Customer Reviews

Mother's Intention: How Belief Shapes Birth - A Commonsense Guide to Safe, Comfortable, Guilt-Free Birth in Five Simple Steps

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

There are many well-written, persuasive books on how to have a great birth. This is sadly not even close. What you have here is a rambling, punctuationally challenged, poorly written, typo-ridden excuse for a book. There is one excellent point made (thus 2 stars given), which I will summarize here to save you the trouble of reading this book: If you are pregnant and you want to be one of the ones talking about how great your birth was, do what the people who rave about their births do: hire a good midwife, take Hypnobirthing classes, and have a homebirth. If you want to be one of the women with a horror story to tell, do what the women who tell horror stories do: hire an ob (surgeon), take no classes or only the hospital-offered ones, and go to the hospital. There. That is the ONLY thing worth reading from this book, and I've given it to you fast and free. Now go on to read a really excellent book about birth, like something from Henci Goer.

I am pregnant and want a home birth using hypnosis, both of which this author is very enthusiastic about. I was looking forward to a positive, informative book about the wonders and benefits of natural birth, and instead was treated to the longest rambling rant I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I'll admit, I only made it to page 178 before I gave up. The entire first section was this stream of consciousness explosion of raving against OBs, parents who smoke, women who work after their children are born, and this imaginary and yet (in her opinion) large portion of women who schedule unnecessary C-sections so they can plan the day their baby will be born.

The problem isn't that what she says is untrue, it's just that she says is in such a bitter, angry judgmental way. For example, on page 149 there is a section called Skillful Midwifery. I thought, "Finally, a break in the invective for a calm, peaceful positive section on midwives and the many benefits they offer." Well, that was less than a page long. Then she spent 2 pages setting up a scenario with a mother-to-be who smokes and lies about it to the nmidwife and also lies about seeing a traditional OB, and when the midwife drops her a as a client she ends up delivering in a hospital with major complications. Then, the doctors in the community ostracize the midwife, refusing to give her any medical care when she is in need of it. It's just a paranoid, self-serving horrible story, and such a disappointment when I wanted to read something nice for a change.

The author is just so snippy and superior. The book starts out not with a wonderful peaceful explanation of a good birthing experience, but with dictionary definitions of the words like "biased" and "judgmental" (and I mean actual copied dictionary definitions, like we never graduated from gradeschool) and a lengthy explanation of why she isn't any of those things. Defensive much?!? I'm clearly not the first person to think this way about her. She calls women who prefer hospital births "sad" (page 169) - I mean really, I learned not to call people names in kindergarden. She is pulling people onto the guilt train, making them feel inferior if they aren't like her and ridiculing others. It was just so unpleasant to read.

There are so many positive birth books out there that say the same things but in a nice, non-insulting way, please read one of them instead! Try Birth without violence by Frederick Leboyer. And also, try the HypnoBabies self-hypnosis course, it takes a wonderful, gentle and peaceful approach to childbirth education.

PS. On a more picky note, she repeats herself constantly. For example, she has quotes in boxes off to the side, and quotes the same traditional Iriquois nation saying 3 times (possibly more, as I said I didn't finish the book). There are typos and grammatical errors as well. She needs a good editor.

If you are someone just coming to the idea that natural childbirth is best, its an important work (thus the 4 stars).

I appreciated the intentions of this book, but it was not my bag stylistically. I already think natural/home childbirth is probably ideal (haven't done it yet)--and that a woman's intentions and psychology play a central role, so a lot of this book was kind of elementary to me. I didn't need the effusive justifications and hand-holding to get past the OB paradigm. This may be nitpicking, but it did get in my way: I am also a voracious high-level reader and thought the writing could have used more polish.

This is as hard core, honest and straight forward as it comes! The writer tells it like it is, doesn't cut corners or omit for the sake of politically correct. She explains in detail how what you believe to be true will affect your experience from pregnancy through birth and into Motherhood. The writer points out how so many people today do whatever they are told without questioning anything, and how this lack of intelligent decision making will create negative impact on our experiences.

It's not meant to be a peaceful, "La La" book about how to have a wonderful natural childbirth. It's a look into our phsyce as a culture and how what we believe shapes our birth... as the title clearly implies.

The writer says it, reinforces it and backs up everything she says with viable resources.

It's a to the point, honest approach at telling women that they are in charge of what they go through.

I did not find it to be angry or bitter whatsoever. On the contrary, she touched many times on the necessity of acknowledgement and release of guilt.

