Customer Reviews

Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law: Love, Hate, Rivalry and Reconciliation

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I was looking for some help witha troublesome mother-in-law relationship, and this one had some good reviews. I was fairly disappointed by it though.

First, the book offered a number of real-life examples, but the arrangement of these stories into seprate chapters seemed a little unclear to me--I found it hard to locate the sections that might be most helpful for my specific situation.

The second problem I had with the book is that the author apparently has no training in psychology or family therapy--according to the author bio she teaches screenwriting. So, she presents a lot of examples, but the "solutions" are not really solutions, but rather just statements of what the results of a particular situation are likely to be. I was looking for more concrete solutions.

I think that the book was VERY neutral. I don't think that she took either side. I am the Daughter-in-Law and I saw myself in many of the examples. Some things were hard for me to read, like I do have to accept that this woman is part of my life whether I like it or not and.... I do have to try to avoid conflicts with her for my husband's sake. Other things were great to read like "A mother-in-law has to give you her idealized vision of a daughter-in-law", and that her fear of losing her son comes from her being insecure and unhappy in life (or so I understood). I think that the book is good. It did give me a sense that my mother-in-law will never change and she will never apologize to me for being intrusive. I bought the book b/c I recently finally confronted her and I was looking for something to validate my feelings. This book certainly has.

i really thought I would give this book the benefit of the doubt. I thought the author would be subjective, but once again, she takes the mothers-in-law side. I happened to read a newspaper article in which she stated something like daughters-in-law usually have problems with their mothers-in-law in their twenties and then learn to appreicate their mothers-in-law later in life. That is so untrue. Unfortulately, the author found an interesting subject to write about, but it does not feel like she really knows what it feels like to be a daghter-in-law in distress. Good try,but I will keep searching.

Finally there is a guide book about mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law that makes me feel like I'm not the only one. Barash covers every issue imaginable, from interfaith marriages to marrying someone of another race, to holiday time and money matters. She interviewed hundreds of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law of all different backgrounds and ages. But certain issues seem to be the same for everyone. Even the thorniest of relationships can be healed if one reads this book. There is a questionaire in the back which is very insightful. I highly recommend this book to every mother-in-law and daughter-in-law -- before or after the wedding! It's a terrific read for women.

I am so pleased to find a book that explains the complexities of the mother in law/daughter in law connection. Susan Shapiro Barash, relationship expert and gender specialist, uncovers all the troubles and tribulations between these two women, citing psychologists, sociologists, divorce lawyers to give insight into why these two women harbor negative feelings toward each other. Barash also reveals positive stories, of mothers in law and daughters in law who fill a void in each other's lives. Interviewing women of all ages, working class and college educated, Barash finds that over time, even the worst of these relationships can be healed. The book includes a survey in the back and is well written and thorough. I recommend this book as aguide for every mother in law and daughter in law out there, regardless of how long they've been a mother in law or a daughter in law.

If the two people are relatively normal and emotionally and mentally healthy, this would likely be an excellent book to help both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law develop a good relationship.

I would not recommend this book....Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law: Love, Hate, Rivalry and Reconciliation.....I donated it to the library!~I bought several books with this theme....

Susan Shapirao Barash has done the incomparable job of exploring the mammoth complexity of the MIL/DIL relationship constellation. With warmth and compassion she weaves her way through the many different angles from both sides, looks at it from above and below, from inside and out. This relationship is undeniably one of the most complex, heart-wrenching and emotional parings in the human experience. We as women are so filled with complexities ourselves - add in two women competing for the love of one man - pitting a mothers love with that of the wife and you have a recipe for near-disaster at times. Thank you for Susan's warmth and wisdom to help unravel some of the mysteries involved in solving this conundrum - this puzzle that is both delicate and substantial all at the same time. A must read for any married woman, or any woman with a married son.

This is the worst book I have ever read. It is written in the style of a 6th grades outline. Each section provides specific relationship problems between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law and how it effects the son. Then it gives you a very short simple suggestion for what should be done. The problem is if you don't fit in to one of these very specific relationships the information is useless.Very boring to read also, a waste of time and money.

This book hopefully will be helpful for me to get me to understand my second daughter-in-law. Too bad it was not around 36 years ago for other family members to read. It has some very interesting insight into family relationships.