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Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life
 
 
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Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life [Paperback]

Michael Gurian (Author)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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The Invisible Presence: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects All His Relationships with Women The Invisible Presence: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects All His Relationships with Women 3.0 out of 5 stars (1)
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Book Description

November 23, 1993
Through exercises and guided meditations, the author provides the means to uncover the influence of the primal bond between a man and his mother and to facilitate healing there—as well as in marriage, parenthood, friendship, and all other relationships of love.

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Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life + Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity
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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Modern society lacks the rituals available in primitive cultures, claims Gurian, whereby a boy separates from his mother as he moves into manhood. As a result, many modern men do not adequately separate from their mothers. Gurian discusses the troubled relationships that result. He points out that the father's role in this separation is crucial; from him the boy learns what it is to be a man. If the father is absent or disengaged, the boy may be hurt. In unhappy families, mothers may give the wrong messages to their sons. In the second half of the book, Gurian offers a workbook-like exercise designed to take the reader on a journey to heal his relationship with his mother. Enlivened by examples and easy to read, this book makes a contribution to the literature on male personal development. For large popular psychology collections.
- John Moryl, Yeshiva Univ. Lib., New York
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Michael Gurian is the author of the New York Times best-seller The Wonder of Boys (Tarcher, 1996). He is a family therapist, corporate consultant, lecturer, and founder of the Gurian Institute. Michael has served as a consultant to families, corporations, therapists, physicians, school districts, community agencies, churches, criminal justice personnel and other professionals, traveling to approximately thirty cities per year to keynote at conferences. He is the author of twenty-five books.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 312 pages
  • Publisher: Shambhala; 1st edition (November 23, 1993)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0877739455
  • ISBN-13: 978-0877739456
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #67,867 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Michael Gurian is a social philosopher, family therapist, corporate consultant, and the New York Times bestselling author of twenty books published in fifteen languages. The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals. Michael has been called "the people's philosopher" for his ability to bring together people's ordinary lives and scientific ideas.
As a social philosopher, he has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, workplaces, schools and public policy. A number of his ground-breaking books in child development, including THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY! THE WONDER OF GIRLS and WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? have sparked national debate. His newest work, THE MINDS OF BOYS (September 2005) provides a revolutionary new framework, based in neuro-biology, by which to understand and care for the educational needs of our sons.
Michael has served as a consultant to families, corporations, therapists, physicians, school districts, community agencies, churches, criminal justice personnel and other professionals, traveling to approximately 20 cities a year to keynote at conferences. His training videos (also available as DVDs) for parents and volunteers are used by Big Brother and Big Sister agencies in the U.S. and Canada.
As an educator, Michael previously taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University. His speaking engagements include Harvard University, Johns Hopkins University, Stanford University, Macalester College, University of Colorado, University of Missouri-Kansas City, and UCLA. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.
Michael's work has been featured in various media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People, Reader's Digest, the Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.
Michael can be reached on the worldwide web at
www.michaelgurian.com


 

Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.0 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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83 of 93 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A profound guide to healing the mother-son relationship., June 6, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life (Paperback)
If a man or a woman reads the first chapter, and fear or deep sadness come up, this intensive workbook may be a path to deep healing. Gurian displays an enlightened understanding of the mother/son relationship in the theory portion of the book. Following a mythopoetic metaphor, the second half workbook will put a dedicated man well on the way to reclaiming his masculinity from his shadow. Men and women will gain more compassion and understanding of the opposite sex. An excellent book when coupled with a willingess on the reader's part to not get immersed in the study of wounds, and to move on in life through action.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Female Reader, November 24, 2004
This review is from: Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life (Paperback)
This book was tremendously helpful in helping me to understand how my Man's Mother shaped his life, why he has such difficulty with intimate relationships and what perhaps he can do to help himself. Thank you Paul Gurian! A library must have for any woman who finds herself involved with a Peter Pan, a perfectionist, or a misogynist.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Yes, it has some hyperbole and a pop psychology feel but it is still thought-provoking, March 24, 2006
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This review is from: Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life (Paperback)
Having just used the "Search Inside the Book" feature on Amazon to look at parts of another of Gurian's books (about choosing movies and books for boys and teens), I used it again to get a feel for this book. It convinced me to buy it, just as it convinced me NOT to buy that other book.

While browsing through sections of this book (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers...)I was intrigued by many of the points made. I wanted to know more, including how our society short changes boys in all sorts of way, major and minor, resulting in men who may be searching for a stronger sense of what being "male" in our society means.

One of the most crucial relationships is between a boy and his mother, as well as an active, engaged father. What I particularly liked was the emphasis on helping men heal past wounds, on building from the here and now to the future. I didn't find this book to be a "Blame the Mother" type book but more of an exploration of what can go right - and wrong - in families and , most particularly, between mother and son.

The insights I got from this book will affect my future behavior with my sons and I hope that males who are now living on their own but with unresolved issues with their mothers find solace, support and healing from reading this book.

I confess that I found some of the language to be a bit high-flown for my taste but that is just a very personal opinion and it may not bother other readers. Get past that and go for the nuggets of wisdom that are in this book.

I would strongly suggest readers also get a copy of the book and/or DVD Raising Cain because the it addresses some of the concerns the author has raised about how to raise boy in a system that isn't often designed to best meet their needs (in particular, the average public or private school).
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
WHO DO YOU SEE when you look in the mirror? Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
shadow masculinity, shadow masculine, inner wilderness, sacred warrior, adolescent hero, ritual rhythm, female mentor
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Beloved Feminine, Goddess of Love, Gray Woman, Native American, Gray Women, Don Jose, Don Juan, Donna Inez, Sacred King, The Moon Children, Mother Earth
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