It's a good read, an intelligent read and it's real.

While it is elementary for anyone who is already a convert, it's a necessity for the woman who wants to take control over her own journey into Motherhood, who wants to avoid being intimidated and who wants the truth up front and straight.

It's not a "how to have a baby at home" book. It's a "wake up and make your own decisions" book.

As a daughter of a doula, and someone who tried to have a home birth and then had to have an emergency transport, I am very open to home birth and think in many cases it is the best way. However, I thought the author of this book spent way too much time dwelling on the negative aspects of a hospital birth and not on the positive aspects of a home birth. Not only that, she really didn't leave room for any options. As I said, I had to have an emergency transport to the hospital after trying at home for 30 hours to have a natural birth. I cannot accept guilt for my decision, sometimes these things do not work out, no matter how badly we want them to. Also, I didn't appriciate how judgemental she was about breastfeeding, both I and a friend of mine tried desperately to breastfeed, we tried everything and it didn't work for us. Women don't need guilt like this, they need a positive representative of home birth.

As a doula and childbirth educator I HIGHLY recommend this book to pregnant women and anyone involved in pregnancy and chilbirth. I have read MANY books having to do with pregnancy and childbirth and I run into the same things all the time. Most books focus on the goings on with the body and fetus, and either promote hospital or natural birth. But this book is about working through any fears or belief systems that are standing in your way of making informed decisions for yourself and your unborn child. It gives you much to think about and really gives you a chance to work these things through before the birth of your child. It's an excellent read, and I recommend adding it to your library, you will want to keep going back to this one!

The tone of the book starts off seemingly angry, cynical and sarcastic. For these reasons I may not be inclined to recommend this book to anyone who is not one hundred percent passionate about having a natural homebirth. I found the first half of this book to be abrasive at times and repetitive. It seems that Ms. Wildner feels the need to convince her audience to see things her way and if they don't then they are at fault. The wording in the book does not seem to leave much room to allow women to choose what is right and comfortable for them unless it is a drug-free, intervention-free homebirth. The book at times is very judgmental of women's lifestyles and choices that do not conform to the author's viewpoints. I feel that the tone of this book may turn women away and they will not benefit from the very useful information found in the latter chapters. Mother's Intention seems to be full of contradictions. Ms. Wildner seems to be trying to convince women that childbirth is not naturally painful but that they have just been conditioned to believe that it is and therefore they feel it. She uses the reasoning that women are told by the bible that it is "Eve's Curse" so they are programmed to think that God made childbirth painful and so it is. She then goes on to say that women who are not Christians are not effected by that but also have painful births. I personally feel that pain is an important part of the birthing process. Learning methods to cope with the pain and work with your body to birth your baby is an empowering event. The experience can transform a woman into a warrior that is ready and able to confront and work through any situation life has to offer. I also feel that the pain is a link to the awareness and consciousness of the event and the child. In my opinion Ms. Wildner did not emphasize this very important element of birth but discounted it by implying that birth should be naturally pain-free and if it is not then you are not doing it the right way. Once you read past the repetitive attempt at convincing you to believe that birth is painless and only natural homebirth is the correct way, this book has a lot to offer. The information on how intervention can lead the birthing process down a road to unnecessary cesarean is a message all women need to hear. Knowing that they do have a choice and having labor support can help them to have the birth they intent is also a valuable message. I would however recommend a more objective book like The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer instead.

This book is unlike any other book about birth. A guided journey of self-discovery leading to the best birth possible. An amazing read that I recommend to every woman that will ever give birth.

Sondee Belson CD(DONA), HBCE

Mother's Intention is an insight into modern childbirth that gives you the facts not the fiction, plus tons of encouragement and support for every mother-to-be who's searching for the positive experience that is rightfully theirs. Rarely has the phrase "a must read" been used with such good reason. It IS a must read, but not only for mothers-to-be, their partners and their professional carers - EVERYONE even remotely interested in understanding the childbirth experience and its meaning in our lives will benefit from reading this outstanding book.

I loved this book! It's a must read for any pregnant woman or anyone thinking of becoming pregnant and contemplating a "traditional" birth. Kim gently speaks to her reader, yet tells it like it is, providing the truth about birthing in America. She has written from her heart and is reaching out to all mothers and babies..offering a beautiful path on which to travel. Her journal exercises are practical, helpful and definitely thought provoking! If you read only one book while pregnant...make it this one! If not for yourself...then for your baby.