally prickly and irritable. I appreciate the author who helped me see this and helped me see that I did not fail the daughter I love so much.
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